Trouble hiring contractors

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I find it incredibly difficult to hire someone to do work at my house because it's so hard for me to deal with them and talk to them. Somehow I easily offend contractors, or they don't take me seriously in the first place. I will talk to them after wringing my hands for a long time and then finally biting the bullet and calling them, and then they show up and I explain the problem I have and very often never hear from them again. But the hard part is just interacting with them and knowing how to act and how to explain myself.

It partly has to do with being taken less seriously as a woman, but that's not what I'm referring to. I'm referring to my deep unease and near-terror in having to interact with someone and know how to act.

Anyone else?

Yes 100%. I always make a fool of myself somehow and look back in horror, like the time I had a painter at my house for a week and I stood next to him the whole time making nervous small talk and joining him outside on his smoke breaks. What the hell was I thinking? I tried to hire him again for something and he wouldn't come back. (Maybe it's because I also micro-analysed every square millimetre of paint and asked him to fix every tiny blemish?)

More recently I had some dude treat me like an idiot because I smelled a gas leak and he told me it was a skunk although I know it wasn't, and he ended up repairing my gas line but all the while treating me like I was insane. I followed him around like a zombie.

There was also a plumber who broke down crying telling me his 16 year-old stepdaughter had just been killed by/with her boyfriend in a drunk-driving accident. So I started bawling and told him my life story and talked about the Beatles and suggested he ring my boyfriend for grief counselling.

I need an electrician and a plumber next week. I already frightened away the dude who had to come three times to fix my dishwasher, so I'm not expecting it to go well.

Three quotes?? Yeah right. Never.

I hate dealing with service providers in general. It's rarely as simple as it should be. People in the trade have their ways of doing things, I have mine, and they're often quite different. I get quite embarrassed explaining what I want because I expect them to think I'm insane. And promises seem to mean nothing to a lot of them. They'll make an appointment, break it, and then talk as if they hadn't done that. I also don't know much about fair prices for building work so I feel in danger of getting robbed.

Is why I can get no where with the medical side of things. Was never able to see anyone while going through a few breakdowns as I could not put feelings into words. I just could not talk to explain. I begged my Mum to take me to a vet as I reasoned that vets treat animals without them needing to talk!

Bee,
Do you think it would help to register with Task Rabbit or another one of those home repair groups that has experts at all trades? You’d be able to register online with your info and select services by writing a description of your needs without making that dreaded first phone call. They usually write back or phone you to get additional details. Maybe it would help because it would feel like you only have one place to contact centrally instead of clutching at straws finding many contractors individually.

Kudos to my man for suggesting it. I might do it myself although I already have a plumber company I can manage to phone even though they’re quite dear.

Another idea is to use a phone relay service like TTY and they’ll make the call for you while you read along with the transcript answering questions if needed. They’ll tell the company you’re disabled so that’s half the battle right there and you won’t have to feel judged when the contractors arrive at your house.

And there's me doing EVERYTHING myself.
The only contractor I've let the on the property was my solar electrician and I was his assistant.(I trained as an electronic tech, and worked on rooftops for a decade)
Everything else I've done myself because I am pretty much incapable of asking for help.
I HATE working on engines...but do. I dislike fencing...but maintain them. I even dug a new septic leechfield.
Oh. There was one other contractor. I also got in someone with a digger to level the spot for our carport/firepit.

Are there any other relevant factors?

I am a minimalist. Before I married it was easy for them to work on my home because it was so uncluttered. (The folk that installed new wall-to-wall carpet were absolutely proud of how quickly they were able to do it.)

My bride is definitely not a minimalist. We had to spend a lot of time rearranging the stuff in our basement before I was willing to bring in a plumber to do major work there. With the basement stuffed full of stuff they would've had a lot of trouble working before we did major rearrangement.

...and, exterior work can obviously be hindered depending upon the plants and other stuff around the house.

I am so overwhelmed that I haven't been able to bring myself to call about the work I need done. I don't know how I'll have my house painted and it's peeling.

Thanks for the Taskrabbit suggestion. My therapist thinks I should get an assistant but I can't imagine how that would work or how I would even find someone.

I actually need internet, which is barely "work" that needs doing but I still have to have a guy come to the house, which I can't handle, and instead I am struggling with very slow and patchy internet.