shameful secret

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Does anyone else view their ASD as a shameful secret?

I feel like my ASD is a shameful secret (which I don't want anyone to find out).

It's a shame (no pun intended) I feel that way, but with how stigmatized ASD is by society, I find that the ideal approach is for me to pass as neurotypical (my ASD is mild enough I can pass).

One thing I'm going to stress on this post: It's not that I think there's anything wrong with having ASD; it's that I know others think there's something wrong with having ASD.

Not me.

I don't even mask. Any of my oddity is upfront for everyone else to see.
But my medical records and diagnosis is none of their business.

It's not like I don't want anyone to know, it's just that they do not need to know.


I can choose when or when not to play along with society at large, or whatever social setting and their rules.

Passing for me is something optional than an urgent must-have demand everytime I'm in public.

My lack of label and my nonconforming ways would keep them on their toes, and I prefer it that way.


I already knew well of those who do not know the label.
But if anyone finds out, I will likely know.
And I'd just know well enough of those who do know of the label; in which their reactions and perception says more about them than me.

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I don’t view it as a shameful secret. I don’t care what other people think of me.

If you consider AS a shameful secret, then you're just NOT doing enough weird sh!t !

No, I'm fine with disclosing.

No, Most members of my extended family know. I disclosed to my former boss as I had a good relationship with her and felt safe to do so. I know it can be hard to disclose though for many people and can't say I blame anyone who dosen't.

Nope.

I don't care who knew of my diagnosis.


I really just prefer having a say and power over who tells who and who knew what, unlike being a child with an overly chattering mother who I can never trust to keep a secret anymore.


I don't even care if the entire city knows. Maybe they actually do.

But I am still be very distrustful (and somewhat still pissed at) of my own mother (or anyone) for betraying my trust just to entertain whoever's she's (or they're) socializing with when I specifically say "Do Not Tell" and she (or they) do/es not listen...

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I don't see my autism as a shameful secret at all. I don't feel the need to mask. I don't feel the need to hide my special interests or obsessions. I even allow my autism to show up in my art. I see my differences as something to celebrate and autism is one of those differences.

My ASD traits are mild so they are not obvious, and I don't tell anyone about it in part because I would feel like I was making more of it than it is, but also, yes, because I would feel embarrassed, although I too don't think there's anything wrong with having ASD and I think people being open about it increases acceptance.

I do have difficulties, for instance with social interactions, and I would love to be able to explain that I am not being rude or that it's not that I don't care enough to pay attention, but I don't know how to say it. I think it would only add to the misunderstanding of why I am acting kind of weird and awkwardly. If I say it's because I'm autistic I think they would understand it even less.

Not really ashamed of my ASD, just a tad paranoid that people might view me with disdain for having it, or think that I'm making it up. So I don't talk about it much with most people.