This is the lowest I’ve ever felt

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TheEmptyShell
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29 Aug 2024, 5:29 pm

I am struggling. I have no friends to talk to or social events to look forward to. I am tired from having to get up at 6am to go to work. I have faint flicking in my eye because I have to look at a computer all day. What’s there to enjoy anymore? I don’t find my hobbies fun to do. Everything has changed and it makes me very sad. Other people post good news on social media and it makes me sad. I want to leave but then I will be even more alone. I’ve tried finding help but I can’t find any, I want to cry.



Mountain Goat
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29 Aug 2024, 9:08 pm

First thing to know is you are not alone. There are people on this site to talk to.



Carbonhalo
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29 Aug 2024, 11:54 pm

Many here will have an idea where you are.
Not as many will know how to respond.
Keep talking and you'll tweak some conversation



bee33
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30 Aug 2024, 1:07 am

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I don't know what advice I can give because I think it will ring hollow, but if you can find some solace in any little thing, like flowers and nature for instance, or any human interaction that you have, those are the things I tend to cling to when I am very low. Sending my best wishes.



TheEmptyShell
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30 Aug 2024, 5:52 pm

Thank you for responding. I wish I could talk to my family and feel better afterwards, it used to be like that when I was younger but nowadays I feel worse. I don’t want to talk to them about my feelings but I can’t hide them and they notice so they keep asking whats wrong to force me into the conversation. I’ve always had difficulty making friends, I want real connections with some people but I also find socialising exhausting.



babybird
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31 Aug 2024, 7:47 am

I wonder how old you are


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TheEmptyShell
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31 Aug 2024, 12:24 pm

I am not comfortable sharing my age.



BTDT
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31 Aug 2024, 3:19 pm

It may help to put together a list of stuff do.
Then do one or two things every day to get into routine of doing stuff.

It may not seem like much but it may help.



Brian0787
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31 Aug 2024, 5:42 pm

I can understand exactly how you feel and am sorry for what you're going through! I can relate to what you said especially with sitting in front of the computer. It's not easy making friends sometimes.


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bee33
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01 Sep 2024, 2:24 am

TheEmptyShell wrote:
Thank you for responding. I wish I could talk to my family and feel better afterwards, it used to be like that when I was younger but nowadays I feel worse. I don’t want to talk to them about my feelings but I can’t hide them and they notice so they keep asking whats wrong to force me into the conversation. I’ve always had difficulty making friends, I want real connections with some people but I also find socialising exhausting.

Can you tell your family that you want to interact with them but don't want to discuss how you are feeling or why?



Sweetleaf
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01 Sep 2024, 3:06 am

TheEmptyShell wrote:
I am struggling. I have no friends to talk to or social events to look forward to. I am tired from having to get up at 6am to go to work. I have faint flicking in my eye because I have to look at a computer all day. What’s there to enjoy anymore? I don’t find my hobbies fun to do. Everything has changed and it makes me very sad. Other people post good news on social media and it makes me sad. I want to leave but then I will be even more alone. I’ve tried finding help but I can’t find any, I want to cry.


Please hold on, life can be rough and sometimes it does not seem worth it, but it really is, LIke even if you don't find a specific purpose you can find a hobby or try and rekindle hobbies you liked before. Or try to find some new perspectives on things Idk it's rough I struggle with long term chronic depression so I know how it feels to wake up everyday wondering if life is even worth living...But it is at the end of the day and it is worth finding at least enough distractions to stay around. Cause idk even if you don't feel it there are likely people who care about you and would be very sad if they found you dead. And well if you should get a chance to enjoy some things to....but I know it is hard with long term depression to truly feel the feeling of enjoyment. Idk I guess I just think its worth it becuase there is so much more I could experience and sometimes something does get me laughing and I suppose I am glad to be around to hear comedians that make me laugh. And also I am an athiest so, therfore I belive this life is the only one I get.


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CockneyRebel
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01 Sep 2024, 6:59 am

Sweet Pea hugs


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TheEmptyShell
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01 Sep 2024, 4:37 pm

bee33 wrote:
TheEmptyShell wrote:
Thank you for responding. I wish I could talk to my family and feel better afterwards, it used to be like that when I was younger but nowadays I feel worse. I don’t want to talk to them about my feelings but I can’t hide them and they notice so they keep asking whats wrong to force me into the conversation. I’ve always had difficulty making friends, I want real connections with some people but I also find socialising exhausting.

Can you tell your family that you want to interact with them but don't want to discuss how you are feeling or why?


Maybe, it’s hard to know the right time to bring that up.



TheEmptyShell
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01 Sep 2024, 4:42 pm

Brian0787 wrote:
I can understand exactly how you feel and am sorry for what you're going through! I can relate to what you said especially with sitting in front of the computer. It's not easy making friends sometimes.


Thank you. When I was at school it was easier because you see each other most days, but now all my friends are busy with their own lives and we don’t meet up anymore. I blame myself partly for this because I didn’t make as much of an effort as I could to arrange the meet up or be enthusiastic when somebody else tried to arrange.



TheEmptyShell
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01 Sep 2024, 5:00 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
TheEmptyShell wrote:
I am struggling. I have no friends to talk to or social events to look forward to. I am tired from having to get up at 6am to go to work. I have faint flicking in my eye because I have to look at a computer all day. What’s there to enjoy anymore? I don’t find my hobbies fun to do. Everything has changed and it makes me very sad. Other people post good news on social media and it makes me sad. I want to leave but then I will be even more alone. I’ve tried finding help but I can’t find any, I want to cry.


Please hold on, life can be rough and sometimes it does not seem worth it, but it really is, LIke even if you don't find a specific purpose you can find a hobby or try and rekindle hobbies you liked before. Or try to find some new perspectives on things Idk it's rough I struggle with long term chronic depression so I know how it feels to wake up everyday wondering if life is even worth living...But it is at the end of the day and it is worth finding at least enough distractions to stay around. Cause idk even if you don't feel it there are likely people who care about you and would be very sad if they found you dead. And well if you should get a chance to enjoy some things to....but I know it is hard with long term depression to truly feel the feeling of enjoyment. Idk I guess I just think its worth it becuase there is so much more I could experience and sometimes something does get me laughing and I suppose I am glad to be around to hear comedians that make me laugh. And also I am an athiest so, therfore I belive this life is the only one I get.


Thank you for your words. What you say about there being more to experience resonates with me. I know I want to experience more, but often I get anxious often about my safety if e.g. I will be in a place I am unfamiliar with. Best wishes to you :heart: