Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

No job means a gf is out of the question?

Page 1 of 7 [ 99 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 7  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,393
Location: Near London United Kingdom

15 Sep 2024, 1:57 pm

I do volunteering but not in paid employment

My parents told me a girlfriend is out of the question unless you have a job. Are they right or not?



Fenn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Sep 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,965
Location: Pennsylvania

15 Sep 2024, 2:29 pm

https://www.amazon.com/Exceptional-Seve ... 1559725052

Read this book


_________________
ADHD-I(diagnosed) ASD-HF(diagnosed)
RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie


TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,917
Location: Hell

15 Sep 2024, 2:32 pm

No, they aren't right. Many unemployed folks and those on disability have partners. It may be a dealbreaker for some people, but it certainly isn't for everyone.



Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,062
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

15 Sep 2024, 2:39 pm

I do not currently have a job but I have a boyfriend

I believe a job only truly matters with marriage because you need to work in order to be stable enough to support children!

In other words, a job only matters when you are MARRIED

Not in the dating stage!! !



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,800
Location: Stendec

15 Sep 2024, 8:11 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
In other words, a job only matters when you are MARRIED
. . . and/or have children.


_________________
 
I have no love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,422
Location: Chez Quis

15 Sep 2024, 8:43 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:

I believe a job only truly matters with marriage because you need to work in order to be stable enough to support children!

In other words, a job only matters when you are MARRIED

Not in the dating stage!! !




That doesn't make sense.

People can have children when dating or even when entirely single.
They can also be married without children, and without wanting children.

People don't need to have jobs to have relationships or to parent.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


bee33
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,645

16 Sep 2024, 1:25 am

I suppose it's true that some women might judge a man for not having a job, but it's by no means universal. It also depends on context. If someone doesn't have a job and just wants to slack off and sponge off other people, that is worse than simply being unemployed, which is something that can happen for any number of reasons.

Personally, I have disabling chronic illness and have been unemployed for most of my life.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

16 Sep 2024, 1:29 am

Not out of the question Jamesy. Just makes things much harder. Especially if you are spending your available cash down at the pub.



ezbzbfcg2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,977
Location: New Jersey, USA

16 Sep 2024, 1:30 am

Jamesy wrote:
I do volunteering but not in paid employment

My parents told me a girlfriend is out of the question unless you have a job. Are they right or not?


It depends on how attractive she finds you. If she's really attracted to you, she'll let you move in with her despite being unemployed. If she's looking for someone passable, then she's looking for someone to settle with, which means that YES, you'd need a job.

FACTS.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,422
Location: Chez Quis

16 Sep 2024, 1:33 am

Some people don't have jobs but they're independently wealthy through old money, etc.
Some don't have jobs because they're disabled.
Some try hard but can't find work.

It's a dog-eat-dog world out there.
I'd focus on if you get along, not how much you make.
Then decide if you can live within your means.

Done.

The only problem is if both people are on SSDI / SSI you can't get married.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


bee33
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,645

16 Sep 2024, 1:34 am

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
I do volunteering but not in paid employment

My parents told me a girlfriend is out of the question unless you have a job. Are they right or not?


It depends on how attractive she finds you. If she's really attracted to you, she'll let you move in with her despite being unemployed. If she's looking for someone passable, then she's looking for someone to settle with, which means that YES, you'd need a job.

FACTS.
Not a fact. Nothing is cut and dried like that in real life. Maybe in movies.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,422
Location: Chez Quis

16 Sep 2024, 1:39 am

The homeless man I lived with wasn't good looking imo, and I wasn't attracted to him physically. He didn't have a dime but also owed .25M in back taxes. I liked him because he lovebombed sweet talked lied to me was nice to my kids. Well, on the surface level anyway. What it devolved into what such a nightmare I couldn't even repeat it here.

Regardless, hell yeah I dated him when he was unemployed and living with his mother as a 40 year old man.
Also when he was homeless.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

16 Sep 2024, 1:52 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
The homeless man I lived with wasn't good looking imo, and I wasn't attracted to him physically. He didn't have a dime but also owed .25M in back taxes. I liked him because he lovebombed sweet talked lied to me was nice to my kids. Well, on the surface level anyway. What it devolved into what such a nightmare I couldn't even repeat it here.

Regardless, hell yeah I dated him when he was unemployed and living with his mother as a 40 year old man.
Also when he was homeless.


Somehow I don't think this knowledge is going to increase Jamesy's chances of getting a gf...



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,422
Location: Chez Quis

16 Sep 2024, 1:55 am

Why not?

The main thing holding him back is his negative self-image based on a belief that he doesn't stand a chance.

It's not money we want, it's nice men.

He should work on being nice (to all people) rather than worrying about jobs.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

16 Sep 2024, 1:57 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Why not?

The main thing holding him back is his negative self-image based on a belief that he doesn't stand a chance.

It's not money we want, it's nice men.

He should work on being nice (to all people) rather than worrying about jobs.


Yeah but at best its just setting his hopes up. the pub is a cruel place for lonely men.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,422
Location: Chez Quis

16 Sep 2024, 1:58 am

That's why we've all told him ad nauseam to stop going to the pub.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles