Independent Living for Adult Son

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My son is 29 years old with autism. He has always lived with us but is fairly independent and high functioning. He has graduated from college, drives, and works fulltime. He has always been fairly isolated but this increased with Covid.

Our plan for independent living was to try living on campus to see how that would go. However, the timing of Covid pretty much shut down this scenario. After graduation, he bounced around with a few different jobs before he found one that sticked. He has worked in a mailroom for over a year and enjoys it.

He wants to live on his own and I support this. I don't know what independent living looks like for him. However, living alone can be very lonely and will just further isolate him. Ideally he would have 1-2 roommates but he has no friends or social relationships.

I am in the position of looking for a roommate. Has anyone ever done anything like this and/or have any thoughts about how to proceed? Would love some input.

Hi and welcome.

Does your son have a girlfriend / boyfriend? I'm assuming not or you would have mentioned it, but that was my first thought on how he could move out with a roommate.

My son is 30 and sounds much the same but he has lots of friends and a longterm partner. He lives at home with me now for financial reasons but he lived on campus for undergrad and grad school with peaks and valleys in his confidence.

Is your son in a position to have a pet? I'm trying to think what would give him good companionship and also get him out of the house (e.g., walking a dog) if he were to live alone.

Has he expressed a desire for a roommate? If not, I wouldn't pursue it.

If he loves dogs, then I agree with Isabella -- A well-behaved, laid-back, lazy dog who looks to humans for leadership, is a great way to socialize with people in small or big spurts (I seriously talk with EVERY neighbor who passes by, walking a dog, lol). My only caution is to *not* get a breed that a lot of people find intimidating. My last dog was huge -- a fluffy, 150-pound teddy bear of an animal whose shoulder came to my hip (and he was small for his breed) -- but most folks were terrified of him. Except children; they loved him.