Lousy Marriage Advice for Women from the Watchtower
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Quote:
ALL Christians come under the perfect headship of Jesus Christ. However, when a Christian woman gets married, she comes under the headship of an imperfect man. That can present a challenge. So when considering a potential marriage mate, she would do well to ask herself: ‘What indication do I have that this brother will be a good family head? Do spiritual activities play an important role in his life? If not, what makes me think that he will be a good spiritual head after we get married?’ Of course, a sister also does well to ask herself: ‘What qualities will I bring to the marriage? Am I patient and generous? Do I have a strong relationship with Jehovah?’
[…]
In what circumstances will a wife not obey her husband?
A submissive Christian wife, however, will not support her husband if he asks her to violate Bible laws or principles. Suppose, for example, that a sister’s unbelieving mate tells her to lie, to steal, or to engage in some other unscriptural conduct. All Christians, including married sisters, owe their first allegiance to Jehovah God. If a sister is asked to violate Bible principles, she should refuse, explaining in a kind but firm way why she cannot do what he is asking.—Acts 5:29.
[…]
In what circumstances will a wife not obey her husband?
A submissive Christian wife, however, will not support her husband if he asks her to violate Bible laws or principles. Suppose, for example, that a sister’s unbelieving mate tells her to lie, to steal, or to engage in some other unscriptural conduct. All Christians, including married sisters, owe their first allegiance to Jehovah God. If a sister is asked to violate Bible principles, she should refuse, explaining in a kind but firm way why she cannot do what he is asking.—Acts 5:29.
https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines ... s-the-Man/
That particular article is from a 2022 study edition of the Watchtower although it’s fairly typical. Study editions are geared towards JWs, not nonbelievers. They usually try to avoid controversial topics like this around people who aren’t already enmeshed in the religion.
Here’s similar BS from a 2015 study edition of the Watchtower:
Quote:
Unselfish, principled love for Jehovah helps all of us to humble ourselves under his mighty hand. (1 Pet. 5:6) One important way that a submissive wife shows respect for Jehovah’s authority is by being cooperative and supportive within the family circle. The Bible says: “You wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as it is becoming in the Lord.” (Col. 3:18) Realistically, not all of a husband’s decisions will be to his wife’s liking. Yet, if his decisions do not conflict with God’s laws, a submissive wife is willing to yield.—1 Pet. 3:1.
https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines ... -marriage/
It’s probably fairly easy to see how this harmful nonsense would further complicate abusive situations and lead to a lot of harm. Domestic violence is a big problem in the religion although it’s not something they recognize or admit to.
On the topic of abuse in marriage, this is from the study edition of a 2012 mind-numbingly stupid Watchtower involving a woman (Selma) who was studying with JWs at the time:
Quote:
Selma recalls a lesson she learned from the Witness who studied with her. “On one particular day,” says Selma, “I didn’t want to have a Bible study. The night before, Steve had hit me as I had tried to prove a point, and I was feeling sad and sorry for myself. After I told the sister what had happened and how I felt, she asked me to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. As I did, I began to reason, ‘Steve never does any of these loving things for me.’ But the sister made me think differently by asking, ‘How many of those acts of love do you show toward your husband?’ My answer was, ‘None, for he is so difficult to live with.’ The sister softly said, ‘Selma, who is trying to be a Christian here? You or Steve?’ Realizing that I needed to adjust my thinking, I prayed to Jehovah to help me be more loving toward Steve. Slowly, things started to change.” After 17 years, Steve accepted the truth.
https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines ... Household/
When I was young, I used to worry about how I would raise a daughter in that environment because I found this stuff repugnant although I thought I was wrong for feeling that way.
They only allow divorce when there’s adultery and this is how they feel about separation:
Quote:
[I]n extreme situations such as the following, some Christians have decided to separate from a marriage mate:
- Willful nonsupport.—1 Timothy 5:8.
- Extreme physical abuse.—Psalm 11:5.
- Absolute endangerment of spiritual life. For example, a spouse might try to force a Witness to break God’s commands in some way, and the threatened mate might decide that a separation is the only way to “obey God as ruler rather than men.”—Acts 5:29.
- Willful nonsupport.—1 Timothy 5:8.
- Extreme physical abuse.—Psalm 11:5.
- Absolute endangerment of spiritual life. For example, a spouse might try to force a Witness to break God’s commands in some way, and the threatened mate might decide that a separation is the only way to “obey God as ruler rather than men.”—Acts 5:29.
https://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesse ... e-jw-view/
Usually, when this topic would come up in sermons, they’d say that the physical abuse has to be so extreme that one’s life is in danger, and once again, that doesn’t entitle one to a divorce, just separation.
Here’s what one of the current leaders (Governing Body member Samuel Herd) had to say about women in a sermon he gave in 1971:
https://youtu.be/M9cGBPvfOYI?si=UHxLWSah98YT63Pw
The transcript:
Quote:
"You know, scientists say that the cranial capacity of a woman is 10% smaller than that of a man so now this shows that she's just not equipped for the role of headship. Her role is one of subjection to the man. Her role is that of submissiveness and that means that she should recognize that she is a woman and be glad to be a woman. Never want to be what you are not equipped to be. ... Sometimes we hear her say, "oh if-if-if-if I-I were a man I'd do this and I'd do that as if to be wishing to be something that she is not designed to be. Do you know what that borders on? That borders on homosexuality. And do you know what the Devil is doing nowadays? He's taking women who want to be men and makes men out of them. ..." The Value of Our Theocratic Sisters" Samuel Herd, Oakland CA 1971
Admittedly, it was from 1971, but sexism (and homophobia) is still very much present in the leadership and the organization as a whole.
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