What happens when you become a teenager

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My son who 11 years old has asperger. I am worried about what happens when he becomes a teenager. Will he have friends, Will he be able to driver a car, Will he have a girlfriend?Does ayone have answers to my questions

Will he have friends? Of course he could, if he makes the effort and finds other people who are like him to hang out with. There are books out there to help teach him the social skill that aspie's don't have naturally.

Will he be able to drive a car? Well, unfortunatly I havent' passed my test yet, but we all find different things difficult. There are aspies who have no trouble driving.

Will he have a girlfriend- no idea, hope so!

To put it this way: it's all possible, but it requires some work. At least you already know he's got it at 11, I wasn't diagnosed until after i was pulled out of school at 14.

Just one thing, at my school bullying didn't get real bad until high school. Be prepared.

here's a bit of hope for you:

Im 22 years old, I have a few friends, i drive, have had girlfriend's in the past., and am going to be graduating college soon. Shove that down with your prozac.

I survived pretty well through the experience. I may not have as many friends as NTs, but I'm pretty happy with the ones I have. Also I don't have a "significant other" but that's simply because I have no desire for one.

In school he may need some extra help, not because he's dumb, but because he's exceptionally smart and he won't undersand why he has do all the meaningless crap he's asked to do, and he'll make it hard for himself. (If you can, you might want to find a magnet middle/high school or an alternative school for him. I only wish I could have had that oppertunity). When he gets into high school, encourage him to get high marks so he can go to Simon's Rock College of Bard so he won't have to deal with high school. (SRC is a highly accredited school for students who want to go to college early, around the age of 15, 16, or 17). SRC is aspie heaven.

He'll find his own way. All of us on this forum survived adolescence.

I wish him the best of luck

I went to a smalltown school, so that may have been an advantage.
I had lots of friends, generally through being in marching band and highschool was not all that bad.
I feel that what helped me the most was not believing that I was disabled or a nerd or any of the labels a kid might get caught in.
I knew from an early age that I was different, but I always viewed it as a strength. As a teenager I revelled in what I saw as my
"freedom from the prison of conformity" Oddly enough I seem to have gleened this attitude from a lot of movies and television shows that promoted individuality.

I'm 22, I have friends, the same friends I had in high school (plus some new ones of course). I can't drive (mainly due to concentration, and freaking out). I did have a girlfriend briefly (she moved interstate).

GA

Be prepared to have him ask you questions relating to his changing body. Then again, he may not care. I know I was not interested in my changing body until I was almost 20.

I did have friends, not alot, but I did still have a few friends. Most aspies as far as I can see are able to drive a car OK. As for having a girlfriend, I didn't want one when I was in high school so it wasn't really a problem for me. Some others had issue with the fact I didn't want one though.

School got to be difficult in terms of socialization for me starting in 8th grade, which was the absolute worst for me. In terms of bullying and harassment, I went through more in 8th grade than I did in 2 years anywhere else.

For me, the years 11-14 were the worst. Suddenly all the rules changed, I was bullied (mainly through exclusion, taunting and humiliation) and ostracised although I did have a couple of friends. Whatever I did to try to be accepted was wrong, and I found it very difficult to work out what made everyone else tick.

As I got older things improved - I went to a different high school to my tormentors, and while I was still clearly an oddball this was less of an issue. By 15/16 I was seeing girls, had a small group of friends to hang out with and passed my driving test at 17. A lot depends on the stresses your son experiences, the things he finds difficult and his resilience - best of luck to him.

Those years weren't easy for me either, with 8th grade, age 13-14, clearly being the worst. That was my one year in public school and some of those kids had to be some of the most brutal I've ever seen. I was tormented day in and day out by them for a variety of reasons or in some cases, no reason. In fact, when I asked one person why they tormented me the response was "you exist."

I went to three different schools during ages 11-14, and found myself tormented at them for a various reasons. During the summer breaks, I was also tormented by my parents and family for another reason which I have talked about here before. It was hard for me to cope during that time period.

When I started high school, I went to a different school than my tormentors too, but that didn't help as there were new tormentors and new reasons to torment me at the new school and don't forget, new reasons to torment me at home.

One thing that might make it easier to cope is knowing home is a safe, supportive place. If the home enviornment can be kept that way, I think it will be easier for him. I know it would have been for me because at one time, my home was a safe place, but that changed and when it did, coping with what was outside became alot more difficult.

I think the years of 11-14 are the worst and it gets a little better after that. Not much, but a little.

I have agree, middle school is the worst place for an aspie. Kids are really mean. I walked out of my last day of 8th grade and knew that I would never look back. I don't have a single happy memory from middle school. Sorry, but it's going to suck for him. He'll get through it.

When he starts thinking about college, he'll be really glad he's an aspie because he'll be smart and unique. Something most colleges really like

'Less you don't go to college and remain a bum like me!

middle school was the worst for me.

I found being a teenager difficult. I didn't know about Asperger's back then. I did have a few friends, people with whom I shared an interest in computer games, wargaming and role-playing. I am sure he will meet people with similar interests to his own, and friendships may well develop.

On a more upbeat note, although I found my teens difficult, life has just got better and better for me as I have gotten older. I have a job which doesn't stress me too much, a degree in a subject that interests me, plenty of good friends (both NT and AS), I live with my partner and we are getting married next year, we plan to have children, I own my apartment, and I have a lot of fun following my interests in my spare time. I don't have a driving license, but that's only because living in London I've never needed to. I can drive, and if I wanted to take my test I would do fine as long as I got enough practice.

Although I find some things more difficult than the average person, if I put enough effort in, I can acheive the things I want. Believing yourself incapable is a good way to fail - I think instilling in your son a sense of self-confidence is one of the most useful things you can do.

middle school was horrible. high school was not as bad, however I went to a school where anyone could get thrown out for anything because it was a catholic school.. so that kept people in line.

In high school I had hope about the future which made things nice. If your soon to be teenager has any interests (computers, rocketry, writing, phsyics, insects, whatever) it will get them through the day and entitle them with a sense of purpose. If, on the other hand, they have no purpose or direction they may not have it as easy - remember, obsessions keep the mind off the 'bad stuff'. But do not fill their head with false ideas. If you do, then you risk them collapsing under all the false hope as it quickly lifts away as they age.

Now in college, I still remember the fear and who knows what else left over from middle school and the false ambitions from high school. At some point I figured out that I would not be able to fulfill the goals I had set due to some of the nasty side stuff that sometimes accompanies AS (the comorbid stuff). I feel crushed due to the lack of positive future.

Remember, do not inflate their future prospects... try to set something reasonable for heaven's sake.