How to understand my non-autistic partner?

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Persephones_conscience
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 8 Nov 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 1
Location: Germany

Today, 9:53 am

Hello everyone,

This is my first day on this platform. I haven't had the diagnosis for long (not Asperger's, but still on the spectrum) and would like to learn how you have learnt, if you have learnt to have a healthy relationship with neurotypical or non-neurodivergent people.

Whether romantic or platonic. I've always enjoyed psychology, I know a lot, I'm good at deciphering behavioural patterns, but I don't know much about emotions.

Does anyone have any tips on how to ‘rethink’? Example:

My partner has diagnosed depression and ADHD treated with medication. He regularly forgets that I exist because he can't relate to me at times. That wouldn't happen to me in a thousand years and is, in my opinion, atypical for ADHD, although not impossible. I want to understand how this works so that I don't perceive it as rejection.

It's exactly the same with my best friend.

How do you deal with it? How would you ask about it? I'm not good at not asking such questions in a reproachful way.



Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,157
Location: New York City (Queens)

50 minutes ago

Hi! Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I'm a little confused by the following:

Persephones_conscience wrote:
I haven't had the diagnosis for long (not Asperger's, but still on the spectrum) and would like to learn how you have learnt, if you have learnt to have a healthy relationship with neurotypical or non-neurodivergent people.

But you also wrote:

Persephones_conscience wrote:
Example:

My partner has diagnosed depression and ADHD treated with medication. He regularly forgets that I exist because he can't relate to me at times. That wouldn't happen to me in a thousand years and is, in my opinion, atypical for ADHD, although not impossible. I want to understand how this works so that I don't perceive it as rejection.

ADHD is within the category "neurodivergent," NOT within the category "neurotypical or non-neurodivergent."

Is "neurotypical or non-neurodivergent" a typo? Did you mean to say "neurotypical or neurodivergent"?

Also, are you sure your partner is in fact "Non-Autistic?" Has he been evaluated for autism? I ask because you say he has a behavior similar to your own that you say is "atypical for ADHD."


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