Heightism

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Heightism is a form of discrimination based on height.

i am now a guy 25 yrs old and 5"3' , it s obviously that my height is way under height average for men of my generation in Lebanon, I was even much shorter when i was kid due to some long health problems from birth .

At first i didn't care about my short height as i had other health concerns even if i passed some painful moments in the childhood classes because of this , most male children didn't stop to remind me how short i am by saying "kazam" , " zmek" in every occasion ....and most of male chidren thought i am defendless and weak when they see me at first time and try to bully me even in gangs but i learnt later how to deal with such rude persons , you know how male children can be mean sometimes to each others . Also i talked till age 5 since i am HFA and i was always a quiet child and i always had bad sense of understanding ppl ....this didn't help me a lot either.

As for female children were not as so aggressive even if they were sometimes sarcastic abt my height in rare occasions.

In later classes i could bypass the problem as i managed to make real friends who would stand for me even if sometimes they joke abt my height and think that i am less mature than them .....but well.... i got used to this ( if i would hit every1 who makes fun of my height i wouldn't have almost any friend) , in sports i am always the last to be picked up by friends for a basketball or volley team ( although i admit that i was always a bad player in ball games but my height) but i was the first one they ran to when they need help in some homeworks.

Then later this issue didn't really bothered me later....until later in high school when you know all of u ...guys start to date girls ...and so on. I can remember well that i was rejected twice by two girls during high school ( and they were short too almost of my height and even one of them were shorter slightly) ... what s really amazing that both of them rejected me for same reason and they said : " you r kinda nice ....but i prefer taller guys " , the other : " i prefer someone ....much taller than me " .
In dance parties i got similar comments when i asked female friends ,the comments were worst from tall girls tho i wasn't always rejected for a dance . I admit that i was extremly shy and clueless too so this didn't help me too .

Don't think me wrong i am not accusing that all girls are so shallow but it seem that a great portion of them really care abt mate's height as first impression more than anything else .
I wasn't always lonely tho ....i dated much shorter girl later for a year but then she broke up for other reasons( different sects reason, her parents foced her....)

later in the university i dated a girl abt 5" 4' i think so slightly me taller and with heels well.....it makes some difference . When we were alone it s all go fine we were great couple and she didn't seem to care abt my height and she really loved me .... but when we go out in public things are different , some people don't stop to criticize in many occasion even her girl friend told her that she should date a taller one in front of me , even her sister said once : "what would the height of ur children if u marry him? " ....even some of "friends" in the university told me : "how u date someone taller? " in a upset way as if i stole something from them........besides the comments from strangers when we go out.

my gf started to feel uncomfortable abt this ...and she admited that she wishs if i was much taller.. ...and so later the relationship was ruined as she couldn't stand all this public pressure . Maybe this was just an excuse ! who knows? maybe there was other reasons that i didn't figure out but in all cases taking my height as an 'excuse' for break up was an ugly discrimination anyways .

After this incident i will be a liar if i am say that i am not worry abt my height and abt how people judge becoz of it specially from the opposite sex.

i googled abt this subject and it seems this situation is very common for the short guys , many shorts in the world complaining abt such discrimination in the society and i realised in first time of my life that "Shortness" cause kinda of discrimination at school , work , relationships .... (like against black people ) . I joined a supporter forum for short ppl .

i noticed also that most of female posters from different races from all sizes ( from 4'10 to 6') in the forums seem to share negative attitude toward short guys , the say like " short men are complex like Napoleon ", "tall men are more gentle than shorts ", " i prefer only 6 feet and up" , "short guy cant protect me " , " i have nothing against shorts but i would never date them ". , " i dream in a tall dark guy not in a midget " .......and tons of such comments that it will take pages . At the university many of my female friends boast that they like tall guys and never short ones in many occasions.

I just remembered that issue because i got a couple of silly comments about my height lately and yesterday I heard a co-worker insulting other co-worker by 'this shrimp half-man" in front of me , although this 'shrimp half-man' has about the same height of me so I felt that the insult is directed to every1 short like me .

Have you ever been victim of heightism or any other form of appearance-based discrimination and how this affected your life and your romance life?

This heightism is dumb.

I'm only 5'11 which is pretty short compared to other guys my age, so I can kind of relate. Obviously I don't have to put up with the same level of stuff you do, but it's definitely relevant to me that we live in a biased world.

The height thing stems from primitive intimidation factor. In modern times, however, this is completely irrelevant. Intelligence and demeanor are much more intimidating in our modern, more communication-based world. With the right attitude you can reverse the effects of your stature.

On a side note, I had to laugh when you mentioned that "kazam" is an insult intended for short people in Lebanon. In America, kazam is a really crappy movie starring Shaqueille O'Neal, who is like 7 and a half feet tall.

Man, where is 5'11" short? I thought about 5'9" was average in America.

I have experienced this discrimination, and I'm just under 5'7". It's very common where I live for men to be 6 feet tall. I read your entire post, and I know exactly what you're talking about. It's a kind of discrimination that, at least in my country, is rarely talked about. Like I said in another thread, there are just no women who say or think, "Ya know, what I really want is a short guy." No, they ALL want tall guys. That preference must be genetic. I don't blame them for that preference, but it would be nice if just some women wanted shorter guys than 6-feet. But none do.

Since it really is such a big issue in society, have you ever considered elevator shoes? They are shoes designed to boost your effective height several inches when wearing them. They used to look funny, but wow, I was really impressed with how they have improved the appearance design. Check this out: http://www.increasingshoes.com/?source=overture&OVRAW=elevator%20shoes&OVKEY=elevator%20shoes&OVMTC=standard&OVADID=1360881012&OVKWID=9957778012

I am not just suggesting them for you -- I myself thought about getting some about a week ago! I just was very curious as to how society would greet me if I were 3 inches taller. I probably won't actually buy any, since I am secure enough about my height, and also I'm not looking for a woman. But I'd love to try wearing a pair some day, just for the experience of being taller.

EDIT: Okay, one type of elevator shoe appeals to me. It adds 2.75 inches:


I'm being tempted to impulse buy them... I will make myself wait a while to be sure. Tall people just don't understand what short people go through, with people looking over our heads, or not even seeing us at all, not to mention deliberately ignoring us, etc. It might sound kind of silly, but I bet I would actually feel pretty terrific wearing those shoes. The reason is that society makes SUCH a big deal about height -- in many little ways that all add up -- that I would no doubt be treated better wearing these. And they don't even cost more than normal shoes!

...I'll think about it...

FURTHER EDIT:
Okay, I've thought about it, and went ahead and bought them. They should arrive in a week. And I just thought of a bonus to getting these shoes: my pants will finally fit right. (The legs will never touch the floor, as often happens currently.) See, I have a tall man's torso, but short legs, so that no one seems to make jeans, or slacks, short enough for me. Most of my pairs of jeans are 2 inches too long for me, and the bottoms of their legs crumple over my shoes majorly, and occassionally my heels tread on them. But now, with these elevator shoes, that problem will be solved, and I won't have to try two or three different stores to find pants approximately short enough . And I'll look more proportional over all, because my short legs will look longer, thus matching my long torso better.
We short people appreciate the little things in life. (har har har)

Personally I am not bothered about the height of guys, I have always been quite taken by a man about the same height as me, I am 5'3.
Most NT's try to maintain a 'cool' image, which involves being heavily influenced by other people.
I have a very tall female friend who has trouble getting dates as most men feel intimidated by her height. Can't win really.

Oh, and LePetitPrince, don't feel bad -- my grandfather was also 5'3".

im still infatuated with my shorty

I will walk right up to a girl and if she gives me that "who's this shorty think he is?" expression.
I will pull out my wallet and stand on it.
That usually makes them forget how short I am.

hmm I won't feel right wearing shoes like this , it 's silly and these shoes promote discrimination . . Wearing these shoes would just show that I feel insecure about my height . I think girls wear heels for that reason tho .

The problem is not in height but in the people 's attitude toward 'unusual' heights (ie. short guys , very tall girls). This reminds me of the Growth Hormones Treatment issue .

Read this interesting part:

I think very tall people also have this problem

Hyperbolic is right.
What exactly is this heightism anyway?

Le Petit,
I can relate to this as well.
I'm 5'10'' & most girls that I encounter think I'm well over 6' just because they think I am.

Okay, I received the shoes... and am very satisfied with them. I can't believe how much they look like totally regular hightops. More realistic than I was expecting:



And they're more comfortable than my brand new New Balance tennis shoes, because of their extra-thick rubber soles. They've boosted my shoed height 2 inches, to 5' 9.5". I'm going to wear them to work tomorrow, and see what reactions I get. (My office started allowing tennis shoes and casual clothes every day, about a year ago. Ya... it's nice. ) There are only 3 employees at my office besides me -- all women.

Again, I didn't want to be tall, just average height for a change.