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Crush does not care

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Jamesy
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10 Nov 2024, 1:52 am

I am friends with this couple. He's 26 and his girlfriend is 21.

I have a huge crush on my mates gf. I confided in some of my friends about this last night and they said things to me like "she's not interested", "you don't stand a chance" and "she probably does not give a s**t about you"

Do you think my friends make good points or are they trying to put me down?



Rhapsody
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10 Nov 2024, 2:06 am

I think your friends are trying to protect you Jamesy, and I hope you heed their advice.

This is a woman you know is already in a relationship and where you're friends with her boyfriend. There is no way in which pursuing her will end well for you. At best you just get rejected. At worst you end up losing an entire friend group in the fallout if they cause drama. People can be cruel.

It sucks. It's an awful situation to be in, and I'm so sorry you're in this predicament. Your best bet is to forget about her and move on to more attainable, preferably single women. I wish you luck! :heart:



Jamesy
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10 Nov 2024, 2:08 am

Rhapsody wrote:
I think your friends are trying to protect you Jamesy, and I hope you heed their advice.

This is a woman you know is already in a relationship and where you're friends with her boyfriend. There is no way in which pursuing her will end well for you. At best you just get rejected. At worst you end up losing an entire friend group in the fallout if they cause drama. People can be cruel.

It sucks. It's an awful situation to be in, and I'm so sorry you're in this predicament. Your best bet is to forget about her and move on to more attainable, preferably single women. I wish you luck! :heart:



Do you most likely she doesn't give a s**t about me? I was drunk when I confided in them



Rhapsody
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10 Nov 2024, 2:26 am

Jamesy wrote:
Do you most likely she doesn't give a s**t about me? I was drunk when I confided in them

If she's your friend, I'm sure she cares about you. However there are vast oceans between caring about someone as a friend and being willing to leave your boyfriend for them. It is something I would suggest you not entertain. Maybe you can ask if she has any single friends instead?



Jamesy
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10 Nov 2024, 5:49 am

Rhapsody wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Do you most likely she doesn't give a s**t about me? I was drunk when I confided in them

If she's your friend, I'm sure she cares about you. However there are vast oceans between caring about someone as a friend and being willing to leave your boyfriend for them. It is something I would suggest you not entertain. Maybe you can ask if she has any single friends instead?



Someone at the party said bluntly "you dont stand a chance"



funeralxempire
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10 Nov 2024, 8:59 am

Jamesy wrote:
Rhapsody wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Do you most likely she doesn't give a s**t about me? I was drunk when I confided in them

If she's your friend, I'm sure she cares about you. However there are vast oceans between caring about someone as a friend and being willing to leave your boyfriend for them. It is something I would suggest you not entertain. Maybe you can ask if she has any single friends instead?



Someone at the party said bluntly "you dont stand a chance"


And they're likely right. You're much more likely to ruin things for yourself socially than end up dating her.


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BTDT
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10 Nov 2024, 9:20 am

If you are an adult on the Spectrum it is very hard to find new friends.
I agree that there is no way that this will end well if you try to get her to leave her boyfriend.
Much better to keep the friends you have.



DuckHairback
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10 Nov 2024, 9:38 am

Nothing good can come of this Jamesy. If he's really your mate that should be your first consideration. What she does and doesn't think about you is secondary to that.


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10 Nov 2024, 9:40 am

Some people are off limits and I think this woman is one such person


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Pink Zeppelin
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10 Nov 2024, 9:54 am

Let's say that you do manage to poach her from your friend. She has just proven that she will dump a current relationship when a better option comes along. So, she would most likely do that to you also.

I agree, it sucks to be infatuated with someone who is already taken. Been there, done that (except for getting in a relationship with that person). Just need to move on and find someone available, as difficult as that may be, or just wait for their relationship to end, if it does.



Jamesy
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10 Nov 2024, 10:30 am

DuckHairback wrote:
Nothing good can come of this Jamesy. If he's really your mate that should be your first consideration. What she does and doesn't think about you is secondary to that.




If she's my friend she must care about me a bit



blitzkrieg
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10 Nov 2024, 11:13 am

You need to find a healthier alternative to wanting to be with the girlfriend of your friend.



Jamesy
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10 Nov 2024, 11:31 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
You need to find a healthier alternative to wanting to be with the girlfriend of your friend.



Do you think most likely she doesn't care about me



babybird
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10 Nov 2024, 11:45 am

I don't think she cares about you in the way you would like her to


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Jamesy
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10 Nov 2024, 11:46 am

babybird wrote:
I don't think she cares about you in the way you would like her to



Why would that be?



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10 Nov 2024, 11:47 am

Because she’s in a relationship with someone else.


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