Worried I'm taking too long figuring out on being Me

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I've heard people telling others to work on themselves more before they even consider dating someone as a person is not going to be attracted to someone who isn't confident and positive in themselves. People have told me in a similar way but for some reason I feel "bad" for being over 30 and still trying to figure out and appreciate myself when it seems as though everyone else probably figured out themselves more in their 20s and that I should have done it by now.

I'm still figuring it out and I'm in my 50s..

Same here

Not to worry many people take all their lives figuring stuff out . Putting yourself out there , where more opportunities may exist , might give you some extra direction in figuring you out . Often people will meet significant others or even just friends while doing other things completely not related to what they are trying for .... Then if you can manage a friendly outlook , it may pay big dividends in developing associations . And at the same time , you may learn about yourself , regarding feedback in situations and people , You can learn stuff from all your experiences.bad and good .
Ghosted or from a ongoing friendship or relationship. Be observant , and smile more than you need to.. perhaps
this may give you more mileage in learning from both , introspection type stuff .As well as your own expectations of others .And or disappointments, regarding both things.