Reframing Values through Adlerian Thought

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I want to share some thoughts from psychologist Alfred Adler, which have been very helpful to me.

Adler believed that humans are naturally inclined to contribute to society and are social beings. This idea aligns with the Christian spirit of love and cooperation and is consistent with the communist pursuit of equality and common good. He also emphasized that everyone has an inner drive to strive for superiority, which motivates personal growth and progress.

Adler emphasized that psychological trauma does not exist, and life is entirely shaped by our choices. Humans are conscious beings, and as long as we are willing, we can take control of our lives. Even in the face of difficulties, we can reshape our direction and achieve growth by making plans and taking proactive action.

Adler also stressed that the idea that emotions control behavior is a lie. Humans create emotions to explain their behaviors. By changing our thoughts, we can adjust our mindset, which in turn changes our behavior patterns.

I recommend a few books through which I encountered Adler’s ideas:

The Courage to Be Disliked
The Courage to Be Happy
Understanding Human Nature

I learned Adler’s thoughts through audiobooks, and I recommend this approach to others as well.

Adler’s ideas are highly compatible with the needs of our autism community. His methods help us better understand ourselves, clarify the division of responsibilities in social interactions, establish effective social models, and overcome feelings of inferiority. I believe these are particularly important for friends with autism.

There is some of it I respectfully disagree with, in Adler's thought.

Psychological trauma is a very real thing, and it would be painfully ignorant and irresponsible to deny its existence. There are events that impact the human psyche in ways that cause very real damage - and while it is possible for therapy to aid them in getting through life with those scars, it is by no means reasonable to suggest that Choice can reshape one's reality to the point of healing/preventing that kind of sometimes-irreparable damage.



While I can see there being truth to most of this, there is another undeniable facet of reality that many people try not to think about, despite it invariably being there: sometimes you can make all the right choices, do all the right things at all the right times - and still never reach your desired mark. While I don't think it was Adler's intention in this quote, I do feel that its wording is attempting to oversimplify things that are not quite that simple.



Emotions "control" behavior? Of course not. Emotions "influencing" one's mindset which, in effect, will affect one's behaviors? Yes. What Adler is saying here is not necessarily WRONG, but it - again - is trying to oversimplify what is not that simple. That very last sentence ("By changing our thoughts...") is the goal of most therapeutic solutions and is something that can at least have a marginal (though not an absolute) affecting change on our mindsets, and by proxy, behaviors. It is a very long process of someone trying to re-condition their mind into better patterns than it previously had, and that can take years if not an entire lifetime to make progress in (depending on how deeply-rooted the original patterns were).

One common trap that many self-help gurus set (I'd like to think they do so unwittingly, but I tend to want to jump to the innocent explanation first) is by making complicated matters feel glaringly simple and easy. The truth is that we only understand the human mind to an extent - and while the desire to help others heal and pick up better habits is a noble cause, it can inadvertently cause problems if it is not handled in a responsible manner.