developmental delay experience

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so i'm on the spectrum, but i grew up with some kind of separate undiagnosable developmental disability. i was always behind socially and cognitively. in my 20's i could barely function as a person, couldn't process information or hold down a basic job or make any good decisions about anything. but there was a gradual steady improvement as i got older and around 30 my brain finally 'caught up' and now i'm completely normal and everything's fine, and my life is great. occasionally i'll do something short sighted that feels connected to what i had, but it's always little insignificant things -- nothing that affects my life on any real level.

the way i described it to my therapist is that there was a fog in my brain and i just had to wait for it to clear up. even at my lowest point i knew intuitively it was improving and it would get better at some point. my therapist doesn't really have an answer, except that some people's brains grow at a slower pace, and maybe there was a delay but there's no real medical term for it. i had another therapist tell me i'd probably never get an answer, and i just have to accept that.

i feel like with 'developmental disabilities', that term usually describes someone who starts off cognitively behind, and while there might be improvements, it usually lasts their whole life, and it doesn't just disappear completely. i'm just wondering if there are other examples of this with other people or if there's any literature about it. it's frustrating because i feel like i'm completely alone in this and i've never heard of it happening to anyone else. i am on the spectrum, but i don't feel like that explains how there was literally a delay with my intelligence and then it just caught up.

^ This is like when something goes wrong with somebody's computer, and I fix it, and they want to know why it went wrong in the first place. That gets into forensics and a lot of the evidence has already disappeared by the time it is fixed.

With you, as noted you have changed, therefore the conditions that were inhibiting development may not even be present in any detectable traces.

I would focus on the future rather than the past, as that is more productive. There are many mysteries in life, that is just part of the deal getting born into this world.

You're right. I just wish I knew just one example of someone else going through what I did. It would make me feel less alone.

I had a similar experience regarding maturity. Although the ID was not part of it, I think childhood trauma, especially very early trauma, contributed to my lack of ability to function. At age 30 I was mentally/emotionally probably around 12 to 14 years old as far as maturity is concerned.

As an actual 12 to 17 year old I had "failure to thrive". I did not grow or put on weight. At age 17 I was 89 pounds and wore child's size 3 shoes.

I give credit(blame) to my autism (and the autism in other family members) plus mental illness and alcoholism in my family unit. I did not start to grow emotionally or mentally until I was around 30 and I got counseling and therapy.
Of course the ways I learned to behave/thought patterns in my growing up years were all very unhealthy and dysfunctional. But they probably saved my life at the time. See "fight,flight, freeze, fawn(appeasement) as responses to trauma to learn more.

Once I was able to learn healthy communication, ( I got therapy as an adult age 30) healthy choices in behavior and decision making, how to set boundaries and keep them etc. (which were all things healthy families use and teach in the home) I caught up by leaps and bounds. It was so freeing.
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I did not learn about my autism until late in life at age 68, but it sure explained all those painful "whys" of the past.
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When we are traumatized and abused or stuck in unhealthy patterns when we grow up, we just don't have the tools we need for living as an adult. We can give ourselves huge credit for being survivors, and if we are lucky (like I am and it sounds like you are too) eventually come out of a period of being "lost" and find our way to a better and healthier life.
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I am 73, I had the fortune to find a good therapist at age 30, who helped explain new ways to me. I would have been dead in a gutter somewhere long ago if I had not got therapy. It saved my life and my sanity. I believe if I could do it, almost anybody can. Stay healthy.