Why are less people getting married?

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What is the main root cause of the decline of marriage in the U.S?

Has the idea become too risky and high-stakes for people?

Or they cannot afford the cost of a wedding, honeymoon and eventually...children?

What do you guys think?

For me, it would be a combination of the following:

1. Conservatives believing marriage should be a prerequisite for sex.

2. All the legal stuff involved (pre-nups, who gets what if divorce happens, etc)

3. Like you said, the cost of a wedding, honeymoon, etc.

not adequate finances.....Love can be a fleeting thing..? ...divorce rates ..etc.

I don’t know if it’s the main reason, but fewer people are religious. There’s a lot less social pressure on people to get married. In the past, living together outside of marriage was frowned upon. It still is by some, but I think fewer people feel like it’s something they must do even if they aren’t really keen on the idea.

It's only been 35 years...she's not sure I'm "the one" yet

Maybe people just don't fancy getting trapped for life

You could think of marriage as voluntarily signing up for slavery and imprisoning yourself

Or you could think of it like a 24/7 idyllic paradise which is unrealistic!

In reality, marriage is a combination of both

Some days you feel like a slave and in a prison of your own making as a result of the partner you chose

Other days I think would be closer to that "idyllic paradise" I mentioned

Perhaps people are getting smart & realizing what marriage actually IS and they do not want the hard work of having to date, establish a romantic relationship then getting married or co-habitate without marriage and have to maintain the relationship!! !

Plus there is the messy process of divorce too...

This I believe is the main root cause of the decline of marriage

It really is hard!

Last edited by Mikurotoro92 on 31 Dec 2024, 10:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The only reason left for people to get married is to have the experience of a wedding and honeymoon

That is the main reason I am doing it

There just is no other incentive for marriage anymore!

Marriage does make it easier to raise children in a stable environment but you can still achieve that with co-habitation, if you have a good job

I have both friends who are married & co-habitating (without marriage) so I know what I'm talking about

Marriage and freedom are in conflict.

Exactly my point

The very concept of marriage conflicts with personal autonomy and independance!! !

Having to be around another person for almost every day and you can't even go anywhere without having to check-in with your partner!

I already get enough clinginess from my brother right now as it is, I don't want that cycle to repeat in a long-term romantic relationship like marriage!

Also, all the arguments too

This is a major part about why I am having ambivalance and reservations about getting married

It has nothing to do with David




EDIT: At least co-habitation offers an easy way out if things were to go south with your partner

Which is probably why that living configuration sounds more appealing to people than marriage!

Again, it is the wedding and honeymoon that is the impetus or catalyst for people getting married these days

Last edited by Mikurotoro92 on 31 Dec 2024, 11:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You can have a honeymoon (or its equivalent) without getting married. A honeymoon is essentially a romantic vacation celebrating your commitment as a couple.

Sometimes couples on certain benefits (SSI especially, I think) choose not to get married because doing so would cut their benefits. I’m not sure if that would be applicable to you and David, but it might be something to look into.

That is true but I do want a wedding so I can feel like a celebrity or model or princess for one day

I just have to be careful and cautious about all the legal ramifications of the marriage contract

Which is why I am not rushing into this!

As for losing my benefits, David and I will just get jobs while married or we will co-habitate instead

Disclaimer: My education and training in this sphere applies only to the United States.

Sociologically speaking, marriage rates are falling because people (who are rational beings and respond to rewards/punishments) have fewer social/cultural/financial incentives to marry and stay married.

No-fault divorce laws profoundly changed the landscape of marriage in the US. It used to be difficult to marry and near-impossible to divorce, then it became easy to marry and difficult to divorce, and finally, it became very easy to marry and easy to divorce. Americans slowly transitioned from traditional monogamy (one spouse until death) to serial monogamy (one spouse at a time), and are now on track to not practice monogamy at all.

Easier access to divorce (and child support payments) results in a greater number of failed marriages. Shorter periods of courtship, premarital cohabitation, fewer children, having divorced parents themselves, marrying someone of a different religion, having severe educational differences, etc., all individually correlate (*correlation is not causation*) with an increase in divorce risk. When these factors are aggregated, successful marriage rates plummet.

Is it possible to have a successful marriage, despite having all of the above risk factors? Yes, on a micro/individual scale, it certainly is. But when we look at the macro-level data, it all points to an increase in marriage failure rates. When entire generations have witnessed astronomical marital failure, they are logically hesitant to marry. We most readily see that play out in the increase in premarital cohabitation (which, counterintuitively, social scientists have known for decades is correlated with divorce), as well as the delay of first marriages into the 30s and beyond.

All of this was established well before the advent of technology/the internet in courtship/dating (not to mention easier access to behaviors associated with marital infidelity). I suspect that single factor holds significant power in accelerating the decline of marriage, but this is pure speculation on my part; my formal studies largely concluded in the early 2000s.

I put right in my profile on OKCupid that I am not looking for marriage. "Never again" is my policy. I simply cannot afford another divorce, they are extremely costly in the modern era. The spouse may commit adultery but nevertheless get half, and lawyers charge $300 an hour and up. And I have to tell you that lawyers are not super efficient, they leave papers scattered all over their disorganized junkpile offices and half of those hours will be wasted searching for forms and papers. So if you think a lawyerly task should take 30 minutes, think again. It will take 3 hours, at $300 an hour.

I think that marriage is for folks that do not understand the financial and legal implications, same situation as for having children.

Now the situation may be different outside of the U.S., I am only familiar with my country. I believe that no one should ever get married under any circumstances today.

Some of it may have to do with increasing numbers of women not needing men in their lives to "complete" their identities or to provide their basic necessities of life (i.e., food, clothing, shelter, medical care, et cetera); especially for those women who have earned professional degrees from universities.

Another reason may be the knowledge that, when it comes to marriage, there is no "Happily forever after" -- if, for example, 47% of all marriages end in divorce, it means that 53% of all marriages end the death of one or both spouses.

Still another reason may be that for some men, the fear of raising another man's child (knowingly or unknowingly) makes bachelorhood more preferable than marriage.

I think the situation in Europe is different from the US. People in Europe are simply not marrying.

In the US, most people seem to desire marriage. Members of my wife's family have generally gotten married and most have had children. It's my impression that Americans in general want to get married unlike Europeans. The people who aren't getting married are probably discouraged by socioeconomic factors. In particular, if they get government benefits, it might be advantageous for them to stay single.

BTW I think Fnord raised some valid points as well.