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So I have male teen twins, one ASD the other ADHD.....
This has being brewing for over a week, barely felt like cooking over Xmas due to mess and that he won't help and I'm sick of it, I'm even now left cleaning whatever dog rips up and its mess daily. And I don't like dog it comes in my room, barks out window at everyone going past and woke me up whilst afternoon nap.

So he left roof for a bit, I just leave keys out as I just fumigated after spider bite Nd the last time rained the ceiling board got wet. This is same as father can't appreciate anything or have understanding of cost and my health spraying or these ADHD types never do dirty work.

Nd insults family members, we all hate him, he can get so rude it's unbelievable. Scream at him cause he takes other people's left over food out fridge and eats it, just all around that he makes me so unhappy as parent. The refusal to homeschool for last 6 months I just wishing to send him to other family but have hard time explaining I'm only keeping my son with ASD as he's quiet, if it's acceptable to base custody on neuro-diversity as it easier for parent to relate. How do I say this I can't keep him or relate, exhausted my patience, triggers meltdowns. This is what I think is roundup problem, is created different cognitive problems, and father I reckon had ADHD Nd there were days I could have killed him, fights endless. It's a huge problem. With others with autism it's at least relatable, I'm not sure if others can understand how not to mix these two opposites,

The support group for ADHD is slow, few members, no replies so I've being screaming loud enough for neighbours to hear, hr causes my meltdowns. Just having a depressive bout that has accumulated over a while, advice welcome.

Is your son receiving any services for his ADHD? I’m not sure what is available in your area or of the costs involved.

Some things that have proven helpful with my own son: When he was younger, he was in play therapy, had a behavioral specialist, and did horse therapy. Eventually, he graduated out of these and other services and doesn’t need them although I’d like to get him back into horseback riding for fun when I can afford it. He also takes ADHD medication. We both think it’s right for him. If he didn’t think it was working or didn’t like it, I wouldn’t have him take it or we would try something else. All of that stuff made a huge difference. He’s about to turn 14, and I haven’t needed to discipline him in years. For us, the combination of therapies and medication were particularly helpful. Working with the behavioral therapist and my own counselor helped me improve my approach which made a big difference on his behavior as well.

There were times when he was younger where I decided to give myself timeouts to avoid losing my cool with him when I got frustrated. You can’t always do that as a parent, but it’s something that can help sometimes. Screaming at kids is not appropriate. Negative interactions can lead to more defiance. Positive interactions can lead to better behavior. My son and I always enjoyed doing specific things together like reading books, going on walks, and playing video games. Stuff like that really helped when we were going through challenging times when he was younger. It still does, actually. Bonding and feeling loved are so important.

It’s very easy for stress to impair parent/child relationships, and the impaired relationship can lead to more problematic behavior. It becomes a vicious cycle that’s not good for anyone. Working on something like that with a counselor could be a good idea. Looking for things to reward and praise can help, too. Sometimes parents get so frustrated with their kids, they only see the negatives which makes kids think: “If they don’t notice the things I do when I’m good, why bother trying?”

It’s especially frustrating for kids to be disciplined or yelled at for stuff they can’t entirely control. When I say that I’m referring to ADHD behavior rather than defiance although harsh responses to ADHD behavior (or anything else for that matter) can lead to defiance.