03 Jan 2025, 12:42 am
I really want to have hope for 2025 but well I honestly just don't. It seems ever since 2019 my life has been a repeating cycle of depression, toxic job, getting groomed, (I am taking a break from dating for now) and family abuse.
I don't want to give up though. If I ever learn to drive, I can finally be free at last. Also, it's my ticket to get out of my sh***y job.
My all-time favorite anime "Puella Magi Madoka Magica" and "Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid" are receiving theatrical films and those anime in my personal opinion are masterpieces. Those franchises gave me comfort. I have collections dedicated to my favorite characters Homura Akemi and Kanna Kamui from their respective source material.
Anyways, I really want to see those movies on the big screen and that should be my motivation to learn how to drive. I'm a slow learner and honestly I haven't been caught up with my notes for the permit test yet.
I am getting back into drawing which sort of gave me meaning in my life. I took a long break from art due to art block and occupied with adulting. Now I am less fearful to "screw up" in my sketchbook and just do it. My skills are kinda rough however I am seeing some improvement here and there.
Eventually I want to learn how to code. One of my planned careers is to become a freelance web developer. This sounds stupid but I dream of having my business in Japan. I love the culture and media to the point I am trying to study Japanese despite my little free time.
Well, I guess that's all I have to say about my life and goals. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Right now I am lonely and having an early-life crisis. It feels good to write down how I feel. I really hope there is a silver lining in the future. 
Gentleman Argentum
Veteran
Joined: 24 Aug 2019
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 970
Location: State of Euphoria
03 Jan 2025, 12:57 am
I don't want to give up though. If I ever learn to drive, I can finally be free at last. Also, it's my ticket to get out of my sh***y job.
My all-time favorite anime "Puella Magi Madoka Magica" and "Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid" are receiving theatrical films and those anime in my personal opinion are masterpieces. Those franchises gave me comfort. I have collections dedicated to my favorite characters Homura Akemi and Kanna Kamui from their respective source material.
Anyways, I really want to see those movies on the big screen and that should be my motivation to learn how to drive. I'm a slow learner and honestly I haven't been caught up with my notes for the permit test yet.
I am getting back into drawing which sort of gave me meaning in my life. I took a long break from art due to art block and occupied with adulting. Now I am less fearful to "screw up" in my sketchbook and just do it. My skills are kinda rough however I am seeing some improvement here and there.
Eventually I want to learn how to code. One of my planned careers is to become a freelance web developer. This sounds stupid but I dream of having my business in Japan. I love the culture and media to the point I am trying to study Japanese despite my little free time.
Well, I guess that's all I have to say about my life and goals. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Right now I am lonely and having an early-life crisis. It feels good to write down how I feel. I really hope there is a silver lining in the future.
I admire Japanese anime as well, there is a lot of innovation that they offer in the "cartoon" space. I collected about a dozen top-rated anime films and plan to watch them some day.
A good job really can be life-transforming, I hope that you find one. There are unfortunately a lot of toxic jobs out there, I have been in them myself.
If you wait long enough, you may not need to learn to drive. I hope that self-driving cars become prevalent in the world to put a cork on all these drunk and distracted drivers.
I felt depressed this morning too, lying in bed thinking about all the dates I have been on, the graveyard of former acquaintances that found some fault with which they could not abide and said adieu. A part of me thinks, "Why even bother?" Indeed, I would prefer to be an system on a computer. Perhaps humans are destined to be replaced by computers, or perhaps we will end our organic existence to reside on computers.
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