Feel stuck/lack of progress? Unrealistic expectations?

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I am not seeing the changes in my life I expect.
I want to sell my dramatic comedy tv pilot and earn a tidy sum for it.
I've had it in my mind for a long time that I can earn 6 or 7 figures for it.
That would change my life completely.
You can read it if you wish (10-15 min read) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ey1ecVZ1nUdehupyj7nkRxiJcoh1DZsx/view?usp=sharing
Has placed in a screenwriting contest and received positive reviews.

I don't see any results or even meaningful leads. I market the script online.
I've been to Los Angeles & NYC. I have no representation. I represent myself.
I have contacted 100s of agents.

Basically, I have it made up in my mind that I expect a certain outcome and not obtaining the outcome
can be depressing.

I've also thought that I should consider something else. Expanding my Youtube channel or writing something else.
Maybe a self help book? Not sure.I have had my script for over 10 years and haven't earned a penny.

I'm also a musician. Here's an example of my playing recently:


Considering the fact I don't have an instrument to practice on, I think it's not bad. I also haven't played music for a living since I was 27-28. I'm 40 now.
I even shared my playing with a semi-famous celebrity and she said something nice
https://imgur.com/a/e6t7SM8

I'd date her but she's a millionaire. (and taken at the moment) I'm not a millionaire.
Completely different lifestyles. Millionaires don't date poor people.

I have always dreamed of living in NYC, earning income from being a producer/writer with my tv show
and playing music on the side.

Finally I really have very little motivation to play music these days. As I said I don't own an instrument.
It can be demoralizing to have to play at the public library where there is no privacy.

TLDR I expect better results in my life and can be disappointed in not attaining them.
Maybe it's a fantasy to expect a 7 figure sale for my tv script? But you have to dream big.

I also live in a place where it gets very cold. -16C right now was -20C yesterday.
Walked outside 3 miles yesterday and 2 miles today. No cardio though.
Just have not been consistent exercising beyond walking for errands. Fed up with the weather here.

I understand how you feel. I worked long and hard to become a Veterinarian, but almost every job I've had has been a real disappointment. I feel like things should be working out more positively since I have put the time and effort in to being successful and happy but am neither.
I am looking at different careers, but I am in my 50s and don't really want to go back to school at this time in my life. I will keep trying to find a different path but am not that hopeful about anything working out.
Have you tried going to large cities that are warm ( LA, San Francisco, Miami etc.) and really getting alot of exposure by going to as many people as possible and showcasing your work? I know that's hard for people with AS to do but it may be necessary to accomplish what you want.
I hope this helps a little.

Wow, at least you achieved your desired career. Have you considered writing something? Could you offer consultative services based on your experience? Perhaps starting a YouTube channel?

I was in LA in 2012 for a conference to sell my screenplay. I was unsuccessful, though the project has developed since then.
I was in Miami in 2005 for my first cruise contract as a pianist.
I was in NYC in 2020 just before covid hit to try and sell my screenplay.

I'd like to be back in NYC which is where I've always dreamed of living. It's an expensive place however, and I don't feel it's worth going there again unless I have an offer of some kind.

I think I may need an agent for my screenplay.

I chickened out of going professional with my music, but I'm content to remain a not-for-profit amateur. Of course day jobs (science) always got in the way of my main interest, but I found science interesting too, so it wasn't so bad. I do sometimes wonder how it might have turned out if I'd devoted all my time to music, but now I'm retired I'm free to do just that, yet I don't. I suppose I don't have that ambition thing in quite the same way as many people do. I'm very ambitious about whatever I happen to be doing, but I don't have much of an overview to be ambitious about, preferring to take each day as it comes and to respond to the chance of making the here and now reasonably comfortable and happy.

For me it's about the "how to" of the aspiration - if I know how to get there and it seems worth the effort, I can usually manage the work, but if I don't know, then the task becomes finding out how to get there, and sometimes the matter just gets stuck like that because there may be no way to achieve the goal, or the probabilities don't look attractive. Nothing worse than flogging myself to death and achieving nothing, though of course it's great to take a chance and see it pay off. I suppose with going pro with music, a lot of it is about taking chances.

Your piano playing sounds good to me. Really good, real pianos are expensive. Maybe a compromise would be one of those weighted electronic keyboards plugged into a computer with a set of really good samples? There's nothing quite like the real thing of course.

It's all well and good to dream big, but it's also necessary to have reasonable expectations.

Deciding that I'm going to wake up tomorrow and become a billionaire is all fine and dandy on paper, but it's neither reasonable nor rational to be disappointed if and when it doesn't happen.

I get that everyone is in love with their own art, but a few likes and an honorable mention aren't enough to propel a script to fame and fortune.

Real-talk, your script is more of a meandering short-story, with very little meat to it. I'm sure some people like it simply cos they can relate to it, but that doesn't mean it has mass appeal.

OHOT you seem to be a lovely pianist, and would probably benefit from continued practice and exposure there. If you have to go to the library to do so, then I would recommend you do that - and playing in front of people is useful practice as well. Rather than trying to make a pop-song, perhaps use your piano jams to write something along the lines of jazz or blues, or perhaps even ragtime.

@toughdiamond

Anytime you are paid for playing music you can call yourself a professional.

Even if that is busking on a street corner, that means you are a pro.
What kind of science did you work in? Did you work in a laboratory?
I'm fascinated by science, whether astronomy or chemistry (pharmaceuticals/biology).
I want to live as long as I can. I hope that science creates a miracle drug that pro longs the human lifespan.

As for the piano - I said in the video I wanted a piano that is quite expensive by most peoples standards.
I would settle for a Yamaha U3 which is much more affordable. I was given a high quality keyboard
by someone and I gave it back to them after a year. A keyboard is ok but there is no substitute for a real piano.

Wouldn’t a keyboard be better than nothing until you can afford a U3?

Made this video moments ago, this is how I feel:

The script is what it is - not everyone is going to like it or take it seriously. That's fine.
It has a universal theme - finding oneself. Man vs. themself. It's a coming of age story - at least the pilot episode is.

Thanks for the kind words about the piano playing. Yes of course I need to practice if I'm to improve - the library as I said is not a practice environment. I need to own my own instrument to practice on, there is no way around that as far as I'm concerned.

Last edited by 123autism on 04 Jan 2025, 3:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm stubborn and won't accept a keyboard.

I was, too, until I realized that having no instrument would hinder my progress and limit my opportunities to enjoy playing music. My Yamaha P515 was a good investment. It feels and sounds quite nice, better than cheap pianos. I have a Charles Walter upright piano now which I love, but I still use my digital piano with headphones when I want to play at night.

I suppose so, according to one definition of it. I was thinking more of the idea of dedicating one's life to a particular activity and making it the sole means of earning a living. Of course it's not necessary to go that far, but it helps to have the distraction of other work removed from the equation.


I was just a humble research technician, working in biochemistry labs, first metabolic response to post-operative trauma and then genetically engineering bacteria to synthesise human proteins of medical interest. I think science is already discovering things that have the potential to prolong human life, at least to a degree. Main questions are whether people can be persuaded to perform the necessary interventions, and whether or not they can afford them. One intervention is a near-starvation diet. It very likely works, but it's not popular. There's also a lot more known about the early identification and treatment of cancer and heart disease than was once the case. I think science will continue to gradually chip away at those things rather than there ever being any "big bang" that suddenly doubles life expectancy overnight.


I agree that real pianos are noticeably different from electronic ones. What shortcomings did you notice when playing the keyboard?

@toughdiamond
It's the action and feel. There's no substitute for the action of a real piano.

^ Have you tried newer models? The action of some digital pianos gets pretty close to that of an acoustic, even replicating escapement, although it’s not going to be exactly the same.

I've been around pianos/keyboards my entire life.
I am not interested in a digital piano.
As I said, one was given to me and it was fairly high quality.
I gave it back.

I expect the real thing - a real piano - there is no substitute!

I spent decades playing drums. I prefer a real drum kit. It has a thousand times more nuance and character than an electronic kit. But I live in a condo, and can't be that loud. So I play an electronic kit, because I would rather play something less-than-perfect, than not play at all.

If you absolutely can't play on anything less than your ideal, then I'm afraid I have no further advice to offer, as I cannot comprehend letting something like that get in the way of doing something I want to do. I will bang on garbage with other garbage like something out of "STOMP" if I have to - and have done - to create music and rhythm. To me, it just seems another unrealistic expectation.

Buy hey, best of luck, ey. You have talent - seems shame to let it go to waste over something like that.

TBH, if you've got the money there are former execs that do read scripts and provide feedback for those trying to get their work sold. There's a tremendous need for good shows these days, and a lot of the sequels and reboots are partially the result of there not being enough.

It can be kind of pricey, but so is laboring away on something that's not likely to ever be commercially viable even if it does get in the hands of all the people that make these decisions.

Otherwise, it's just a really tough business if you don't have any heat, as in you don't have any recent success that the execs can use to help justify your idea over somebody else's.