I identify red-flags but I give too many chances, thoughts?

Post Reply New Topic

I often identify problems early on,
eg condescension, lying, mirroring, invasive questioning, infantilization...

but then fall prey to rationalizations based on their excuses
which are always vaguely plausible.

This lead me down to several endless terrible relationships.

I guess I don't want to change who I am, but I kinda need to
move on faster?
But won't that mean objectifying people more.. and becoming
kind of horrible?
I suppose not. I suppose just filter faster and move about faster.

Maybe you could write down (or type up) your thoughts immediately after each date. Pay attention to what you've written, especially if you can see a pattern or trend.

And remember Maya Angelou's advice: when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

Better intially choices ..? it is your life , Sorting people is always an issue, investing in your own standards for your own choices of friends will always serve you best.
Some very old book i read sometime ago, possibly "The Power of Positive thinking" may have written it..
But sometimes in order to make good decisions for both long range decisions and friendships ,It needs for you to asssess
" How does this Serve me". it is not selfish thinking but in order for you to be the best person or friend you can be?
You Might be more free to be that way, if , you are making the best decisions for you.
Wstch and pay attention to Red Flags...and act on them...even if stressful.