Aquaintance being too pushy
During the last two times I have attended synagogue, I ended up connecting a someone who recently began attending our congregation. During our interactions, he told me that he lives in one of those rooms for rent while living on SSI along with making extra money under the table by going and cleaning a few gas stations. He also said that he struggles with bi polar disorder but he said that he takes medication.
Though I thought he was a nice guy and enjoyed our conversations, I also started feeling like something was off about him and our interactions.
1. When we ate lunch together, he asked me if he could come over so I could show him a movie that he had never seen
2. During the second in person interaction, he seemed eager to to the same activities that I did
3. ( I made the mistake in giving him my number because he wanted to share an mobile app with me) He started texting me last Weds evening.
A. Though the first text was friendly and we talked things over, I noticed that he was pushing me to attend again this past Saturday. When I told him yes but that I would not feel like doing everything in person, he told me "I think you should do everything in person. Then I was said that I was not comfortable which he said that he understood
B. He also texted me last Thursday by using the "I'm sorry to bother you but.." by asking me for a link and then asking me if I would like to go out for coffee.
At this point I felt icky and sick but told him that I thought he was a nice guy and I would like to get to know him in a group of friends. I also set boundaries about him not texting me because I barely knew him. He told me that he understood and while he asked "Will I see you this Saturday?" In the meantime, he hinted that we get to know each other in a group of friends before dating. That point though, I said "I don't have those kinds of feelings for you," and then blocked his number.
In the meantime, I don't feel comfortable attending my synagogue right now because of him. In the meantime, I am looking to talk to the leadership about it.
Thanks Tim"
I will admit that I felt guilty for having to take those steps. To be honest I had been looking to make some new friends at this congregation because a lot of the people there are nice but tend to be cliquey. A lot of them either treat me as a joke don't tend to make the time for me. That being said, I felt like he was trying to "Befriend me" too fast which I learned is a red flag after listening to quite a few relationship coaches.
When I talked to other people about him, they told me that they felt the same way I did even though they had never met him.
In the meantime, I feel like he is not really dating or marriage material. As stated in my last previous post, he is barely able to support and take care of himself. For one thing, I noticed that he wore the same outfit which was dirty while his hair was greasy. As I am talking about this, I also recall him telling me, he said that he recently quit drinking. Finally, I also didn't like how pushy and clingy that he was to me.