Yesterday, 3:30 pm
Hello there,
I am not diagnosed autistic, but over the last few years through my own research have concluded that it is the best explanation for the way my mind works. I'm in my mid-thirties, and it completely changed my perspective to finally understand so many struggles that went unexplained for my entire life thus far.
At a young age, I was removed from public education due to hyper-focus that made it difficult to integrate into classrooms (which my mom and teachers called "tunnel vision"), as well as sensory issues and meltdowns/shutdowns that made me too trouble-some for normal educational settings.
Because I was verbal and had no cognitive deficits or delays, and likely because I'm female, autism was never considered. I've learned that I am one of those folks who figured out how to mask after experiencing severe rejection and consequences due to undiagnosed autistic behavior. I worked really hard to get back into public school as a teenager with the support of a few advocates I'll forever be grateful for. I graduated, made a career, managed to be financially secure and live independently despite many people telling me it would never happen when I was young.
I hope to find a community who knows what it's like, because I'm still trying to undo the expectations of neurotypical behavior and ways of navigating the world. For instance, I'm still waffling on ordering noise-cancelling headphones because, "what will people think," you know? But, I'd really like to use them. Is it okay to take breaks when I am overwhelmed by things that "normal people" don't consider draining? Can I learn to do that despite criticism, and without guilt, so I can recover faster?
All those little things, that it turns out, aren't so little after all. 
I look forward to meeting you all and I'm happy to offer likewise support! Thank you.
Yesterday, 3:32 pm
Yesterday, 3:41 pm
Yesterday, 3:48 pm
I hope to find a community who knows what it's like, because I'm still trying to undo the expectations of neurotypical behavior and ways of navigating the world. For instance, I'm still waffling on ordering noise-cancelling headphones because, "what will people think," you know? But, I'd really like to use them. Is it okay to take breaks when I am overwhelmed by things that "normal people" don't consider draining? Can I learn to do that despite criticism, and without guilt, so I can recover faster?
Hello and welcome to WP.
It’s common for many of us to use ear plugs or noise-canceling headphones as needed. In a group at work or at a social function, it’s okay to tell people that you are wearing them to help with noise. Headphones often imply that you may be listening to music or an audiobook as well. I carry ear plugs with me wherever I go to use as needed.
Rest as necessary, especially to help recharge after social gatherings. Self care is essential. If you don’t take care of yourself first it will be difficult for you to be fully present and engaged with others later.
kokopelli
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Joined: 27 Nov 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,337
Location: amid the sunlight and the dust and the wind
Yesterday, 4:21 pm
Yesterday, 5:13 pm
Yesterday, 5:18 pm
Yesterday, 5:29 pm
Thanks for the welcome, everyone!
I'm also undiagnosed (although I did have a psychiatrist offer to confirm it, but there seemed no point at my age) and had my epiphany after reading "Running with scissors" at about 25 when my whole life suddenly made sense.
I too had problems at school with "tunnel vision" and now dislike the phrase "the bigger picture"
I hope you find this planet to your liking.
Tailchaser? Haha. Now your username reminds me of August Kekulé, the chemist who said he conceptualized the structure of a carbon ring for aromatic compounds from a dream about the ouroboros.
I've not read "Running with Scissors," though I'd heard of it from when the film came out. It is neat how reading novels and memoirs can prompt epiphanies like that.
It seems quite nice here. Lots of tunnels to explore.
Rest as necessary, especially to help recharge after social gatherings. Self care is essential. If you don’t take care of yourself first it will be difficult for you to be fully present and engaged with others later.
Thanks for the tips. It's a good note that people might think I'm listening to something.
Last edited by 0uroboros on 05 Feb 2025, 5:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
funeralxempire
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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,148
Location: Right over your left shoulder
Yesterday, 5:30 pm
Yesterday, 6:39 pm
Double Retired
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Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,360
Location: U.S.A. (Mid-Atlantic)
Yesterday, 6:41 pm
Yesterday, 9:31 pm
Thank you for the recommendations, Jakki. Ahoy, funeralxempire. 
And, you are closer to your symptoms than we are, but be advised there can sometimes be issues with self-diagnosis:
- Broad Autism Phenotype: Having some Autism symptoms but not enough to qualify for the diagnosis.
- Having Autism symptoms due to something other than Autism
That last thing caused confusion when my bride and I were researching the possibility of me being Autistic. My bride is diagnosed to be ADHD but when she read about Autism she noticed she had a lot of the symptoms, too! It turns out Autism and ADHD share many symptoms. When I found and showed her this chart it persuaded her she was ADHD, not Autistic, and got her to go back over to her diagnosis and give me some peace and quiet in mine.
Of course, your symptoms might not leave any room for doubt. Sometimes it is clearly Autism.
Thank you for the resources. The BAP is new to me. Research on autism and other neuro-developmental differences seems to be experiencing a renaissance right now, and it's very fascinating to see all the new data and theories coming out about it.
I've looked into ADHD. I know people diagnosed with ADHD and we can relate with one another in many ways, but there is a distinction I can't quite put my finger on. I have considered AuDHD, as well, but I'm less sure about that than the autism.
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