Women who are childless or childfree

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Excerpt from Childfree Women Are Still Subjected to Stigma

Kristen Tsetsi, an author and activist who has chosen to be childfree, shares her experiences of being met with both stigma and acceptance. She notes a memorable experience of feeling supported:

“I was a grocery bagger at a military post commissary, and one day a woman whose bags I carted to her car asked if I had kids. When I said I didn’t, she asked if I wanted any. Still shy about saying it out loud, I quietly told her I didn’t. ‘Good for you,’ she said. ‘Stay strong. Don’t let them make you change your mind.’ Until that point, I’d thought I was somehow wrong for not wanting to be a mother. In that short interaction, one she couldn’t possibly have known would be so important, she gave me the boost I needed.”

Copyright Robert T. Muller, Ph.D.

Dental Hygenist years ago ,asked me the same question, when I replied " no" she replied when do you think you will...
That pretty much eliminate much commonality to continue her converstation with her.
Have had a very very full life inspite, without children.. No disrespect for those whom choose to bear children. Even my admiration, For I would not exist, if Mum did not have children.. Inspite of personal family history .

I’m a childless woman in her mid-fifties. Only now do I begin to realize the full extent of society stigma to this minority. It explains why I felt excluded most of my adult life from other adult women my age. Women who became mothers live in an entirely different world than me, even before any admission of autism spectrum. Theirs is just another silent club for me to decipher. It’s no wonder why many of us are so good at pattern recognition and coding. And also no wonder why I misinterpret social cues from time to time.

A woman’s worth should not be determined by her ability to have sex and procreate.

When you’re a mom on the spectrum, you won’t necessarily fit in with other mothers or even relate to them because your needs, priorities, interests, values, and approach to parenting may be very different from those in your milieu. That was my experience anyway, so motherhood has never felt like a club to me. Well, I’m an introvert and have trouble engaging with people anyway.

There can be a lot of judgment and stigma placed on parents and for a variety of different reasons. It’s tough, especially when you try your damnedest to give your kid what they deserve. It’s like it’s never good enough. That’s definitely not everyone’s experience, but I don’t think it’s that uncommon, perhaps especially when one is a parent on the spectrum who has her own struggles to manage somehow. I certainly don’t regret having him, though. Not even for a second.

I think when people don’t fit into established norms - the in-group - as defined by their society/community judgment and some level of ostracism is often the result.

There definitely can be a lot of judgment and stigma on women related to sex and motherhood. If an actress has a nude scene in a movie, people and the media often talk way more about her body than her work even if she was utterly brilliant.

Well, for those women who need to know that they aren’t alone, there are some books on this topic. I’ve read the first but not the second yet.


Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood by Ruby Warren

And

Without Children: The Long History of Not Being a Mother by Peggy O'Donnell Heffington