Im always a bit uncomfortable. Vague aches and pains. Anxiety that makes me feel tingly. I can't multitask. I struggle to feel ok if I leave the house. I get ringing in my ears and feel really insecure. I've gotten many blood tests because of the aches. It's just a psychological thing I guess. I can't focus sometimes and feel really disoriented. Sometimes I feel like everything is spinning. It makes it difficult to stand sometimes. The worst is when I can't move my legs and if I try I get bad anxiety. They feel heavy and tingly and I can't walk properly when I get up.
Sometimes I can't get up because of dread. It's the worst in the shower or bath. I'll just sit even after I've turned water off. It's honestly a feeling of fear and shame. Sometimes I can't get out of bed and I can only really move my neck. People want me to get up but I'm like paralyzed from dread. I won't eat because of it. I won't talk because of it. It's so irritating. I just feel dread either way.
I want to feel more comfortable. I just don't know how. Sometimes I do things people think are weird to alleviate it. Like rocking, and sometimes talking a lot. I'll ramble.
Yesterday, 10:25 am
