I thought I make a thread on this as my entry point into WP. A lot of Autistic people are seen as shy, standoffish, and don't like being touched. I'm the opposite for the most part. I'm generally easy to get along with and I'm very affectionate which makes me likeable by neurotypicals, but oftentimes when I do start making close friendships it usually ends because I'm accused of being overly friendly to the point where people start questioning my sexuality.
Just last year I had a guy that I worked with at a Publix supermarket here in Florida that i was close friends with. He had that warm and friendly gentle giant vibe that made me gravitate toward him. I didn't talk to him much at first but after working at Publix for 2 months I added him on Facebook and we immediately clicked. We both were special needs adults (he had spinda bifida and I had asperges), both were into rap and metal music, both raised by single moms, and both were into anime and pro wrestling.
As the months went on there started to be tension among us. He began feeling insecure around me and made me feel like a burden to him. He said my affection toward him made him feel as if we were in a gay relationship even though he knows I'm a born-again bible believing Christian. I backed off a bit but I was really close with his mom whose also disabled and she was really sick. I got her a get well card and gave it to him before i clocked out of work. A few hours later he texts me on Facebook Messenger saying that we're no longer friends. It broke my heart, but I kinda saw it coming. I felt like I had to walk on eggshells to make him happy. I know I get flack about not respecting boundaries, but I genuinely tried to walk that thin line between being friendly while not being a distraction to him.
A week later, after he blocks me on social media he tells my boss that I was stalking him, knowing that I'm not a malicious person and I always saw him as a role model to me (he's 6 years older than me). I was pretty upset, thankfully another guy I was friends with at Publix knew the truth and saw right through that lie and took my side. I never had ill will toward him and thankfully my boss left me off with a warning. I still kept my job, but I stayed as far away from him as possible (it was not as easy as it looks because we worked in close proximity to each other) but I made it worked. I gave him no eye content and everytime I saw him walking toward my direction, I went the other way. We eventually made up, but he still don't consider me a friend since he thinks I'm too over-the-top for him, but I told him and his mother that I forgive him and still see him as a brother in Christ (he's also a Christian).
That happened around last September-November. I since left Publix and started working at a Wawa gas station this past January (due to my hours getting cut). I hadn't got close to anyone there yet because I don't want what happened at Publix happen to me at my new job. The people at Wawa are cool, but I just don't click with any of them like I did at Publix. It has to do with the fact I was working with a lot of Christians and special needs people. I do like the newest guy at my store but he's married with children, so I don't see us being super close but I can see us getting along really well.
I'm much better at making friends online since I don't have to worry about unintentionally pissing people off. I also got more involved in the autism community online hence why I joined WP. I know I can be very affectionate which is a turn off for a lot of males, but I do try to respect people's boundaries when it comes to hugs and fistbumps. My old friend I was just talking about, I only hugged him once in our whole friendship because he told me he doesn't like that but is OK with fistbumps. I was a bit disappointed as someone whose a big hugger, but I didn't want to ruin a seemingly innocent wholesome friendship over a hug. I tend hug guys who gives off that sweet teddy bear vibe verses the aggressive roughneck type who feel too macho for friendship hugs. Hope that doesn't sound too weird.
I have made a close friend online on TikTok whose autstic and have similar struggles when it comes to being perceived as gay when you just expressing yourself love toward a person in a sweet and childlike way. He has little bit more support needs than I do, but we totally get each other as Aspies with adhd. We get hyper and excited about being with our friends even if it's small hangout. We both are Christians and we both set healthy boundaries with each other seamlessly. If he didn't live a few hundred miles away, we would be hanging out a lot in person.
I wonder if you guys had a simliar experience where you made a friend into a special intrest and it ended up backfiring on you in the long-run?
Today, 8:15 am
