Hi. My brother in law died last Friday. We were close. We texted often, just little things like what we had for dinner or about cooking. They were short and regular. Tonight I found myself looking for the phone I left in the other room worried I was going to miss a text.
Family and friends would get together and we'd sing. There were microphones, flashing lights, a drum set my brother in law would play behind us. I love to sing and so does my husband. He started singing today but every time I tried, I cried and I couldn't. I'm afraid I've lost my music.
We cleared out some of his apartment on Monday. It didn't seem that hard after the initial shock. I think it was because I doing something. When I am upset I tend to clean and organize stuff. Nights are hard because there are no distractions in the dark. I sorry if I am rambling. I'm not sure what I am expecting. My husband is being understanding while trying to process his own grief. The change is so hard. The finality of his death is hitting me. I'm having trouble processing right now. All I want to do is anything physical. I am having trouble doing anything that requires brain power. Don't know if it's a focus issue or a lack of motivation.
Thanks for reading. I hope I am making sense.
26 Mar 2025, 5:54 am
