I lately discovered I'm most likely with ASD and ADHD.

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What's strange I always thought I was a highly sensitive woman (more like super hyper sensitive) person with lots of anxiety and fears, and completely isolated, rebellious, radical, obsessive, and weird, but never really knew anything about ASD. Now a few weeks later, getting deeper beyond the stereotypical online diagnoses lists (they are so pathetic relative to what people with ASD or AuDHD describe) - I feel a mixture of grief and relief. Like I understand the ostracism, rejections, and bullying that haunted me for entire lifetime struggle fitting in. Like it has bee so hard to live a life. Like people senses that I was different even thjough I tried to act normal.
Still learning though, and hardly care about an official diagnosis.

I still have no clue how I will continue living since latest years have stressed me to barely going through days and don't even get me started on working in a job... so just trying to see if i fit in here. That would be the first

I still use the old Aspergers term as I think lumping it in with autism was more for the convenience of those making a living off us. At any rate, my definition of Aspergers is a neurological variant presenting with a faster, more complex, or more sensitive neurology. This theory explains the various sensitivities and the difficulty processing both sensory and cognitive information. It can feel like one is constantly trying to operate on manual control while most others seem to enjoy an automatic pilot.

I would like to say we are a gregarious and welcoming community. However, if we fall short in the slap on the back bonhomie, we should be able to muster a respectful and welcoming environment as we all explore what we can learn from each other about coping skills and management strategies.

If you are new to Aspergers I can recommend the Tony Atwood videos on Youtube or the free pdf booklet Aspegergs An Intentional Life.

https://christianpioneer.com/blogarchie ... e_2017.pdf

That is so funny. I literally just discovered T Atwood and watching an interview wit him as we speak. I feel like the aspie fits me quite well for all the reasons I learned so far.
I also am just clicking lately that exactly waht you said that I'm overlu conscious of everything. Lik I have to consciously make life happen, including oftentimes to remember how to breathe. while NTs just run autopilot and go like that until they die.. very strange

thanks you for welcoming words.

I must say, that the way I found out I might be an Aspie was very remarkable and people would think I'm crazy or just stupid.
I am writing a book about sensitivty. It's super deep and I though it was just about epople that are HSP and more anomalously, but haven't had any conscious knowledge about ASD Aspergers none of that. FYI much of my book. I not exactly channeled. but it's like a big bang of thousands of dots i've been collecting throughout my life as I was becoming more intuitive. And as i write about spectrum of perception of sensitive people, I find myself writing pages upon pages of autistic people's experience without ever reading as much as a brochure. And so much that i've written this entire theory of sensitivity and a whole different cognition style. And then i started checking studies and research about autism and it was like everything fit my theory. So my "self diagonosis" was secondary to somehow knowing so much about autism, that can be corroborated through research, but is not fremed in the understanding i made. So i hope to rewrite it at some point and get courage to publish online.

Welcome to the team!

As someone with autism level 1 and inattentive-type ADHD (I also live in rural America) I have found the internet a great place to connect with other autists, especially because I'll probably get shot if I dare unmask in public (or at home with my parents).

A few recommendations of other places on-line to hang out:

reddit: r/autism is okay, I personally prefer r/autismmemes and r/aspiememes.

discord: The AspieFriends server is pretty cool. You should be able to look it up, I can't post the link.

If anyone wants to swap stories, PM me, I'm always happy to talk!

thanks! will check out these sources. where i live (in Poland) there is still little knowledge about what spie is and plenty stereotype. but like you say, online is a way to go.

I'd also strongly suggest you see if this applies to you:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monotropism

Welcome to Wrong Planet

I expect these discoveries about yourself will prove useful. Mixed emotions upon finding out one is neurodivergent is fairly typical.

Thanks. yeah that's me alright. I am black or white. I loose myself 1000000% in or i just cut it off completely and never look back. lately my book interest got the better of me so much so that i was so obsessed, i couldn't stop and it severely affected my wellbeing, my nervous system, and sleep. I had a major health crisis because my brain kept hyperconnecting about it and couldn't stop working. like a drug. i had times when i was super intense about my intersets, to the point of exhaustion but lately that was really scary.

I loved the name "wrong planet" - it really feels that way, doesn't it? thanks for the welcome. what is your best advice to coping. I mean what's worked for you?

Identify sources of stress and see if there are practical ways of avoiding them.

I'm retired and get to shop when the grocery stores aren't busy, such as a weekday morning.
Sometimes I go inside Target and the store is really busy. So I walk out and come back later!

Movie theaters are too loud so I wear high fidelity earphones.

Executive function can or getting stuff done can be an issue.
So I keep track of stuff I've done on the calendar attached to the refrigerator.
I can see if I need to do stuff while making breakfast.

Thanks Veteran. Yeah, I need to be more on top of those sources of stress. I avoid many. things that would trigger me outside. but at home, where is pend most time, i do things that are not good for me. but the biggest problem is i cannot stop myself doing them

Using my pattern recondition to realize that the worst outcome I was expecting usually did not happen. For me for that to happen I needed to find out I am autistic first and find out pattern recognition and negative thought loops are common among autistic people.

Welcome to WP! I hope you find this a useful and pleasant place to frequent.

Regarding not having a diagnosis...you could possibly get some info from an informal assessment: AQ.

You may have OCD. Or an autistic stim.
The difference is that an autistic stim is calming, and reduces anxiety, even when done in the presence of others.

I do retail therapy. I buy clothes that I don't need, but it is cheaper than seeing a therapist.
It is relaxing to shop online and hunt for a very specific item.

Ha! you are probably right. I think I have some OCD and stims. But I read that special interests can do that to people to lose themselves and exhaust completely. I'm working hard to take breaks.
I see how shopping therapy could be fun. Except I have no job. No therapy nor shopping for me. Anyway, I want is to live in the countryside and smell land each day. When I'm out in nature, I even forget about my special interest black hole, becasue it calms me so much. all I can do is try to be moderate.

Thanks for the link! I actually found almost the same one today. I hit the level for "official diagnosis" and I did another test the other day, which put me in the "significant autistic characteristics". It's a strange feeling to learn about this. A part of me is happy so I see why you gad your champagne. The other part is grieving. Been crying a lot in the last days sad for no one ever noticing and for all the decades I worked so hard trying to keep it all together. Masking.
I know I have to process this, but I know I wasn't meant to know earlier. In my environment there was no one would would have given me support even if they knew. If anything I would have gotten more abuse. So at least I can look after myself now. sorry if too much details. All in all I think it's a good think. Just need time to acclimate.