Finding Places to Meet Women

Page 1 of 4 [ 63 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

NeantHumain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,837
Location: St. Louis, Missouri

08 Sep 2007, 6:45 pm

In my day-to-day life, I rarely come across women approximately in my age range (20-24), at least not unaccompanied by a boyfriend/significant other. I'm one of the youngest people at my work because I've recently graduated from college (yeah, there were a lot of women there), so there really aren't any women in my age range there, let alone ones who are single (people getting married is endemic in a corporate workplace). I work out at a gym near where I live, but it's mostly guys there, and a lot of the females there are middle aged or appear to be still in high school.

Most of the contact I have with women roughly my age is when I go to a restaurant or a gas station; sometimes the cashier or waitress is a woman approximately my age. Actually, last week a cashier appeared to be flirting with me, so I asked her out, and she then said she had a boyfriend.

I don't drink alcohol and am pretty uncoordinated (in terms of fine motor coordination at least), so bars and nightclubs aren't most suitable for me; I actually tried going to a nearby bar last weekend simply out of a desire to meet some actual women, but it was at least 2/3 guys. I am nonreligious, so I definitely do not want to meet any women through a church or youth group. Offline I have no friends, so I can't network to meet women.

Mostly I have been sending women messages on MySpace and Facebook, but over the past two years, that has resulted in the occasional exchange of messages but no on-going friendships, no dates, and not even meeting any of these women in person.



username88
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,820

08 Sep 2007, 6:51 pm

I feel your pain man, but if your up to it Id say you would have the best of luck searching at a college. There are soo many chicks there your age, really nice ones too. I always seem to make a fool out of myself one way or another, so it never worked out for me. But believe me if your looking for some nice women just start taking a few classes, especially the yoga classes :wink:



AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,078
Location: Portland, Oregon

08 Sep 2007, 7:41 pm

NH,
I feel your pain as well.
If you are up to it, try the nearest bookstore.
There are many girls out there who share your pain & are looking for someone like you.


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


NeantHumain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,837
Location: St. Louis, Missouri

08 Sep 2007, 8:10 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
NH,
I feel your pain as well.
If you are up to it, try the nearest bookstore.
There are many girls out there who share your pain & are looking for someone like you.

I sometimes go to a Borders by me (I suually check out the history, classical era, or philosophy sections), but it isn't very popular with women for some reason (it's connected to the mall, so more often, I see groups of teenagers or families making their way into the mall via the Borders).



Spot17
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 493
Location: lost, as usual...

08 Sep 2007, 10:02 pm

I've told other guys this - get a dog and walk it. If you have a dog park near you or a greenway trail, that would be ideal. A big dog that is friendly and unique is a plus, like a greyhound or great dane or husky. I take my greyhound for walks and I'd say at least 70% of the people I pass stop and talk to me about my dog.



MagmarFire
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
Location: In a galaxy far, far away...

08 Sep 2007, 10:12 pm

Well, all I can say is what has been said already: persevere and keep getting involved. I heard it works. :wink:



woodsman25
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,064
Location: NY

09 Sep 2007, 4:14 am

ive tryed the bar thing for years and it sucks, way to over stimulating.

Collage seems to be the best, like stated above, take a class, go to the book store or join a club. I have no experience with eather (well... i went to collage, but 4/5ths of the ppl their seemd to be guys).

good luck.


_________________
DX'ed with HFA as a child. However this was in 1987 and I am certain had I been DX'ed a few years later I would have been DX'ed with AS instead.


Space
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,082

09 Sep 2007, 12:46 pm

Try speed dating or some internet dating sites. It is easier than you think, and you get to bypass much of the awkwardness of trying to approach some random girl and find out if she is interested/has a boyfriend, etc.



pbcoll
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,892
Location: the City of Palaces

09 Sep 2007, 1:11 pm

Space wrote:
Try speed dating or some internet dating sites. It is easier than you think, and you get to bypass much of the awkwardness of trying to approach some random girl and find out if she is interested/has a boyfriend, etc.


my experience with internet dating is that it is an utter waste of time.


_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)

El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)

I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).


juliekitty
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jun 2006
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,540

09 Sep 2007, 2:39 pm

Well, it is if you don't post a good profile or pic, or if you sit and wait for women to contact you.

I met my last three boyfriends online, so I doubt any of them would say it's a waste of time.

Last year I went to the wedding of two people who met online.



calandale
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,439

09 Sep 2007, 3:30 pm

juliekitty wrote:
...or if you sit and wait for women to contact you.


Yeah, this works much better in real life.

As to speed dating, I'd guess that's gotta be
pretty tough, for most of us. I'd prefer meeting
someone through something I enjoy.



LePetitPrince
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,464

09 Sep 2007, 3:33 pm

^^ online dating is a waste of time for many guys but obviously not a waste of time for girls . The boys:girls ratio on dating site are always around 4:1 . Guys are always much much more . That's why it is well-knowns that girl get hundreds of emails and requests on dating sites while most guys get zero.
In other term , only the most attractive guys on the dating sites would always get the fruits and all the girls would get fruits too .As for the majority of guys, they would get nothing.


NeantHumain , I can feel you . I am 25 and It seems that I am not meeting any single girls in my age rage . In fact ,the more you become older the more would become harder to meet a single girl in your age range.



Last edited by LePetitPrince on 10 Sep 2007, 12:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

calandale
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,439

09 Sep 2007, 3:36 pm

OKCupid's quizzes gave me a way
to get contact without having to initiate.

That, along with posting comments about
people. Still, I found that, with no common
understanding, trying to form a relationship
without physical presence was just too damned
unnatural.



NeantHumain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,837
Location: St. Louis, Missouri

09 Sep 2007, 4:58 pm

I went to an art festival today, and there were a lot of women roughly my age there (single, I don't know). I went with my dad, and we got there late (we had to deal with an illness in the family first), but if we got there more than an hour before it was over, I could have seen a lot of potential in it (I wonder why I never find out about these things). The advantage of NTs is they have social resources to find about events like this whereas I am bored and restless at home too much without an idea of fun places to go to. This is one reason why I've been trying to form a bit of a social network now with coworkers and others.



NeantHumain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,837
Location: St. Louis, Missouri

09 Sep 2007, 5:02 pm

pbcoll wrote:
Space wrote:
Try speed dating or some internet dating sites. It is easier than you think, and you get to bypass much of the awkwardness of trying to approach some random girl and find out if she is interested/has a boyfriend, etc.


my experience with internet dating is that it is an utter waste of time.

I second this. I signed up for Yahoo! Personals for a month, and I didn't feel like paying another $9.95 after getting no responses after sending out messages to the women in my age range; I also noticed that, at least for 19 and 20 year olds, those who date online tend to be single mothers or in some other undesirable straits.



AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,078
Location: Portland, Oregon

09 Sep 2007, 5:53 pm

Space wrote:
Try speed dating or some internet dating sites. It is easier than you think, and you get to bypass much of the awkwardness of trying to approach some random girl and find out if she is interested/has a boyfriend, etc.


I tried speed dating once.
It's great if you want to build up on your social skills.


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!