Fidgeting

Post Reply New Topic

Ok, I have a blind date coming up with an NT. I've talked to her over AIM, and she noted even over the internet that I need to chill out some (although we do seem to have some common interests). I want to freak her out as little as possible when I meet her, and I'm worried that if I seem overly uptight, I could blow it instantly. I fidget alot, and that worries me. Any advice on how I can reduce/stop my fidgeting for even a few hours? I mean, I like to keep my hands busy, and I'm afraid the instant I stop thinking about it I'll start doing it again (or else put my hands in my pockets, which is just as bad).

Maybe you should tell her
ahead of time? Make light
of it, but make it seem worse
than it actually is. Then, she'll
be expecting Mr. Twitchy, and
you'll seem calm.

There seem to be social acceptable ways to fidget. I know that I certainly don't ever stop, and I don't seem to come off as nervous based my observation of others. I think that the key is not to stare at that which which you're fidgeting, as that seems to give off an air of preoccupation.
I don't know dude. Best of luck though.

Problem is, she would get Mr. Twitchy. And telling her about my problems would seem like just whining about my problems, which is bad with a girl you want to date. Also, I know this girl likes men who are more dominant, which I can't really do, but I'd at least want to seem in control of myself.

That's a tough one. I know the person I'm involved with has called me on my aspie symptoms before I was diagnosed. What the difference from 'typical' expectations with this lady is what she brings to the table, a willingness to understand. That's not the usual when meeting people online. I hope it goes well, and being honest about it is better than trying to make up any kind of a story to excuse it. In my age bracket (mid 40's), honesty goes a long way.

A blind date? Lucky

Well I've never been on a blind date, but my dad (who is also an aspie) has, and he shared his story with me. Basically, he was so nervous, he ended up talking about himself the whole time, and the date was a total bust. So on your date, try to keep most of the focus on her.

As for the fidgeting...I dunno, just be yourself. Will you be having dinner? Eating will give you something for your hands to do.

Good luck

Yes, indeed I fidget, always have, always will. I like the dinner idea, if you eat, you will be pre-occupide, however their is time you will not have anything but the 2 of you together. I think its fine that you fidget a little, just keep it in mind to be careful not to be to obvious about it, ive been fine if I do it a little, but if you do it alot she will definatly notice, tho, really... assuming you want to be with her for a while, maby its best she see you doing it, as you cant hide who you are for the entire course of the date, or during future dates.

Have a drink or two before you go. And do the whole before-date dance. That one in Something About Mary. There's gotta be something in that.

Or maybe take some relaxing pills.. like Calms or somesuch thing.

Don't know what we'll be doing yet. Probably food/movie.



I have to drive, and I don't really dance (although I need to get over my self-consciousness).

I don't mean actually dancing. I mean "relax" yourself beforehand. But wash your hands afterwards.

LOL reminds me of a time when I was with someone and while eating soup, it sorta spilt from the spoon into the bowl again from which I was eating the soup... I just kept shaking and twitching lol. lol try not to worry about it WatcherAzazel, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Well, don't freak her out right away. Wait a few more dates for that. Have a drink first (don't get drunk, that's the absolute worst scenario), before you meet her, to relax. If you're worried abiut driving, have a shot once you get there. Tequila is always good. Don't forget gum or mints. As for hands, I carry my cellphone and my keys, that fills up one hand until I decide to put them on the table. If I'm sitting down in a comfortable chair, I rest both my hands palm down on my thighs, and I make sure my posture is good. Makes a world of difference. Slumping makes you look like crap.

OK, so what's the worst that could happen? You feel you blow it and she's not interested. Once you've faced the worst, anything else is better. So have a good time, it's OK to show her your quirky side, it's beautiful and what makes you special. If you have to fidget, use the nervous energy to be more animated in your conversation. Laugh about it with her! Or turn it into something seductive and say "You're just so pretty you're making me nervous" , and SMILE and LOOK IN HER EYES when you say it. Trust me, that's quite disarming. Every girl likes to be told she's pretty.

HAVE FUN, GOOD LUCK!

Gum, mints...can't live without them.

One thing NOT to do...do not keep ordering drinks as a way of keeping your hands busy and as a means to reduce your stress...it does work in rare instances but in the morning you usually regret it.

I do the same thing- Like someone has already said previously tell her before the date. It will make things easier.

Not too many. For me, once I start,
it becomes harder to slow down.



You mean the part where you answer the door with
jizz in your hair?

Ah! Bad idea. Kills the sexual tension.

Always thought that was just an awful
suggestion.