Did you know that Aspies don't get married?

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Today I had my first appointment in my quest to try to get an official diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of choice in who I see since I don't have insurance or a job, so I have to go for cheap for now. So the place I'm going to is run by the county and uses psychiatric residents. I don't really care about getting a diagnosis for myself, I'm just sick of people not believing me. And I do need to see someone to keep getting prescriptions for my Prozac anyway.

I knew it was going to be an uphill battle trying to get this diagnosis, but I didn't know how funny it would be. As soon as I mention AS she whips out the DSM criteria and reads them to me...like I haven't read them. Then she proceeds to tell me that if I had AS I wouldn't be married because I wouldn't seek out relationships. WTF? I guess there has never been one single Aspie who's gotten married...I wonder where all these Aspie children are coming from? Must be the vaccines, since Aspies never procreate.

Then she starts reading a huge block of text about social anxiety disorder. Well, I couldn't focus because I was still dumbfounded by her statement about Aspies not getting married. And she had this really loud ticking clock in her office that totally distracted me, so I only heard about half of what she was reading to me. But I've read it all before on my own.

I calmly explained that I've been reading Tony Attwood's book The Complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome and that he states that it can be difficult to diagnose adults with AS because they've learned coping skills. And that it can be even more difficult to diagnose females because they're naturally more social than males. I'm pretty sure that I'll believe a doctor who has specialized in the autistic spectrum for 25 years, over someone who's just out of school.

I had brought a lot of information with me about why I believe I have AS along with OCPD and ADHD, but there wasn't time to get into it since this was the first appointment and she had to get a history. She said we could go over that stuff next week...which we definitely will because I'm not backing down from this. At least I know what I'm up against so I know how to be better prepared next time to teach her about AS...haha.

Let the aspie traits work for you. I have an ex-employer that could not seeem to get around to paying me. So i started phoning once per day, speaking nicely or leaving a simple message. finally she phones back and leaves a message "I'm taking care of you, i promise, so you don't have to go through the bother of phoning each day! ha ha. In other words, "stop calling and pestering me, i am doing it!"

Don't give up!

Thanks, I definitely won't!

I had that happen to me, when I first sought out a dx. I was thoroughly tested by a resident, who told me that I didn't have it, because I have a high IQ. WTF had that to do with it? I realized that I was wasting my time. I finally lucked out with a resident psychologist instead of a psychiatrist. IMO she was more willing to listen and hear me out, because she can't write prescriptions anyway. Also, I believe that if you say you have a dx that may not require meds, they don't want to hear it because they are all just drug pushers.

That's absolutely ridiculous, there are a ton of Aspies with high IQs. I think that makes it easier for us to mask our difficulties.

I haven't even been tested at all yet. She just completely dismissed it after talking to me for about 10 minutes and reading the DSM criteria. *sigh*



That's a very good point. She was quite focused on my depression and anxiety.

That sums up my experiences with mental health professionals when I was a kid. It was all about, giving me higher doses, or trying a different drug, and taking my parents money for sitting with me for an hour twice a week while doing nothing. We talked more about how I was responding to the meds than about my problems which I was not going to trust them with completely since all they cared about were pills.

I've had to get jerked around by the so-called mental health profession for a long time. What with mis-diagnoses, toxic drugs, I have totally lost faith in the ones who give medicines. You say that she was focused on anxiety and depression. Well, you can medicate those. It might sound odd, but check into any school based psychological services in your area. They may be more familiar with AS. That's how I found this lady. I called an information and referral hot-line, and asked about services for AS. They told me it was for children, but to ask anyway. Good luck!

Man, I would SCREAM if somebody made a big deal out of that, lol! That's just kind of funny... you should ask her what causes autism, and if she mentions genetics at all, then she just proved your point I suppose I'm lucky-the lady who is going to do my assessment (going to her to confirm what has been told to me) works with families that have it running through them, so she isn't surprised in the least.

And you don't need to meet B) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level because you can be meeting

(A) marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction and (D) lack of social or emotional reciprocity from the first part of the criteria.

Try taking gluten and Casein out of your diet and see how you respond after a week or two. Do some research on it.

Edward R. Ritvo, MD out at UCLA School of Medicine is working very hard to prove to the medical community that people on the autistic spectrum DO get married and have children. He recently posted a thread on WP asking for aspie volunteers to help him and his team come up with a more accurate tool to diagnose adults on the spectrum, but he got such a negative response from some people here that he gave up. I and several of my relatives are participating, and it's something I'm really proud to be doing. I understand that a lot of people here may have had bad experiences with shrinks, but it's ironic and unfortunate that he was treated so badly on WP, where so many threads are started by people saying that no one in the mental health profession believes they have AS.

I was so thrown off by her statement that I had no clue how to respond to it...I just kind of stared at her. Of course I thought of all sorts of great responses after I got home. I'm totally going to bring up the probable genetic component of autism next week. I already told her that my brother, who I hadn't been in contact with for 3 years prior to about a week ago, had independently determined that he's most likely an Aspie and that he thinks our father was too (something I think as well). And our mother and other brother definitely have Aspie traits. She seemed intrigued by that at first, then dismissed it when she read the DSM criteria for AS. It was as if it was her first encounter with "Asperger's disorder", as she called it.

LOL. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Wer all pretty much seek out relationships. LIES.

Heeheehee, get her. Walk in knowing that she WILL listen to you, whether she wants to or not. An old Dale Carnegie trick was to imagine the goal as already completed and your work as a mere formality. Don't let her change the subject - make a track in your mind and stay on it. It's our specialty.

You could also remind her that the DMS-IV-TR description is based on work done with children, not adults. Emotional development is delayed, so we learn empathy later. That's why coping skills cause problems in the diagnosis for adults.

"Never give up, never surrender." - Commander Peter Quincy Taggart

And you could still meet (B) even if you *are* married. It's not absolute failure to develop peer relationships, it's just failing to do so at a level appropriate to your developmental level otherwise. So things like not doing parallel play at age 2, but starting to do so at age 5; not playing with other kids at age 5, but starting to do so at age 8; not starting to date or have serious romantic relationships until one's 20s instead of one's teens ... that would all count as (B). You can still develop peer relationships, just later than other people do.

I wanna get married.