Why do some people dislike eye-contact?

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I know People with ASD don't like looking into peoples eyes - I don't like this either. I just seem unable to hold my gaze locked on a stranger's eyes. It makes me want to either look down - or fade out (a tactic that stops me interpreting what I see. It rests on the faulty logic that if I can't see them anymore, they can't see me anymore. I know this is wrong but try telling my mind that).

But does anyone know why I don't like it? Is there a reason for not wanting to look into peoples eyes? All I know is I don't like it - but I don't know why.

I don't really have this problem.

Tim

http://www.neuropsychiatryreviews.com/a ... ntact.html

amygdala is part of the limbic system to do with fight and flight response.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ic&t=44284

This is an issue I'd never even thought about until I found this site. If you had asked me before then if I avoided eye contact I would have said "no."

But now I realise I actually do avoid it - I will look at people's faces but not their eyes. In fact I can have a better conversation on a phone (landline not mobile!) with a person than face to face because I don't like them watching me.

Huge problem for me. Even when I am wearing sunglasses. I especially feel anxious when I am passing by a pretty woman.

I think it has to do with brain wiring differences between an AS and an NT, as the eyes provide waaaaaaaay too much data for the AS to handle, causing an information overload, whereas an NT system is designed to handle this information on its own...

It hurts. I only look at those I'm extremely comfortable with, and then it's fleeting; people have thought before that I make eye contact with them, no. I've learnt the art of looking past people (due to a...misguided Kung-Fu teacher), which looks like I'm looking at them but I'm really not (see avatar for a fine example of me "looking" directly at the cameraman who I'm completely comfortable with).

I found the same to be true with me. A few years back I read things to improve my socializing and eye contact was this total revelation for me. I mean I had heard the term before but I didn't really get it - I didn't ever even notice all these people made eye contact while I never did. I was never drawn to looking at someone in the eyes and didn't realize I didn't ever do it until I stopped and thought about it.

Now that I am aware of it, I find it to be uncomfortable. I can understand obvious facial expressions (rage, sadness what have you) but not subtle ones. Apparently looking at someone's eyes is a window into understanding how they feel - well not for me.

Yeah, I can look people in the eyes, but it must be forced and it feels extremely uncomfortable.

Job interviews are the worst for this. If there's one situation where you absolutely have to keep doing the eye-contact thing, exude confidence, make sure your handshake's firm (but not too firm), walk a certain way, not stumble in your thoughts while you're looking at them.. and you have to keep it up for an hour plus. Not fun. Not fun at all.

It used to be quite fearful for me. I think in large part because I didn't do it naturally and the only time people ever said for me to explicitly look in their eyes, they were angry at me. So it seemed like something people only did to threaten one another.

however, I've now been complimented on my eye contact by two different people familiar with AS (on a psychologist). I've also found its easier to recognize people's faces if I've looked into their eyes. However, I have to make a concious effort to do it and soon as I need to think about something or the conversation is difficult I go back to looking at the mouth

Up until my mid-teens, I never looked anyone in the eye, and naturally most people thought that I was just extremely shy. Now I can maintain a little bit of eye contact, but as ev8 says it's extremely uncomfortable for me to do so, especially since most of the time my eyes are going all over the place in an attempt to automatically look down.

In reference to the job interviews, yes they are the worst when it comes to eye contact and I've noted this on several other posts as well. In an hour and 40 minutes I'll be trying to maintain eye contact in one interview and 2 hours after that I have yet another interview. This is going to be one hell of a tiring day!

I always figured that it is because I'm constantly trying to figure myself out. "The eyes are the window to the soul..." I don't want THEM to figure me out before I do.

People look away when they are lying or trying to keep a secret... Since I'm constantly thinking all of the time, I'm afraid that they'll know what I'm thinking, or will be able to see the images that flash in my mind-it's not much different... My thoughts are my personal space, they are MY thoughts, lol. ...no matter how illogical it seems, or how unrelated the thought is, I still don't want them to know until I figure it out on my own-it's kind of like keeping a secret in a way.

If I'm remotely making eye contact with someone, chances are I'm looking through or past them, not actually at them. In the odd circumstance that I actually AM making eye contact, chances are I am not hearing anything that is said.

All of what everyone above said.

Eye contact stresses me out. I feel exhausted after making too much eye contact. There definitely seems to be some sorta fight or flight thing going on when it happens. It's stressful enough just to be talking to the person. Adding eye contact into the equation....and yikes....
This especially applies to people I am unfamiliar with.

The best I can do is glance into their eyes for just a second and get it out of the way if I am obliged to do so.

Me too, until a teacher pointed it out to me. Then I started wondering why. I assume from your posts that it has to do with over-stimulation then and that I somehow instincively see eyes as threats. Like dogs do.


Good idea! I might start wearing them. At least I know they can't see me then.


Thats what I do! I didn't realise it until recently - but I've noticed it's also offputting because sometimes peoples mouths are funny or lopsided or they have horrible teeth (I have athing about teeth. YUK) and then I don't hear a word they say.

Does anybody ever feel that when someone looks in their direction they can't tell whether the person is looking at them, behind them or to the side of them? I have this a lot.

I have very embarrassing facial twitches when I look anyone in the eye.