I'm new and need help dealing with the school in Long Island

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Hi all, I'm a mom and new to this. My AS son is 6. He is in 2nd grade b/c he was too advanced academically for 1st grade. He is in mainstream classroom w/1:1 aide half day and in a spec. ed class for support the other half. He is high functioning, but still has a lot of behavioral issues. My problem is the school is very reactive on punishments for dealing with his behaviours ie: removal from mainstream class, being sent to the principal, etc., however they do not seem to deal with the antecedant issues at hand. I have told them many times that he has sensory issues, but they refuse to acknowledge this. In addition, he is so bored with the academics (he has tested around 5th grade level) that he is not learning anything. I have reviewed his text books and jumped ahead to the end where the lessons are most challenging and even that is too easy for him. Doesn't the school have an obligation to challenge him academically? I'm sure this total boredom has something to do with the behavioural issues as well. In addition, my son has told me that he is allowed to work independantly on the computer in school. Yesterday, he was able to do this for 40 minutes! We have a CSE review next week. What am I entitled to demand of them and how do I go about it?
Thank YOU!!

I don't know about where you live. But I do know that we are limited to the academic standards by our district. We have experienced all those same things. (the school being happy to document the sins of our son but not their own shortcomings) It's a nightmare sometimes.
If your son is that advanced and is becoming bored because of it, school may break his brain. We're still contemplating homeschool because of the same thing. My son doesn't get too bored while at school, but I've noticed that he is shutting off his gifted areas. Maybe to fit in?
School is about fitting in and waiting your turn. I don't think all kids need to learn that lesson. Especially at the expense of losing their gifts.

You can't ask them to challenge your son. I don't think.
If he likes other parts of school (socializing, friends, arts) then see if you can have him do independent study instead? If he doesn't like school, then homeschool him.

Hi Cynth. I lived on Long Island, Farmingdale, before moving to Pennsylvania. My son was diagnosed here in PA. So I cannot compare the services on LI vs here PA because we moved away before he was diagnosed.

I'm going through something similar with my AS son. He's in Kindergarden and was evaluated at a 2nd grade reading and math level. He finishes his work 20 mins before his classmates, so he acts up when he's not being challenged. So his teacher is giving him double assignments which keep him entertained, for now. I'm afraid if he gets bumped up a grade or two, he'll be out of place becasue he is still a 5 year old with older kids.

The school is also giving him lots of support. Autism, speech and occupational. Also, our county has an Aid with him at school, a behavioral therapist and a mobile therapist to work with us at home and public settings. We've contemplated moving back to LI to be closer to family, but we are so settled into a routine and his services, that we do not know what is offered back on LI.

Thanks for listening

Neither of my two sons (ages 21 and 11) were as gifted as your son seems to be, but the oldest was gifted enough to be in a program for gifted kids. The younger is more severely affected, but gets good grades as well. BOTH boys were immature, so you have this Catch 22 situation where your child is extremely advanced, and at the same time is extremely immature (at least that's what is usually the case with kids with aspergers).

If your son is totally enjoying the social aspect of school, I would keep him there. But if he's not, considering how advanced he is, I think I would homeschool him. Homeschooling is so great now -- LOTS of opportunities to interact with other kids through social groups formulated by other homeschooling parents. Homeschooling may also offer your son the opportunity to advance academically while at the same time gradually learning social skills without the pressure of performing at school.

My older, more gifted son had real rough times in school from about third grade through fifth. He just was so immature compared to his peers, and yet he was more advanced academically. We moved right then to Utah, where academics isn't real important, but being "nice" was, and amazingly enough, the middle school years were GREAT for him because of this. He also enjoyed being one of the smartest kids in the school.

My younger son was diagnosed just before we moved to California. We quickly realized California schools had NO IDEA how to handle kids on the spectrum correctly, and so we moved back to Pennsylvania, where we have lived for almost a decade off and on (we've moved back and forth many times). Pennsylvania is a great place for children on the spectrum, but even here, there's just so much that the school can do or is willing to do. Eventually, as the parent, we spend almost as much time teaching our son at home as he spends at school. The only reason we keep him in school is because he is doing well socially, and we don't want to mess that up. So even if you find a wonderful district where they seem to "get" asperger's and seem to understand your son, eventually you have to do a lot of work outside of school to either keep him up to grade level, or keep him up to his personal academic level.

What may happen is if you decide to homeschool, he may reach a point as an older child where he WANTS to go to school, and if he's motivated by that, then he might be ready for the social work that he will have to do in order to attend school at a later age.

Kris

From my experience, this half day regular class half day spec ed might damage your child's self-esteem...It did me. I am now 39 years old and can finally understand what happend back in 4th grade...yet, it distorted my view of myself for many, many years...It wasn't until I left college (I didn't think I was smart enough to ever earn antyhing there), and got a job that I began to gain my self esteem back. Again, I'm not saying every child is like that, but that's what happened to me. I do remember being in advanced classes sometimes in math as well, in 3rd, 4th, 9th, (basically anytime I was in the US schools), and then going to a different room...Even my music class I excelled at...in 4th grade I still remember singing something for the teacher and her flipping out over my voice and perfect pitch...first time I was ever in a music class at school...but you know, the back and forth completely damaged my self esteem.

I now homeschool my child. I do not believe that people who "study" kids and their ability to adapt to that type of back and forth can tell me that it does not damage a child, because it damaged me...Again, it doesn't damage every child, but I'm not taking any chances.

If you homeschool, especially in the US, there are tons of groups that get together for socializing, there are tons of sports, field days, etc...that you can do with other homeschoolers, etc...so, I would really give it a try if you are able to...

Get your boy diagnosed, so you know what you are really dealing with

Contact the school, and get and IEP set up, so that they know how to deal with you boy,
and are legally obligated to follow it.

It's tough when the teachers and administration don't get it.
My wife and I know that first hand.
A formal diagnosis with and IEP tends to get their attention.