Finding a boyfriend for a gay high functioning autistic?

Post Reply New Topic

I was diagnosed with autism when I was very young. I have improved over the years - I have actually come a long ways. I was in special education during my early years, mainstreamed in the 6th grade and struggled, became a bit famous for my academic abilities in high school, graduated from college with high honors, and now I am in my third year of medical school.

I do well academically, though I know I am different because my ability to socially interact and make friends is probably impaired. I never had any friends during my primary schooling, and at the current moment I'm struggling to pass my rotations clinically (though I pass the pencil and paper shelf exam at the end without difficulty).

I was wondering...are there any gays here who ultimately found a husband? What method did you use to find him/her? Do you have any advice? Thanks.

Gays can't marry in a lot of places.

that's exactly the same with me...


i am not gay and i've never been in any relationship so i cannot tell, but as far as i know, since i know some people who are gays, they have a lot of clubs where they can meet together. i have the impression that it would be easier to find someone if i were gay. am i wrong?

Easy, manhunt.com
Everyone whos some form of gay goes there, so he will have quite the selection..

I must say, despite the fact that I am not gay me and you are very much alike.

I too was DX'ed when I was quite young with HFA. I too was mainstreamed in 5-6th grade. I too had deans list and graduateded Magna Cum Laudd for my 2 year degree, tho the similarities stop their because I never finished to complete my 4 year degree, probably because of similar issues you are experiencing (tho i had friends, i could not stand roommate/dorm life)

I think me and u are shining examples of well... HFA children who make successful adults, we just had different paths after collage!

Keep up the good work, i do wish i could finish my schooling, well... we all have regrets, heh.

I am not gay but go to places where gays tend to congregate & try to correlate your interests to a gay man that you think you are in lust over.

And WHY would you do this?

I was not talking about me.

I'm not gay but I was at a gay bar with a few friends last monday and some guy said "your a hot young man. i bet your momma loves you". He asked me to go home with him 3 times.

How come I get hit on by guys but I have a hard time with women? Well... i'm bi but i still won't go home with some guy.

I'm gay and managed to find a "husband" just a little under three years ago. For everyone on the board, gays can't get married in many places but we tend to adopt the husband title if we're together for a long time. It's just easier than saying partner (too generic), boyfriend (not serious enough), lover (just too 70's and creepy).

I wouldn't recommend manhunt.com for anything serious at all and not EVERY gay guy goes there. That's a site for people looking for sex. Not relationships. I actually met my husband on match.com. I do much better meeting and interacting with people through email first. Not as much pressure and I don't have to worry about how weird I might seem in person. My husband actually told me recently that he almost didn't ask me out again because I didn't look him in the eye for most of our first date and he thought I was shifty. LOL

We have a lot of communication issues and he get frustrated with my lack of affection sometimes but we do our best to work through it. This happens in a lot of AS/NT relationships so it's not just a gay thing.

Good luck with finding a mate. Most of us have problems in that arena so you're definitely not alone. Just find a place that makes you most comfortable and you'll do fine. I recommend match.com or any other comparable online site first.

I'm also gay and I'd like to be married some day, hopefully soon. I don't think manhunt.com is really good for anything long term. And not every gay goes on it, I don't. I would imagine match.com would be more suitable for your endeavors.

It's hard to find someone you're compatible with physically as well as emotionally, and who wants the same things as you. People always ask me "Why is a guy like you single?" And I'm like "Find me a good man and I won't be"

There just aren't that many great guys around...

I sincerely wish you the best of luck!

Yeah... talk about making dating-life hard...

Gay minority, AS minority (I don't think many gay NTs would be too keen)...

Thus you have a double-minority to contend with, and a choice of about zero men you'll ever click with

This thread reminds me, what should I do with.. Certain occasional thoughts I have? I wouldnt really consider myself gay, is there such a thing as semi-bi? I mean, Ive fallen for guys before too, but normally I fantasize about females.
..Or am I just totally confused

I wouldn't worry about titles. More pidgeon-holing.

However most people would probably say you were bi-sexual with a female preference. And it's much more common than you presumably imagine. Certainly doesn't make you the least bit 'confused'.

Interesting. I have exactly the same thing (but I am not gay) and of my last crushes the majority of them were girls who I first got to meet on emails. It takes a frontier away and makes socialising easier, so by the time I met them in real I had the feeling I knew them a bit already and that was easier than meeting a completely "new" person.

I am sceptic about dating sites though. If there is a really good one then I would maybe try it, but I am sceptic.
Also my love for travelling would make it difficult because the first thing I need to know is "do you want kids? would you move abroad?". Most dating sites don't mention things like plans in life or prefered lifestyle and such. A dating site for travellers would be easy but I don't think this exists?

i'd imagine it would be harder for someone with aspergers who was strictly ghey to find a partner than say a streight in the same pirdicament