Need advice on making a move..

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Hi, I'm interested in this girl. (I'll call her Samantha for easyness)
I know her since school started (a month and a week ago) and I've always had this thought that she might like me.
I just went to the cinema with 2 male friends of mine and Samantha.
We sat next to each other.
It was a horror-flick, 1407 was the name, and she was quite scared.
She touched and held my arm a lot when she was scared.
At a certain moment, we held hands and i caressed her hand a bit which she did back a few times.

I feel this is a big enough sign to rely on to make a move.

However; i have no idea what that move should be.
I want to be subtle enough so i can back out incase i misjudged the whole thing but i want to be direct enough so she surely gets the picture.

Any tips or hints, I'd be most grateful.

NOTE: She goes to the same school as me but she's a year lower.

Last edited by AdrianB on 14 Oct 2007, 11:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'd offer advice, but the stalk-her-til-she-comes-around approach has a low success rate

It sounds like a pretty good sign. Since you want to be subtle enough so you can back out, you might consider taking things slowly. Friends often go out and do fun stuff together. For instance, you can hang out with her crowd of friends. Ask if she'd like to hang out at a local coffee place. Be a sympathetic ear when she wants to talk.

I know its easier said than done though...because I can say a bunch of things on how to make friends...but that doesn't mean I acutally make very many friends.

If you held hands and she reciprocated your gestures, that would seem to suggest that she was okay with you touching her like that.

I'd ask her out, personally. If you misread the signals, she'd soon set you straight...

This sounds promising, but first, you should probably ask yourself this question: "Are you truly attracted to her because you like her looks and/or personality, or do you just want to date her because of the warm feelings she gave you by holding your hand?" If you don't have much dating experience, small acts of affection, such as holding hands or hugging, can have a strong effect on your feelings toward a girl. As a result, you might find yourself wanting to date her because of what happened in the theater. (Similar things happened to me multiple times, so I know from personal experience.)

With that said, if you like her as a person, you should definitely ask her out. Just make you it's a one-on-one date, not a group outing. While on that date, flirt with her. Touch her at random moments, and make it look like an accident. (Example: while talking, touch her on the arm to emphasize a point.) See how she responds. If she smiles or does anything similar, then there's definitely some attraction there. If not, then maybe she just had an "affection moment", where she got frightened by the movie, and needed some comforting.

Hmmmm...
Maybe you should observe her more or be around her more often.
Ask her out again & see what happens.
I have my fingers crossed. Good luck my friend!

Are you saying she's easy? Or that Samantha is an easy
name to deal with? Wouldn't something shorter be even
better?



Hell yes! Even I can see that.
Not that I'd've taken the first
chance.



Uhm...how about a kiss?

Damn...your story is exactly like mine in so many ways.

I would ask her out...and hope you don't have the same luck as me. I tried to ask a girl out after pretty much just that, and it made things complicated, but I don't believe for a second that I made the wrong move. I just got unlucky. I wish you the best of luck!

Okay; based on what you guys said, I've come up with a "scheme".

I'm going to ask her phone number to a mutual friend. (OR, I'll ask her via MSN)
This (or tomorrow) evening, I'll text her asking if she'd like to take a walk (for a smoke for example). (I can also do this via MSN if she's online.)
If she agrees, I'll meet her at a certain place, we'll walk around and I'll just blatantly ask her 'Was there anything going on between us during that movie?'.
If she says yes, I don't yet really know what to do except trying to give her a (small) kiss and/or hug. (Still need some advice on this )
If she says no, I'll just say I've misunderstood it completely.

[EDIT:]Crap, just realised I'll have to ask her via MSN since I don't have any money on my prepaid cellphone card left (and no money to refill either )


Also, @Aspie1; I understand what you mean but I've always liked her, before this all happened..
I've always had this physical attraction to her..
We always got along great, I can make a damn lot of fun with her and we're both laughing our asses off all the time.
I can also talk really smoothly with her about all kinds of things.

I really don't suggest this.
Instead, just arrange a situation
where you might touch again,
and be prepared to push just a
bit further. You want to strike when
there are emotions, not coldly.

I've thought about that too.
It's easier and a lot more spontaneous but the thing is; the chance might not pop up again soon.
Maybe next weekend, maybe in a month.

Point is; I'm fed up with always waiting in these situations, I want to make this happen, I'm not letting this chance fly by like the previous times just because i prefer to stay passive.

NOTE: We go to the same school but she's a year lower then me..

Oh, you MAKE the chance. Invite her to
another movie. Or, go for that walk, and
just take her hand. These things are best
NOT discussed first, that's all.

You're a genius, what you said has just been confirmed by 4 adults i know
I'm going to do just that; ask her for a walk tomorrow or the day afterwards and take her hand or give her a small kiss on the cheeks.

Thanks a lot guys, you're a great help!

Hell yeah. My advice is often perfect.
I just don't have the guts to effect it.

I know it's hard to actually rely on your own judgement but sometimes you shouldn't think about it.
You always lack the guts to do something when you overthink is and constantly try to find flaws in your judgement.

First off, a year lower is no prob, girls like guys who are older than them.

Now, here's what you should do.

Ask her out to another movie. She likes you. Or at least, that's what her body language in that movie said. Ahe wants you, If you dont ask her out soon though, she'll give up. So just ask her.

She won't say no. She's given you indicators that she likes you, conscious ones, so she'll understand that you have reason to think she likes you. Now, when you ask her out, if she says she'll need to check with her parents to make sure she isnt busy, ask to trade phone numbers.

During the movie, put your arm around her shoulder. If she leans in toward you, that's a really good sign. Now stroke her hair. If she doesnt object, she's very comfortable with you.

Here's how to go for the kiss, if she shows she's very comfortable. After the movie, outside the theater, give her a hug. As you begin to let go, stop with your hands on her hips and look into her eyes and angle your head towards hers a bit. If she makes eye contact and holds it for half a second and doesnt move away, kiss her, she wants you to. Just do it, or she'll think "This guy could've kissed me and didnt have the nerve".

Now, let's say she doesnt want to go out with you, either you waited to long, or messed something up, know this:

Something about you attracted this girl, in that movie theater, she felt a connection. You aren't some slob who will never go out with a girl in his life, you're someone who can attract a girl. View whatever happens as a learning experience. If you succeed congrats. If not, find out what you did wrong, you can learn not to do it next time.

So that's my advice. Good luck my friend! Any questions, PM me.