Overwhelmed, don't know what to do...fun fun...

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I feel as though I've run into a very thick brick wall and there's no way around it. That's a bit dramatic, but it gets my point across.

I've had trouble with school for a while now, mostly procrastination. I'm told by everyone that I'm just being lazy and using the computer as a excuse to not do my work, but no one believes me when I say I use the computer because I CAN'T do my work. No one seems to understand that even if I was locked in a room with no electronics and just my homework in front of me, I still wouldn't be able to do it. When it comes to those important homework assignments worth half your grade, I come up at a blank. I'll sit there staring at it for about five minutes, then probably start bouncing my eraser againest the wall or something.

I'm not officially diagnosed with AS, but I have a strong idea that I do have it. Does it matter anyway? What matters to me is that I have the symptoms and they ARE interfering with my life, so I don't think it should matter whether or not some doctor says I have it or not.

Now that I'm writing this I'm a bit confused about what I wanted to ask...one thing is that I've toyed with the idea of asking for an official diagnosis. I'm worried if I do that my school will put me in the Special Ed class for whatever reason. I have nothing againest the kids in Special Ed personally, but I've seen how people talk about them. I've worked so hard to get the friends I have, I think it'll kill my sanity if I have to start all over again. The second issue is that if I AM diagnosed, my mother will hate me. I can tell, all she'll see is the Aspergers Syndrome from her failed abusive relationship. That is definitely what I do not want to be.

I NEED this extra help though. If teachers were willing to make just a few small adjustments for me, I could breeze through the year. I don't want straight A's handed to me on a platter, that's boring. I just want a little bit of consideration and the understanding that maybe what works for the 'normal' students, may not work so well for me. All of my teachers are already fed up with me though. I'm the student who never talks, never participates and has less then outstanding grades. Just the student they wished they never had.

So...I guess I'm asking for advice...? I think...has anyone else ever experienced this weird homework blank and is there anyway to work around it or something? It could be so easy as writing an essay on a lemur, but for some reason when I'm reading the instructions I don't know what to do. What does she want me to start with? The lemurs eating habits or what it looks like? What if it goes over two pages? Will I get points off for that? I start thinking questions like that and it throws me off. I won't even get into presentations because I never know what to do for those.

((Note: I just read over this...sorry it's so jumbled. I'm just really confused for the most part.))

Well, as my mother always says, a bad paper is better is better than no paper. Don't worry about the restrictions, just get something on paper, turn it in and then if the teacher says, "what is this?" You say, well, that's what you asked for, isn't it? And then maybe ask for a counselor or something. At least they'll know that you're trying then.

What modifications, exactly, do you think would help?

I can so relate to you. I've starred at assignments for hours. Luckily, my parents have always helped me, and these days I don't have the problem as much.

I would tell your teachers almost EXACTLY what you wrote here on the board. They are human too, no matter how inhuman they can seem sometimes.

I definitely have sat for entirely too long knowing that I must complete an assignment. For awhile, I never completed them. I eventually started doing them just to get them out of my life.

Not talking to your mom or your teachers is very similar to procrastinating on homework. It's something that you know you SHOULD do, but you're just stuck.

Don't feel you HAVE to be diagnosed before you can discuss getting extra help from teachers. That's why they are there. Just ask them. I assure you that most of them will be relieved that you want to perform better. If you need to, just ask the most approachable teacher first.

Just be sincere about your worries and problems. And then follow through with your end of the bargain.

If they don't know HOW to help you, it makes the remedy more difficult to attain.

I think you should consider geting tested for AS or a learning disability.This way you can legally get the help you need. Your school can not force you into special ed because of a diagnosis of Aspergerger's Syndrome. I have AS, OCD and some site problems, yet I was never in a learning suppor class, I wasn't even in the common coriculum courses but the higher learning ones. With a diagnosis you have several options you can get an IEP (individual education plan) or a 504 plan set up to meet your needs in an normal classroom. If your worried about your mom's response you could try to explain or have someone explain it to her. I don't think she should hate you for it. You should think about what the best thing for you would be. If that means seeking help than get the help you need because it is your life, you must live it.