Horrible experience at University

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This is my first post so I guess I should introduce myself: I'm 21 years old and I'm in my 3rd year studying Film and Broadcast Production (with a focus on scriptwriting) in London. I haven't been officially diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome but two separate people brought it up and suggested that I had it without me ever mentioning it. I reacted angrily when the girl said it (her dad has aspergers and I suspect she has to some degree as she's famed for her honesty amongst her friends...) and I bit her head off about it as I'm somewhat ashamed of it and didn't want confirmation of something I couldn't change. I'm booked in with a GP next week and I hope I can get him to give me a referral to a specialist.

Anyway, I was at a party in my Halls of Residence trying my hardest to be social and by the end of the night I had got into an argument with someone (he was saying my behaviour was unacceptable - it seemed normal to me so I became confrontational) which I couldn't handle and as a result I had a meltdown which manifested itself as an extreme burst of anger; I pushed him away from me and stormed off, however 3 other people began to punch me in the head and face. The guy I pushed away rescued me, took me outside and then said he didn't expect me to react that way and as a PE teacher he knew about Asperger's Syndrome (bear in mind I've never mentioned it to anyone).

It was a horrible experience and those kind of meltdowns are rare as I've tended to avoid social situations for the past 6 years; even when I was being bullied at school I never received that kind of treatment. On top of the cuts to my face and the back of my head, it hurts to open my jaw and my nose hurts like hell if I put pressure on it... I'm terrified to go outside now and I just don't know what to do.

Welcome.

That all sounds pretty familiar except, by the third year of university, I would think that you could find students who were less reactive and physical and more accepting of difference. Especially given your major.

You might want to avoid social activities with the group you were with. (I realize you are living with them. I never lived in a dorm. I either lived at home or in off-campus housing when I was in college.) I was bullied some in my freshman year, and throughout the period from 7th grade through high school (I'm speaking of American schools here.), but, by the time I got to my second year of college, I was able to find people I could deal with. That just got better, as I got older, for the most part.

You certainly, by the way, sound like an aspie. I know that you've had some pretty bleak experiences, but I'm quite sure that finding some more accepting students (try folks in your major, theater, the college radio station if there is one, etc.) will make the coming days a lot brighter.

And, stay in touch.

I hope you get medical attention, make sure nothing is broken or requires stitches. Is there anyone who can accompany you while you seek it? I know what it's like to want to hide after some type of confrontation with others. It's terrifying, especially since others got physically aggressive with you. I'm sorry that happened to you.

It sounds like there are some people you need to apologize to. As to the ones who should apologize to you, don't hold your breath waiting for them to do so. See if you can find someone kind who would be willing to coach you in appropriate behaviour.

Well, I've lived in the same halls for 3 years and each year there are different students with the exception of 20 people from the previous year. The place is split up into flats/apartments and is more like a standard apartment complex than a dorm. Over the years people have taken a disliking to things I've said so now I've just stopped talking, I find it difficult to make friends with others because I usually say something that's perceived as offensive, negative or otherwise horrible... However, there are a few people on my course who I'm comfortable being friendly with but unfortunately they don't live anywhere near me.

I had such stressful experiences with the group and presentation work that this year I've gone for independent projects so I don't have to deal with people; I remember last year another student and I were talking (we have mutual friends) about my difficulties with small talk and making friends, he said: "Can I be honest? Last year I didn't like you at all" ... "You would say things and I would think 'Why did he say that?'". I was shocked that he ever thought that because during my first year I was trying so hard to be friendly, his reaction was the complete opposite of what I expected. A lot of people who self-diagnose really like the AS label as it gives them an excuse for their behaviour but with all due respect to everyone on this forum, I hate being an aspie... I just feel its something that's ruining my life and destroying any chance I have at normal relationships.

That's why I got so angry with the girl who suggested I had it, she was basically confirming what I had disregarded... it was a problem I couldn't ever fix, something I was stuck with for the rest of my life. I hate the social aspects of film making but I love screenwriting as I have a near complete visual memory and can [visually] construct whole chunks of a film in my mind and move through them as if it was a 3D model. Many teachers and lecturers have said that my work is excellent and on par with many professional writer's screenplays... So I guess AS has given me an edge in certain scenarios, but I'd give it up for a normal life...

Unfortunately not as my family live quite far away. If I put pressure on the bone around my nose it hurts slightly but I just think its bruised and not broken; I think I'll leave it and not get it seen to; luckily the person who was punching me in the face had a weak punch...


I'm not apologising to them as I really don't want to see or hear them ever again... I've worked so hard over the years to try to be normal and they undid all of that in 5 minutes. The lesson I've learnt: "If you try to be normal then you get a punch in the face". I just want to drop out of Uni and go home...

why don't you get officially diagnosed and report the incident.
those guys could get expelled from university.

I don't like being an aspie. My life would have been much easier if I were not. I certainly don't like the fact that my kids are autistic. I think, every day, about how hard things are and will be for them.

But, I do know that things can get better from where you are. I wouldn't start by apologizing to anyone.

But, you do have to find one or two people (that's not bad...you're never going to be "big man on campus") who are willing to see your positive qualities and tell you when you are out of line without rejecting you completely.

You're never going to be "normal," so the heck with that. You have to learn to work with what you've got and find the strengths among the weaknesses.

I had two friends in high school, amid all of the bullying. One of them called me the other day when I didn't show up at the 40th reunion. We grew up in New Jersey. I still live here. He lives in Colorado. We hadn't spoken in about 38 years. He called me when he got back to Colorado and we spoke for about an hour. He may have been one of my two friends in high school, amid horrible physical bullying, but he is a friend indeed.

They are there for you too.

the incident is really a shocking one and raises my fear too.
i also have avoided social contact for past 4 years very extensively(for example i didnt talk to people for days).but now as i got into univarsity i also tried to get a bit social and which turned out to be mess.the only thing i get out from all the effort i made to sociliate with people is the bad reputation of being arrogant,loner,egoistic,angry,sensitive,weired blah blah blah.so i just end up all my effort to get along with people.
though i wasnt physically violated but i was too much emotionally abused and i also fear what u have gone through.
i think for us better option is tokeep us to ourself as much as we can