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Coldplay200000
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21 Oct 2007, 12:27 pm

This is to all of my fellow aspies out there who are single. It's not the end of the world for you and there still is hope for you. I was diagnosed with asperger's in 10th grade, and I'm 21 now. I have to tell you all that in high school, I was not accepted by anybody. I was an outsider. For the most part I liked it, except for the ridicule and torture the other kids put me through. The other part I didn't like about it was being single. I'm sure all of you know what it's like to be single in high school and look around seeing couples everywhere you turn. It makes you feel lonely, it sure did me. Of course I had crushes and little friends that I liked, but I never had a girlfriend of my own.

It actually wasn't until November of '06 that I actually found true love. I know it sounds like a fantasy to call it that, but that's what it is. The story goes like this. About two weeks into November, I decided I'd take one last look on Cupid.com to see if anyone new had made a profile. I had already been on the site for about 2 & 1/2 years and I figured this one last time would actually be the last time I tried it. But as I was browsing, I came across the profile of a girl who had just became a new member a week earlier. She was still in high school and had just turned 18. I got her IM and began talking to her online, just as friends at first though. She and I instantly connected and about a week later we met in person at her school. It was a mutual meeting of only 15 minutes or so, but it was enough to meet and talk for a bit.

Later that night she and I talked more about another possible meeting. It was then she decided that she wanted me to meet her parents. Time for me to make a good impression. Two days before Thanksgiving, it was a tuesday evening, she and I were talking online yet again and at 10:12 pm on Nov 21 (I'll never forget it) is the day we agreed to officially become bf/gf. Three days later is when I went to her house to meet her parents. I can honestly say I was nervous as hell, but honestly, who wouldn't be when meeting the parents of your significant other (unfortunately guys especially have to be well behaved, one screw up and her father will kill you). But the evening went well and at the end, she and I had our first bf/gf romantic touch, it wasn't serious, just a loving hug.

On our next date, I picked her up from school and we went to the mall to see Happy Feet. There was time to walk around before the movie actually started and so we did. This was the day we had our first kiss. I'll never forget it either. We were standing in a corner of the mall, near the inside entrance to Target (not a real romantic place but it worked). Today is now October 21st, her and I are celebrating our 11 month anniversary, and this coming friday, on the 26th, we will be officially engaged for four months.

So to all of you guys and girls out there who are thinking you'll never find anyone, be patient, your time will come. Ladies, a the trick for you is to be open and not be so picky. You may have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, but he'll come to you. Guys, for you, don't be so anxious to find a girl, just be slow and calm. Be yourself, but also be a gentleman at the same time. If you've ever heard the expression "You get more with sugar than with vinegar" it applies to this situation in most cases. Sure every now and then you might find a girl who's into the "bad boy" type, and she may be, but she's still a lady and would every now and then like to be treated like one. It's not all about sex, it's about an emotional connection between your two hearts. My girl and I still haven't had sex yet, she wants to wait until marriage, but I'm fine with that. So bottom line, girls, don't be so fickle and guys don't be such horn dogs.

Alex and Katie, I'm glad I was able to meet you two this weekend and I'm glad I learned about this site. And if any of you need romance advice, feel free to ask me anything you like, I'll most likely be able to help in your situation.

Sincerely
Dan



richardbenson
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21 Oct 2007, 2:34 pm

what an adorable story Image

however maybe when im 30 i'll try harder finding a girl, right now my girl is the mountains. and she needs all my attention and rightfully so. shes over 12,000 feet tall


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Sedaka
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21 Oct 2007, 2:41 pm

best wishes!


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pbcoll
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21 Oct 2007, 3:41 pm

i found love when i was 17, and it went sour. that was the only relationship i've ever been in, and i'm almost 25. now, what girl would want someone my age who has only ever had one girlfriend? in any case, i've come to the conclusion that love is a luxury not for me.



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21 Oct 2007, 3:50 pm

love is not for everyone nor it 's everything (even if it's a fundamental thing in human's life) and as you said it's not the end of the world if someone can't have a gf/bf , there's a lot of other things in life that you might enjoy other than love/marriage even , being single has its advantages too even if you feel some emptiness inside sometimes and this emptiness might grow with time .....but there's no benefit in whining .
Everything in life has its pros and cons .



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21 Oct 2007, 8:16 pm

pbcoll wrote:
i found love when i was 17, and it went sour. that was the only relationship i've ever been in, and i'm almost 25. now, what girl would want someone my age who has only ever had one girlfriend? in any case, i've come to the conclusion that love is a luxury not for me.


My uncle had to wait until he was 55 years old before he found "true love." A long time to wait, but a testament to the fact that it's never too late.



Frogburgers_Syndrome
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21 Oct 2007, 8:17 pm

there is no hope for any of us: we have Asperger's syndrome.



spokane
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21 Oct 2007, 8:28 pm

i didnt readany of this and am sorry



Ziyaret
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21 Oct 2007, 8:46 pm

Hmmmmmmm...........
You know what, I met the right person the first time at age 19 but I f****d up and no she's looooong gone. :cry:
Ever since Ive been trying to find someone of that type but Im still searching. I guess you were lucky that you got it right the 1st time Coldplay200000. Most people Dont. I have to wonder what percentage of people end up marying their 1st romantic partner... :?



Sedaka
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21 Oct 2007, 10:37 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
love is not for everyone nor it 's everything (even if it's a fundamental thing in human's life) and as you said it's not the end of the world if someone can't have a gf/bf , there's a lot of other things in life that you might enjoy other than love/marriage even , being single has its advantages too even if you feel some emptiness inside sometimes and this emptiness might grow with time .....but there's no benefit in whining .
Everything in life has its pros and cons .


are you being the kettle or the pot?


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Sedaka
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21 Oct 2007, 10:38 pm

Ziyaret wrote:
Hmmmmmmm...........
You know what, I met the right person the first time at age 19 but I f**** up and no she's looooong gone. :cry:
Ever since Ive been trying to find someone of that type but Im still searching. I guess you were lucky that you got it right the 1st time Coldplay200000. Most people Dont. I have to wonder what percentage of people end up marying their 1st romantic partner... :?


it would have been nice had i never had to face the truth


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gwenevyn
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21 Oct 2007, 11:01 pm

A sweet story indeed! My aspie sister and her aspie fiance have an equally heart-warming story. ^_^

Welcome to WP! Hope to see you posting more. :)


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ToadOfSteel
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21 Oct 2007, 11:07 pm

WEll it is nice to know that 55 isn't too late... that gives me 36 years to pull off a miracle...



Safire
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22 Oct 2007, 12:50 am

pbcoll wrote:
i found love when i was 17, and it went sour. that was the only relationship i've ever been in, and i'm almost 25. now, what girl would want someone my age who has only ever had one girlfriend? in any case, i've come to the conclusion that love is a luxury not for me.


Actually for someone like me (I have had virtually no relationships) the fact that my bf had been in several made me uncomfortable. Some girls will find comfort in not having specters hanging over their heads. Few things are quite as deflating than that sinking feeling that the "other woman" made better pancakes or was hotter in bed or just generally did something that you feel insecure about better. Of course I'm also fairly competitive so maybe normal girls don't feel like they are competing with their bf's exes... but knowing women they probably do.



pbcoll
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22 Oct 2007, 7:58 am

Safire wrote:
pbcoll wrote:
i found love when i was 17, and it went sour. that was the only relationship i've ever been in, and i'm almost 25. now, what girl would want someone my age who has only ever had one girlfriend? in any case, i've come to the conclusion that love is a luxury not for me.


Actually for someone like me (I have had virtually no relationships) the fact that my bf had been in several made me uncomfortable. Some girls will find comfort in not having specters hanging over their heads. Few things are quite as deflating than that sinking feeling that the "other woman" made better pancakes or was hotter in bed or just generally did something that you feel insecure about better. Of course I'm also fairly competitive so maybe normal girls don't feel like they are competing with their bf's exes... but knowing women they probably do.


almost all girls about my age have had a lot more experience than me, and it seems most women want a man who is no less experienced than they are.



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22 Oct 2007, 9:18 am

pbcoll wrote:
i found love when i was 17, and it went sour. that was the only relationship i've ever been in, and i'm almost 25. now, what girl would want someone my age who has only ever had one girlfriend? in any case, i've come to the conclusion that love is a luxury not for me.


You're only 25. You will still have plenty of chances. By the way, I am the same age and never had a relationship so you see there are people doing even worse than you :)


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