At boiling point. . . . Now what?

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Please help

My name is Brett, I have something that is called "aspergers syndrome"
I've heard that not much is known about AS. it only was discovered in the mid 1980's. Well Anyway I wasn't diagnosed until 1996. Well let me tell you having this condition really puts a damper on my life. It clouds my judgement to do alot of things! Espcially trying to get my words out!! !
When I have something insightful to say all that comes out of my mouth is
Half spoken gibberish!! ! Makes me look mentally ret*d!! ! And people laugh! Having relationships with females???? Forget it!! ! I can imagine sitting at a local resturant on a date with the girl of my dreams. With my heart on the line. . . . about to pop the big question. all that comes out of my mouth is . Wi. . wi. . .wi. . . like me??" Now that does wanders for my self esteem! And to make things worse. Most people treat me like a child (I am 25) I live by myself with no help. (Not that i need it). I am on the Brink of exploding as i type this! I have simply had enough and i feel the only option now is suicide,
And as for body language wtf is the point?? Verbal is enough!! !
Maybe it's time to start typing my eulogy?


I lost hope!

No, maybe it's time to use a speaking communicator like Amanda does. On Ballastexistenz she posts about how much better life became for her when she stopped speaking (often saying random things she did not mean at all) and started using a communicator. You can pick a voice for the communicator that sounds sorta close to your voice.

Get help. Call 911 or seek out a psychologist/psychiatrist immediately. You need professional help.

Suicide is nothing to joke about it. I told you to get help because you mentioned that you felt that "suicide was your only option".

There is a saying: Ignorance is no excuse. However, most people will base how they treat you of how they see you. To them, you appear ret*d, we know that you arn't, but how are they to know?

Its not that people are intentionally trying to be rude or hurt your feelings, its just that they don't know better. A study (please don't quote me on this, my numbers could be wrong), show that verbal communication accounts for only 10% of communication between people.

The point about body language? It can be pointless saying one thing an meaning another, but weather we like it or not, its something that NTs use to communicate.

Also, (again, correct me if I'm wrong), but AS doesn't have 'Half spoken gibberish' as one of its defining characteristics, so please don't blame it.

I guess the point I was trying to make before I rambled was: People are ignorant because they don't know better. We can but educate them. If someone talks to you as if you are ret*d, tell them that you arn't, that you just have problems with maintaining sentance coherency.