Dear People Who Are In The Elevator With Me

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Please stop making small talk to me, I am not interested in you. Thanks.

dear taxicab driver:

i'm ignoring you and staring out of the window at the trees for a reason..

But noone's trying to be mean. They are just taking an interest in you.

What if you don't care for their interest?

Dear greeters in the bank and video store: Please don't startle the crap out of me, by ambushing me from behind a display with "Hi! How are you?"

Dear grocery store clerks,

I am sorry for the awkward silence punctuated by lame attempts at normal conversation. I do not know what I am supposed to talk to you about, how long, or exactly when.

Dear tech support,

please don't talk down to me, just because YOU think the old lady on the other end of the phone probably doesn't have a clue, I actually WAS doing tech support when you were in diapers.

Merle

PS and don't start your conversation with "uh. . .I really am not up to speed on that software but I can give it a shot" just transfer me to someone that won't do what I have already done.

Dear girl in my Tuesday afternoon class,

I'm sorry that you're going through hard times and I'm sorry I don't know the right gestures of sympathy to express to you.

Love,
Me

Dear lady at the fabric store who is cutting my fabric:

Please don't ask me what I'm making with the fabric that I'm purchasing. It's none of your business and I have no desire to explain to you what a weighted blanket is.

Dear Aspy;

What a lonely place this world would be if no one spoke to each other because no one could tell when it was okay to talk to someone.
Perhaps you could find a simple expression to tell people you prefer silence, or wish to be alone.
Just as some people's brains are not wired for small talk... some people's brains are wired for connecting with the world around them even through conversation with strangers.
Wouldn't it be nice if both sides could find a middle ground where feelings could be expressed and respected?

Love,
Mark... the guy who can't keep his mouth shut sometimes, or keep his eyes from wandering all over the place sometimes, or keep his body still in the elevator/theater/checkout line/classroom seat...

Dear lady cutting my hair:

Hello, First off I think you are doing a terriffic job (as indicated by my generous tip) and that you are a very nice person, while I enjoy coming in and saying hello, I dont want to talk to you anymore for 2 reasons:

1) I dont like small talk beyond 'Hi'
2) I can enjoy the feeling of my hair being cut if I have to keep coming up with responses to your questions and having to keep processing everything you say.

Sorry

You live in NY... you have someone cut your hair... are you one of those folks who get $800 haircuts?

#2... do you mean, "I can't enjoy..."?

Concerning the members here at WP...
If we want all people to accept that we are 'different' from them (NT's and anyone else), then where is the acceptance that those other people are 'different' from us?

I believe everyone here has a right to be left alone if they wish.
To have that wish granted 100%, you need to stay completely away from people.
To go out in public means you will interact with people.
It is our responsibility to sometimes inform others about our wishes.
It is their responsibility to respect those wishes.
The latter cannot do their job unless the former do theirs.
Find a way to let them know you do not wish to talk back-and-forth, or even in one direction.

I am finding this an interesting thread though.

wsmac:

Maybe u are taking this thread too seriously?

I am actually extremely tolerant of those different from me. In fact, usually WAY too tolerant to a degree I've never found anyone give me back.

And usually when people make small talk, I recognize their need for it and reply pleasantly even if and when I don't want.. even though it's uncomfortable.. even when I'd rather be anywhere doing anything else but..

just thought it would be a fun thread to add to and voice your feelings in.

There is nothing wrong with connecting with others, in fact, I think that most of us would get very lonely if we didn't connect with others on some level. My point is that there is nothing gained by either one of us by chattering in an elevator. Neither of our lives are enriched by this inane conversation. I would like to get in, punch my floor button, and wait out the ride looking at the stains in the carpet. To me, chatter in situations in the elevator (or checkout line, or waiting on hold with tech support, etc) is dumb and useless. There are plenty of times where talking is necessary or enriching, like interaction with your family, group discussions in class, talking to your therapist or clergy member, interaction at work. These little things that NTs do though, just rub me like a grain of salt to an oyster.

Dear Wsmac,
Please don't mess up our wet dream of saying to people what we obviously don't in real life. We always have to play it by their rules of communication and would just sometimes like it if we were the ones that got our wishes defered to. Not everything needs to be 'fixed'.

Merle

Dear Party-Goer

I was coerced into coming to the party anyway, so please ignore the fact that I'm standing alone at the edge of the room. I'll only bore the blazes out of you in 2 minutes flat and then we'll both be embarrassed: me because yet another person has walked away and you because you're having to make up some lame excuse to leave me.

xxx

I was sooo lucky last night. My barber focused on cutting my hair and, for once, didn't want to talk about the Washington Redskins or what I did over the weekend. Huzzah!