More of my recent Writing

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Over the time I've been away, I've done a fair bit of new writing, and I even have a brand new story, Willing to Do, to add on top of the 8 Part Outcast Series and DestiQuest. Anyways, here it is:



Clarrissa led Koise out of the room and onto a balcony overlooking the lower floor. The place looked pretty rundown. Not messy, but definitely very used and worn.
“Sheesh,” Koise said, “This place looks more creepy than the Bates Motel!”
“Oh, one more thing,” Clarrissa added, “While we do have running water, we don’t have it inside the building, so we don’t have a proper shower room.”
“Oh goody…!” Koise remarked, and Clarrissa led him downstairs.
“Our knives are pretty blunt too…” she added, “You see it’s not that we use them a lot, it’s that we keep getting the bloody second hand ones! I’m telling ya, it takes an hour to peel the vegetables...”
“So, when do I meet the crew?” Koise asked.
“What’s that?” Clarrissa said, stopping on her way down the stairs.
“I said when do I meet the crew?”
Short pause.
“Where’d you get that? It’s really catchy!”
“I, uh… I just, say it. It’s just normal speak where I’m from.”
“Oh, really? I could’ve sworn you got that from some really cool town nobody’s ever heard of…”
Koise carried a quizzical look on his face as he walked down to the lower area.




“Zoe,” Koise asked, “Is there anything you look forward to?”
“Huh?”
“What’s one of the things you look forward to in life?” Koise knew that Zoe wasn’t feeling too bright again, and wanted her to feel that way once more. Zoe pondered for a few seconds.
“Sleeping.” She said.
Koise got a bit alarmed, as he knew that sleeping would most likely be because she wants to die, and sleeping would be the easiest way to do it without harming anyone.
“Sleeping, why?” he asked.
“Because I can do things I couldn’t usually do in real life.”
“In your dreams?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me about your favourite one.”
Zoe thought some more.
“My favourite one is that I’m in a garden. I’ve never seen a garden except in the book you showed me… it’s my garden… and I’ve planted everything and made it grow… and there’s no-one there but me, just me and all the plants that I’ve grown all around me…” “…silly…” she said to herself.
“No it isn’t.” Koise replied. “Everyone has fantasies Zoe, possible or not. Right now my biggest fantasy is just getting home. I don’t think I’ll ever have that one realised, unless I can find a way to travel through time… but I’ll tell you what, if I ever do find a way to get back there, I’ll take you with me, and Clarrissa and Aiko, maybe Marilyn too. You can get your own little house, with a front and back yard. You can have the back yard all to yourself to plant and grow things, like Daffodils, Tulips, bushes, trees and vegetables. How’s that sound?”
“…very sweet.” Zoe replied. “No-one apart from Clarrissa has ever made that sort of promise to me before.”
“It’s because we care about you, Zoe. We really do, and we’d hate it if anything ever happened to you. Aiko and Marilyn feel the same way too. Don’t worry, we’ll look after you.”





I was walking back down the hallway from my visit to my cousin when I saw her. Room CE-14 I believe it was. I had just finished my shift here because I work as a nurse. Yes yes, I know, a nurse. But I just refer to myself as the medicine man, because that’s all I really do; carry medicines and syringes around to people. Turns out I had actually forgotten about the patient inside who needed some drugs, so I went back to get her needed medicines. As I went to her room, some teenagers exited the room. An exotic bunch, I thought they were. I knocked on the door, and then walked in.
“Hello.” I said.
“Hello.” The patient replied. She was a Renon about 16 years old, or at least looked like it, and she had some lovely white fur, which is a real rarity, for sure. Her iris’, as a result, were a pearlescent blue-purple colour. She also had long hair, and it would probably reach her knees if she grew it a bit more.
“My name is Volodja Harin. I’m the one to prepare your medicine today.”
“Okay.”
I took out some pills and filled up a glass of water at the sink.
“So, what are you in here for?” I asked.
“I do not want to tell you.”
“That’s okay,” I reassured, “I get that all the time. You’re name’s Kipohan Lamron, right?” I said, taking out the glass from under the tap and looking at her name on the clipboard.
“No, it is not.”
“Oh damn, do I have the wrong room?”
“No, you do not.”
“Then your name mustn’t be Kipohan Lamron, then.”
“No. My name is Kipo Lamron.”
“Kipo, huh? I like it.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I then dropped in two pills into the water and watched them dissolve in the water. The drug, or medicine as I prefer to call it by, was Oxytin Flouron. Basically it releases chemicals into the body to help calm them down, and not have any bad thoughts, like self harm and the like. I took a long spoon and stirred the water in the glass.
“Who were those people coming out of your room a while earlier?”
“They are people I know.” Kipo replied.
“Ah.” I finished stirring the glass and put it on the tabletop next to Kipo’s bed. “Now I want you to drink one third of this every three hours.”
“Okay. I will only be able to drink it three times before the glass will be empty, so if I am required to drink more then I will need a greater quantity of glasses with my medicine in it.”
“Well you’re supposed to only drink one glass a day, and if I give you any more than I would be giving you an overdose, which would have some bad side-effects.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll be here again tomorrow for your next dose, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Bye!”
“Goodbye.”
And then I exited the room.

Kipo was a curious person. Her speaking sounded quite literal, so she said sentences with each individual word rather than alongstringofwordsarrangedasasentencelikethis. I also noticed that she never made eye contact with me, and she stayed very still and kept very quiet, only saying anything when I asked her something. She seemed quite like my cousin in a way, with those traits.

Of course I didn’t think much of this, and I remembered her the next day for her medicine. I knocked on her door once again and was let in by one of the people I saw exit her room the day before.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” I replied.
I walked in, and I could tell by the feeling in the air that it wasn’t a very good situation. It was proven when another of the people Kipo knew said
“But Kipo, we didn’t mean badly of you! We didn’t know when you would be ready to hear it!”
“It felt like you meant badly.” Kipo replied, “If you had cared about me, you would have told me!” Kipo sounded angry, and I noticed she actually sounded awkward like that, as if she hadn’t been angry for many, many years.
“I do care about you! I’ve looked after you for over four years, on my own accord! You’re lucky you even know someone like me!”
Kipo stayed silent, as she had nothing to say. Except, a few seconds later, when she said “Get out of my hospital room.”
“What?”
“Get out of my hospital room!”
The person Kipo was talking to frowned, and then left, with the other three following after. I waited a few seconds after the door closed before I did anything.
“You okay?”
“No.”
I prepared her medicine again and set it on the table. I noticed on the glass I gave her the day before that there were rings in it from the medicine exactly one third further down the glass than the one above it.
“Do you feel like telling me why you’re here?” I asked again. Kipo didn’t reply. “It’s okay, you can trust me.”

***

Usually I do not like talking to people about my personal life if I do not know them. I also do not like looking into people’s eyes. But when I looked into Volodja’s eyes, I liked them. I could not take my eyes off of them, and I felt a little bit happy.
***
“Okay.” Kipo said. I then sat down onto her bedside and listened to what she had to say. Basically what happened is that Kipo had moved out of her house with Clarene, the one who was arguing with her, into a flat, because Kipo’s Mum was starting to be a hazard to her. While on a visit to her old house to pick up something she forgot, she found some papers about her, which described her as having Efburgeson’s Syndrome, which my adopted cousin has, explaining their similarities. She got really upset and, during school, she went into the bathroom to, well, cry about it. She was ashamed to do it, but I know that it was because she had too much emotional thoughts about her life. Anyways, there was a person in the cubicle next to her who was smoking the depressive drug Hytheria, which explained why, after about half a minute, she took a knife dropped on the floor and cut herself. Clarene found her soon after and she got sent to where we are now, at the Psychiatry Ward of Thillium Hospital.
“It’s okay.” I said when Kipo had finished.
“No it is not.” Kipo explained.
“Why not?”
“Because I am sad and angry, and I am never sad or angry.”
“It’s alright to feel those things.” I said
“No it is not.”
“Why?”
“They are bad feelings.”
“Well, yes they are, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel them.”
“I do not want to feel them.”
“I know, nobody does, but you can feel them if you have to. What would you do if you didn’t?”
Kipo was silent, and I wondered if she understood what I had said. When I was about to say something, she said
“If we did not feel those feelings we would feel nothing. If we felt nothing, then we would not know what to do in a given situation when you feel those feelings, and that would result in you carrying out the incorrect actions in that situation.”
I actually didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t expected an answer like that at all. I stuttered for a bit before saying
“Uh, exactly.” I didn’t actually know what to say next. “So, you have Efburgeson’s? What are you interested in?”
“Magnets.” Kipo said, in a small voice.
“Oh really? Heh, I like magnets as well, although I don’t think as much as you would.”
“My favourite magnet toy is my Dayol Cube.”
“Oh, a Dayol Cube! My cousin got one of those for her birthday. I found a little cubelet of one when I went on holiday to a river once.”
“I lost a cubelet of my Dayol Cube.”
“Oh really? I could give you mine if you’d like. As much as I like magnets, I have no use for it.”
“I would appreciate it greatly if you would give it to me. But the likelihood that it would be a piece that is not one I already have is twenty-six to one.”
“Oh, okay, well I’ll give it to you tomorrow when I see you nonetheless.”
“Okay.”

And indeed I did. The next day I went to Kipo’s room, I gave her the piece. To tell you the truth I nearly forgot about it, but I remembered in the end. It was a little worn, but Kipo didn’t seem to mind. She looked happy when I gave it to her, but not as happy as when I came in to check in on her later on. She seemed a lot brighter than when I had seen her before.
“Is it the right piece?” I asked.
“Yes.” Kipo replied. “I have assembled the Dayol Cube into my most preferred combinations, and they all work correctly.”
“Cool!” I said. I once again gave her the day’s glass and said farewell. I was beginning to like Kipo. Well, I like nearly all the patients I deal with, but I liked Kipo a bit more than the others, and I started looking forward to her a bit.
“The chances of the cubelet being the correct piece was one in twenty-seven.” She said.
“Oh really? Heh, lucky it was the right one, then.”
“Okay. I do not believe in luck.”
“Eh, why?”
“Luck does not exist. It is a way of seeing more positive out of a situation then there really is.”
“Do you have a negative outlook on life?”
“No.”

Efburgeson . . . hehe

I think your story is great, it sounds interesting. Also, I read Kipo's bio on your DA gallery.

I was thinking too about making my own "aspie" character, but I haven't had the guts and the time for writing something. I have a story in my mind (this is not about an aspie character), and this November I'll take the NaNoWriMo challenge.

Your writing has gotten much better.

Honestly, I thought your writing before wasn't so great. it seems to have evolved. It seems better now. Keep it up.

Thanks! Would you mind telling me what was wrong with it earlier?

I don't have a sample before my eyes. But, the plot line was great it just seemed that the Characters weren't so nicely written, and it seemed almost like a child writing. but now it's more professional. it's a great read.

Heheh, thanks again!

*wonders if I have more to share*

I'm sure it will be pretty darn popular if it's published.

Same here. I've got probably the best plot ever! Okay, maybe not...

Oh yes! I do have more!!




Koise turned round the aisle and immediately bumped into a teenage Renon girl, spilling his groceries onto the floor.
“Oops, sorry about that!” she said, and she got down and got Koise’s things up. She had none of her own.
“No worries.” Koise said blankly, grabbing the groceries the girl handed to him.
“Wish I could apologize a bit more.” She said as she got up.
“There’s no need to-” Koise stopped. Could it be, could it really be her? No, it was impossible, it defied logic. Even Aiko’s story made more sense than this.
“Uh… do I know you?” she asked. “I think I’ve met you before.”
“I don’t think I have.” Koise said. “Clarrissa?”
“Clarissa? My name’s Maylen.”
“Oh… it’s just that, I thought that you were someone I know. You two are awfully similar.” Indeed, Maylen seemed to have everything about Clarrissa in her. Her poise and posture, her tone of voice, even her accent, which Koise didn’t notice until now, was there.
“…maybe you could come round. Makes up for me bumping into you.”
“Uh… sure, I guess. When would you like me to come ‘round?”
“Sometime tomorrow would be good.”
“Okay, I’m free there. Well, see you then I suppose!”
“Yeah… see you…” Koise still was bewildered. How in heck did Clarrissa wind up here? She appeared to have little change in her, and yet no memory of Koise. This didn’t come to a surprise to Koise, what with Clarrissa logically being dead.


“WHAAAT!?!” Booger wailed.
“Yes yes, I know, I know. It’s crazy, but you’ve got to trust me.”
“What you’re telling me is completely crazy!”
“Well it’s the truth!”
“But how could you invite her over?! We never let anyone here, ever!”
“Yes, yes, I know, but bear with me. You recall that I told you that she visited the base before?”
“Yeah, although it was a total wreck, where the VR Sphere was a Snake Pit and my old sandwich covered up 40% of the kitchen!”
“42. Point is, I think her coming here might jog her memory.”
“But… letting a stranger inside the base?! Who knows what’ll happen?”
“Look, I’ll make sure she’ll be on her best behaviour and won’t tell anyone. Okay? Besides, she may not remember me, but I know how to sweet-talk her nonetheless.”



“So… what’s up with Maylen, then? Howcome she’s an almost perfect replica of Clarrissa?”
“Well,” Taheke began, “As I well know, when the soul reaches the afterlife, it can do three things. The first, and most well known method is to stay there, resting in eternal peace in the afterlife. The second is to be formed into a ghost, like I did. The third is related to Buddhism.

As you might know, one of the aspects of Buddhism is reincarnation. Many believe that when you die, the soul can get re-incarnated into any living being, be it frog or a butterfly, another person or even a tree if they really felt like it. For the most part, this is true. However, it is a little known fact among the living that those in the afterlife can be reincarnated through time.”

At this, a big rush of realisation came over Koise.

“When the soul gets reincarnated, it loses all memory of it’s previous life, however it still retains the same basic and central personality it grew up with. Memories are also there, if faintly, in the person’s mind. This explains why Maylen feels like she’s met you.”
“Is there a way to awaken those memories?”
“Indeed there is, but, it will involve another fetch-quest. I gather that you have grown out of your previous lifestyle, before the BlackJack and Mordith incident.”
“Yeah, it feels so… strange and awkward.”
“I know the feeling.”
“But, I would do anything for Clarrissa. If I had to cross a river with salt-water crocodiles, anacondas and sharks in it, I’d do it. If I had to steal CIA information, I’d do it. Heh, if I had to pay off the Mortgage, I’d do it.”
“Okay. Maylen, or Clarrissa, is special in that she’s only been reincarnated once. Many people have been the result of a long line of reincarnations, many through time, so it is quite rare to find someone who has started off completely fresh. As a result, it makes it far easier for people to fall in love with her, as she doesn’t have the faint memories of other lives bogging her down.”
“Heheh.”



“Koise, are you sure?”
“I’m as sure as I can be.”
“Will this hurt?”
“Only a little.” Taheke said.
“Trust me.” Koise said.
Maylen took two steps towards Taheke, and he raised his palms. Maylen grasped Ufarion’s Meddalion, and relaxed. Taheke then said the words
“Asarion agneme, tutarion symotriach. Hudara mufasion, retoro jivula!”
And suddenly a light flashed at Maylen’s heart. She rose up into the air slightly as a glow emenated from her. Maylen felt her body surge with energy, and as Taheke said, a slight pain. Koise watched in anticipation as she then sunk to the floor to her knees in sudden exhaustion. She could barely keep herself up on her arms. Then she turned and smiled.
“Clarrissa?”
“Koise?” There was no mistaking it. Koise rushed over to her as her arms gave in, and grabbed her before she hit the floor. He gave her the biggest hug he had ever given to her or anyone before or since. Tears came from his eyes as he realised that she was finally back, against all hope. He embraced her, as she did to him. She remembered everything, her joining the Rebellion, meeting Koise, Marilyn, everything, even her Maylen life.
“I have something I want to give to you.” Koise said. Reaching into his backpack, he pulled out the absolute last two things Clarrissa would have ever hoped to see.

Her diary, with her old bandanna on the top wrapped in a bundle.

She took it in awe. The emotion of everything that was happening was almost too much to take.
“Marilyn gave it to me after you went. I took it with me when I came back to this time.”
Clarrissa unraveled the bandanna, and inside was the key. She started to cry when she realized the symmetry of this.
“I love you Koise.”
“I love you too Clarrissa.”
And they embraced each other in another, graceful hug, followed by a kiss as their lips met.

Koise led Clarrissa out of the underground complex and into the car. Clarrissa had fully expected her to gasp at the huge difference between Wellington and Glenwoinlt. But she had lived here as Maylen for seventeen years, so it felt completely normal in addition to being the biggest change in the world. The blue skies were wonderful, and the greenery and plantlife was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. And yet it felt like just another day.
“Who do you feel like?” Koise asked as they got into the car.
“Kinda both… I feel like both Clarrissa and Maylen. It feels very strange.”
“How so?”
“Well this place is providing conflicting feelings. The Maylen side of me feels like this is the most normal thing, and yet my Clarrissa side thinks this is the most wonderful thing to ever gaze upon.”
“Oh.”
“Not just that too. How will I explain this to my mum? Or at least, my second mum… I have my new friends and relatives to think about.”
“Damn, that is a problem…”
“D’you think I could see them?”
“Sure, no probs.”
Koise drove them down to her best friend’s house, where Clarrissa walked in, saying that she’d do the talking.

It was very touch-and-go for her, or at least she felt like it was.
“Hey Jessy!”
“Hey Maylen!” she replied, “What brings you here?”
“Well, there’s kinda something I have to tell you and its very important… sit down.”
As they were in the lounge, this was not that hard.
“Now, you believe in Buddhism, right?”
“Yeah. Been an avid follower for ages.”
“Well, this should come as, well, more natural to you I suppose.”
“Okay.”
“Now, remember Koise?”
“Yeah.”
“Well I love him.”
Clarrissa was met with a blank stare.
“That it? Myalen, I already know you like him, you can’t stop talking about him!”
“I know, I know, but I love him. I’ve been through so much with him together, and we share something really special.”
“O-kaay…”
“This is going to sound really nuts. So uh, be prepared.”
“Okay.”
“I’m a reincarnation.”
A short pause.
“How would you know that?”
“Because I remember my past life.”
“You’re not supposed to.”
“Well Koise helped me awaken those memories with a special item. Now, my past life has been my only previous life. People can get reincarnated many times. In my past life, I was a girl named Clarrissa, living 5,000 years in the future.”
“Seriously?!”
“Yeah.”
“Jesus.”
“Koise was there too, although he found a Time Rift Gate and travelled to this time. I died before then.”
“Okay… carry on.”
“Okay. Now, in that past life, I fell in love with Koise. We were so happy together, we could never be apart. And then I was killed by this total bastard named Keiran.”
“How?”
“I got shot from behind.”
“Ow.”
“At close-range.”
“Jeez…”
“With a shotgun.”
“Oh god! That’s terrible!”
“I know… when I think about it, I can still remember the pain, the unbearable surge of it that consumed all of my body, so much so that I was in shock. I remember laying there, my body in utter pain, and yet my feeling faded. Koise then picked me up. I tried as hard as I could to look at him, but I couldn’t move my eyes. I just… stared blankly. And then I died.”
“What was it like?”
“Death?”
“Yeah.”
“I remember feeling very empty and, well, nothingless… I was just there, in a void, existing and yet I wasn’t.”
“And reincarnation?”
“I recall, in the featurless void, that I had new feelings in me. I had no physical self, and the feelings were choices. One was to return to that time as a ghost, a shadow of my previous self. The other was staying there, and the last was reincarnation. There was nobody there giving me these choices, just the feelings.”
“So it was completely black then?”
“Emptier than black. So void and featureless it’s kinda hard to explain. I guess it was black, but an infinite black.”
“Oh.”
“I recall also losing my memories of my life. I forgot everything, my old friends, my experiences, Koise, everything. And then it’s all a blank.”
“Why?”
“Well I suppose that when you’re a… sperm, you don’t have the capacity for memory.”
“Ahh.”
“It’s really confusing.”
“And so this person, Koise, was able to reawaken your old memories and get you to remember?”
“Yes.”
“How do you know? How do you know it isn’t some sort of trick?”
“Because I feel like two people. I feel like I’m both Maylen and Clarrissa. Take my reaction to outside for instance. In my previous life, the whole place was desolate, ashy and dark because it had been taken over by an evil person named Mordith.”
“God, is that really going to happen?”
“Koise and I saw to it that Mordith would never do that.”
“Okay.”
“Anyway, my Clarrissa side feels like this is heavan on Earth. I feel like this is the most wonderful place ever. And yet my Maylen side feels like this is completely normal, to the point where it’s slightly boring.”
“Oh.” It was all Jessy could really say. “But… 5,000 years into the future?” she continued, “How do you know?”
“Look at this.” Clarrissa got out her diary. “In my previous life I kept a diary, and wrote what happened each day, if there was anything interesting.”
“And?”
“Look at the dates.”
Jessy opened the book up to the first few pages, and read the date of one.
“October 4th… 7005?”
“Yeah.”
“But that’s 5,000 years away!”
“Exactly.” Clarrissa said, taking the diary back. “I wrote this, and Koise was able to bring it back with him.”
“Wow… so Maylen-I mean, Clarrissa, how are you going to tell everyone?”
“You can call me Maylen. It’s both my second and original name, doesn’t matter which one you use.”
“Okay.”
“And I don’t think I will. I want this to be kept between me, Koise, and his friend Booger.”
“Isn’t he the one who saves the world every so-often?”
“Yeah. It’s because of a mis-hap that he landed up 5,000 years into the future, in my old time.”
“And you fell in love with him?”
“Yeah. When I, as Maylen first bumped into him in a supermarket a month ago, I felt him to be familiar.”
“Ahh.”
“So can we keep this between us?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Thank you.”
“No… thank you.”
“Why?”
“You’ve shown me that amazing things do happen. I thought our lives to be quite boring, that’s why I took up Buddhism in the first place. You’ve had something that would blow people’s minds if they heard about it. So thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Say… don’t Koise and Booger have a secret hideout somewhere?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I was wondering if I could go over there.”
“I’m sure something could be arranged.”




“WHAAAT!?!”

I like it! I like the way the dialogue sounds very natural and realistic. I think with some writers the dialogue sounds a bit false, but yours doesn't.
Keep up the good work!

I hope you'll keep posting here if you write any more, it would be nice to carry on reading the story.

I'll see if I can fake fake dialogue.

"Say son, what do you suppose is behind that here door?"
"Golly Dad, I would not know!"
"Let's pull this random book out and see what happens!"
"Jiminy, the bookcase is moving!"
"It sure is son! Look, there is a secret passageway behind it!"
"I don't wanna go in there!"
"Why not, son?"
"It's dark!"
"Don't worry son! Just remember that your mother's always with you!"
"Gee, thanks Dad! That sure as heck cheered me up!"
"Well that's just dandy, innit? Let's go in an-"

And then the two confused and partly insane people were squished by Lawn Ninja Garden Gnomes holding Custard Snakes from Pakistan THE END!! !!

Lol, yes, that's the kind of thing...Gee golly o'blimey!

I don't know how my dialogue is like that. I watched movies a lot and I'm more of a listener than a speaker, so I suppose that's where I get it from.

Your writing is very very good. I enjoyed it very much.

Yay!