Feel Hopeless and Helpless

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This is more of a vent so to speak than anything else but...
I have been having severe depression issues. I am suicidal, have thought about it a lot (how I would do it, etc). I sought help from my counselor. She blew me off, as has most everyone else. She said I "look" fine and I am not very emotional. DUH. I always am like that. I have about the same look on my face no matter what. She was watching for nt behavior in someone she has known for awhile and knows is not nt. I am so alone and frustrated. I feel trapped. Where I live, there are few means of assistance in this. There is nothing I can do. No one is willing or able to help me and I feel like there is no hope left in my life for resolution of these issues. I cut again, all over my body. This was ignored as just a "sensory" problem. Though I have cut for those reasons, those are usually scratches that are minimal and don't even draw any blood. This was not like that but they are so busy and overworked that they don't have time to care. This is not helping with the feeling that life would go on, perhaps be better, if I were gone.

I know exactly how you feel! I am not in college this semester and I live in the country which makes me feel isolated at times.
But, whenever I feel depressed...I take a walk and just try to enjoy everything around me. I gave up confiding in anyone with a
mental health degree...psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, whatever only seem interested in their paycheck than doing
any real good for someone in need of emotional support.

Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I try to find an activity that will occupy my mind when I feel depressed. Find a hobby...learn
how to knit or crochet (every one seems to be doing it nowadays), take up photography, go to the library and check out some books to read, watch something comical on television (I love to watch episodes of MASH for comic relief when I feel depressed)...DO SOMETHING... wherever your interests lies.

Why "cut" yourself when that only hurts you and no one else you may be upset with at the moment?

When other people upset or frustrate you, learn to let it go. It isn't easy... we can't control other people's actions toward us
but we can control our response to other people's stupidity and callousness.

First thing you need a new counselor IMO. Most if not all professionals in that field will take "thoughts" very seriously. To the point where they will have the state confine you. Unless you left that part out. Plus blowing you off like that well thats just wrong.

The alone and frustrated feelings I feel like that 95 percent of the time. Feeling trapped is awful. I will admit when I feel trapped suicidal thoughts 'just thoughts' rummage through my head for a possible escape.

Cutting yourself is bad. Specially all over. Not sure why you do so. I myself 'might of done' such a thing to make me feel something besides the nothingness I feel at times.

I wish I could help you give you a awesome suggestion that could turn things around. All I can say is your not alone on the hopelessness and helpless existence.

Hey, try not to feel too desolate, We all have AS here and can understand at most levels of how you feel, if you need anyone to talk to you can certainly PM me, I can give the best advice I can, or if you just want to talk, I'm all ears!

You are not alone, we are all on this forum for a reason.
Some of us are a bit older, and have been 'through the mill', so to speak.
Feel free to reach out to people here.
I know it's not like having someone in person to talk to, but at least we understand what you're going through. If you need someone who's a professional, do seek them out. It's not always easy to find a good counselor/therapist.

(Good to see another Poe fan here.)