What is your first name? let's just call me Stern (it's a character of mine, but based on me)
Age: 21
Location: Washington
Hobbies and Interests: dog psychology, dog training, geology, rockhounding, photography and cartooning
Why are you here? I can't remember where I heard of this site
When were you diagnosed?(skip if you don't have a disorder): Asperger's - unofficial as of this past February
Favorite subjects: as in school? That'd be arts and sciences
Year/Grade: transferring to Evergreen
Books, TV shows/Movies and music: look HERE
Instrument: glass armonica, theremin, bass guitar
Do you like sports? only dog sports
Family: uh... I have one, yes
Clothing: I prefer function and comfort.... and steampunk
How did you find this website? I don't remember
Job: photography lab tech
Plans for the future? I would like to move back to the desert and become a geologist, and eventually have my own dog training facility. When I retire I want to drive long-haul trucks.
Any comments?
Well, I am never very good at these introduction things, but in this context I think I will manage.
I took the "aspie" test here http://www.rdos.net/eng/
My "aspie" score was 152 out of 200.
My NT score was 44 out of 200
This is not what I've based my theory about myself on, but it certainly bolstered it. I have been researching Asperger's disorder for the past year, and have seen two psychologists about it. Both have told me they believe that Asperger's is the best diagnosis for me. However, I have yet to achieve an OFFICIAL diagnosis.
Anyway, obviously my interests are dogs and rocks. These have been lifelong interests. I am also very much into drawing, but this is not so much an interest as an ability. I've been doing that since before I could talk. I find it is a much easier way of expressing myself. Of course, online I will appear to be better able to do so as well, because I can simply write down what I'm thinking. I find talking to people to be very difficult, as I'm sure many can understand. I avoid eye contact like the plague, I have no intuition as to how others are feeling, other than what I've learned through mistakes, and I cannot stand to be touched. People used to think it was funny to sneak up on me and tap me while I was concentrating on something - then watch how mad I got.
My outstanding symptoms include partial prosopagnosia and some OCD and dyslexic tendencies. These get worse when I am stressed. I was misdiagnosed with ADHD as a child, though I was no more hyperactive than a normal kid - I just didn't know when I had to sit still or why. I also constantly daydream and while I am easily distracted away from something uninteresting, I develop a sort of tunnel vision when concentrating on something of interest to me (usually dogs and rocks). As a young child (2-4 years old) I loved to walk on the knuckles of my toes, I began talking slightly late, but started with full (albeit short) sentences from what I'm told. As an infant I did not like being held or touched, rarely cried and reacted more to whispers than shouts (my parents thought I was deaf until mother tried whispering). Speaking of which, "small noises" (for lack of a better term) such as people tapping, breathing or chewing and whispering, especially while I am trying to listen to something else, have a tendency to enrage me. As a child I would develop a bloodlust over this and would frequently punch my little brother (he was the worst offender). I now have better control but still yell sometimes. I get overstimulated aurally very easily. I cannot be in places with a lot of different sounds, especially if they are human voices. I also am very averse to being touched by other people, as I've stated. If someone does touch me, I feel it until I can rub it away. Kind of like resetting my nerves or something. It's like the feeling you get when you know your hands are dirty. It's a very unsettling feeling. I also lack intuition when it comes to others but have developed an idea of how other's are feeling based on what they say and study of psychology. I have difficulty interpreting sarcasm (this used to get me hurt a lot as a kid) and some facial expressions. I myself rarely show my emotions involuntarily (in fact I only have two that I know of - anger and laughter), though in recent years I have made an effort to learn and practice them. I have some OCD tendencies, which mainly center around food and fear of poisoning. I think the fear itself may be related to early childhood experiences, but am convinced that the OCD tendencies are a symptom of Asperger's. However, I don't consider myself a candidate for an OCD diagnosis because the symptoms are so isolated. Other people throughout my life have continuously mistook my "default expression" for frowning or even glaring. They also seem worried that I don't express my emotions (except anger/frustration). I don't understand why, as I've nothing to gain by expressing them, but possibly something to lose. I do have a well-developed sense of humor and tend to laugh a lot. I prefer absurd things like Monty Python, MST3K or Ace Ventura over any other form of comedy.
Speaking of emotions, I have found a soul-mate, and am very aware of how unlikely this is. A huge portion of the issues I have with others are either reduced or in some cases nearly nonexistent with him (and only him). I can't explain the phenomena, and I wonder if anyone else experiences this? Anyway, if not for him, I would be asexual. I otherwise have no interest at all in romance, sex or even being near any other person for so long. Now, he is not allowed to sneak up and grab or tap me, but I can hug him and even tell him I love him. This is all probably helped by the fact that we started out as friends, and had a long-distance relationship for the first 4 years. He has lived with me now for 2 years, and though we are still adjusting and dancing around my issues, he has been immensely patient and thoughtful.
As for style, I do have one; steampunk. I also wish to add this style to my home and wardrobe. I'd love to steampunk all of my technology and gadgets, but a continuing lack of money thwarts me at every turn. I am currently enthralled by the comic series, Girl Genius. I even have fan characters, one of which is Stern.
This is me yesterday.
Soon my hair will be blue. I prefer it to be blue or purple rather than brown. It helps me feel more comfortable with myself.
18 Nov 2007, 3:40 am
