Rugby player

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I coach an under 13s Rugby League side and have just found out that a young lad who joined us a couple of months ago has Aspergers and ADHD.I am now trying to find out as much as I can about the conditions.He often follows me about or talks about slightly odd things and I have sometimes been a little short with him but I now feel guilty and realise that I need to be more patient with him. Do you think sport will be a help to him? We are pretty strict with discipline on and off the pitch, will he struggle with this? His mother tells me that if he gets into a confrontation he either lashes out or runs away.Before today I had never heard of Aspergers so please excuse my ignorance and any help or advice would be much appreciated.

I feel I ought to reply on this one as although I wasn't diagnosed at the time, I was a 13yr old rugby player, although admittedly Union, ....

Asperger's Syndrome is a spectrum condition, no two of us are identical in terms of how it expresses but there are features that we generally share and a mixed grab-bag of other stuff that is quite common.

We don't tend to consider others in the heat of the moment and we lack empathy for others thought processes. I was a far better wing forward than a centre because as a centre I would forget to pass, however I tackled like a sledgehammer, though frequently illegally....

If he's playing contact sports then he might well have missed out on the duff hand-eye coordination (mine is excellent) but he might well have ticked the box marked "Very High Pain Threshold". This is a two-edged sword if he has it because although he won't be a cry-baby about a bit of a knock, equally he won't be a cry-baby about a couple of broken ribs... I finished a two mile cross-country race having had a running accident on gravel that had stripped my knees and shins of pretty much all the skin about half way round. Apparently you could see where I'd been from the trail of blood I'd left.... and i helped the nurse in the Sanitorium at school pick out the bits of gravel... a week later I'd taken off the dressing and turned up for gym again with legs that still looked like raw meat in places..... if he's got that part of the package you will need to keep an eye out for rib damage because the next tackle he takes could be serious....

Unless he has a reading problem then he will learn the rule book better than the refs, you'll have to impress on him the need not to quote chunks of it at them if he disagrees with their decision.

Unlike social phobics we do tend to like to beyond to a small, tightly bonded, almost tribal group. If he feels that he belongs to the team and it is his tribe then he will leave his lungs on the pitch to help them win....

We nearly all have a thing called "gaze aversion". We really don't ever look people straight in the eye, so he's not being shifty or anything, it's just something you'll have to get used to. That said most Aspies suck so spectacularly at lying that we give up trying at around his age, I did, it's just too much hard work, be careful not to ask him questions that might lead him to get a team-mate into trouble, the tension between group loyalty and having to try to tell a lie will probably lead into meltdown.....

We tend to answer questions logically and directly, don't ask him how he is unless you really need a potted medical history of the last couple of weeks.

Quite a few of us speak in a near monotone, get used to it, he's not bored or tired, it's just the way he speaks

Meltdown. Generally when confronted by a situation where there is no good, logical or defensible course of action then aspies tend to flap. It gets its name from the fact that a lot of us externalise our emotional condition at that point by waving a hand around. If the situation escalates then we meltdown. It takes different forms, I don't externalise the flap and my meltdown is characterised by a pretty much complete withdrawal for anything from a few hours to a couple of days, people who think I can be a bit of an emotionless cyborg some of the time ought to be forced to be with me then to learn the meaning of it. Some meltdowns can take the form of an aggressive outburst or a highly emotional collapse...

Sorry if this is negative but it's stuff I had to deal with without a diagnosis, I was just the wierd kid.... didn't stop me playing rugby though .......

Hope this helps

From coaching a rugby union side, it is actually the ADHD that can creat more problems rather than the AS.

I have AS and I coach a mini rugby side(under 12s)

In the time I have been coaching I have had young players with AS and ADHD as well as several other behavioural disorders.

They can be a challenge but rugby as a sport tends to be more inclusive than the likes of football.

The social skills learned are a benefit but it can be very frustrating running coaching sessions when there is a player who does not quite follow all the normal rules.

The stricter discipline of rugby is also a bonus.

The greatest risk is that he disrupts and affects others but that is often from the ADHD side rather than the AS.

Change the warm-up drills and practice skills sets frequently to prevent boredom can be helpful.

If you wish any specific help please feel free to PM me.

I have a rule that if your late for training without a phone call or text you are dropped from the team for the next game, do you think I should let him off or treat him the same as the other lads?
thanks for the replys.

Depends on where and when training is.

For an under13 I would blame the parents rather than the player.

Most of my late attenders is due to parents not getting them there by time but then again my training is in the country on a Sunday.

I'm just grateful for anybody who turns up!

But generally all players should be treated the same, but it depends how good he is!

Former prop forward here, played in every match from age 11 to 17 bar one, because I had broken a finger and was told I was not allowed to play. I couldn't catch the ball from a kick to save my life, so I was placed away from it. Always in the frontline, because being pretty huge for my age, I was the wall the other team had to encounter. I tended to watch and play the game with more of a tactical viewpoint than blind stupidity, like some of my team mates, who were all about the ego as well, getting older.

I was good at remembering the lay-ups and set-pieces, line out moves and all, and could reel them off now, 8 years later.
Being a prop, I had to make eye contact, to give an evil stare or something like that. Lord knows if my evil stare was evil enough, I just though of something that made me mad.

You may have to watch the aggression, as crisscross mentioned, my tackling was usually quite legal, but very painful for the poor sod I just squished. I've been punched out, knocked out, suffered a muscle spasm in my neck, broken fingers from a direct kick, but I was also the most reliable player in my year.

The most notable difference for me was off the pitch, when the rest of the team would go off and be teenagers, I went home and made a model plane, as if nothing happened. I was also reminded to have a bath, because apparently the muddy look isn't popular at home. Grew out of the last one, thankfully.

I gave up for a number of reasons, pneumonia, a broken wrist prior to pre-season training, and the rest of my year, who would be in the 1st XV, were all jocks who I couldn't stand, and one more season with them being more obnoxious as they got older was too much.

Its good that your prepared to look out for the lad, and although you won't understand the way he thinks, knowing that he is wired differently will be a help. I seem to have Inattentive ADHD, which means I am prone to staring off into space A LOT, because I am unable to focus for long periods of time. If he has Impulsive type, then you basically have Tigger on your hands, not Winnie the Pooh.

Your knowledge should also help you when it comes to discipline, although he should be faithful to the team. I know I was faithful to the team, not my team mates.

my cousin plays rugby. it looks ghey as hell but is a extremly physical sport. i think i'll stick to american football

i have played both and well liked amercian fotball better but rugby is defenatly harder inn therms of the amount of pain you get.

Like you I am a coach of sorts . I have found that it is imperative that every player on the team is treated equally by the coach . If you are a stickler for the rules you must be consistent . I find its better to cut all players a little slack and keep them focused on the goal of winning ... sometimes you have to deflate an ego for the good of the team , but thats a different topic . Each of your players is unique with quirks of their own . Coaches must use those quirks to help the team or risk losing the advantages your players bring to the team . By your post I suspect that you will do what you think is best , whatever that might be .

I am wondering about this eye-contact thing . When younger , I suppose I had this problem , Dad says I did . Somewhere along the way I switched from avoiding eye-contact to enjoying it . I now notice when people avoid returning my gaze . (I will keep in mind that this may be a symptom of AS) And I have also noticed the powerful effect eye-contact can have on someone trying to dish out a load of BS . When you lock gazes with someone else one thing you can count on is both people more clearly remember the conversation . I also find other peoples eyes interesting from a biological veiwpoint , especially blue female eyes . Sorry if I got off topic but this eye-contact avoidance symptom is a re-occurring sub-topic in posts .

[quote="HandyAndy"
I am wondering about this eye-contact thing . When younger , I suppose I had this problem , Dad says I did . Somewhere along the way I switched from avoiding eye-contact to enjoying it . I now notice when people avoid returning my gaze . (I will keep in mind that this may be a symptom of AS) And I have also noticed the powerful effect eye-contact can have on someone trying to dish out a load of BS . When you lock gazes with someone else one thing you can count on is both people more clearly remember the conversation . I also find other peoples eyes interesting from a biological veiwpoint , especially blue female eyes . Sorry if I got off topic but this eye-contact avoidance symptom is a re-occurring sub-topic in posts .[/quote]

If I hold someones gaze (I have to concentrate and it isn't easy) for me at all they will look away... I've been told it is very disturbing to other people (by a friend) because it "looks like a cross between an oncoming car and a crazy madman with an axe... there's nothing normal in there.....please don't do it to me again"....

chrisc

thankyou to all who replied, I have had a good talk with the lad about his aspergers and ADHD and in the last two weeks he has been outstanding on the Rugby pitch. I have explained that will treat him the same as everyone else whilst also being patient with him but I have also asked him to be honest with me and let me know if he thinks I am ever too strict with him. I did have to have a talk with him after Sundays game because he was over the try line but started waving his arms about celebrating, one his team mates later told me he did this to see if I would sub him.