School music teacher woes...

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The problems began the first week of school. 9 y/o AS DD forgot to give us a handout- telling us what was required for the music class- this included the music book and a folding stand as well as the instrument. We already knew she needed the instrument so that one was not a problem. We found out about the book too late- the teacher had already ordered it and we had to fend for ourselves- finding it. The teacher did not send us any information- expected DD to relay the info. I had absolutely no idea which music book was required simply from the title- there were about 4 different versions, pracitve versions, theory versions, etc. So, she was a little late getting her book. Then, we found out the teacher was docking her points because she didn't have all her materials- the music stand. She gets 3 points every class for bringing her instrument, stand, and book.

We took care of it all and thought everything was good. DD has been enjoying music class, enjoys playing the viola, she comes home and excitedly tells us how she's doing well, has passed this test or that test, etc. She also began writing her own music using the notes she had learned- Dad and I are both musicians- different instruments, but she already had basic music theory down from piano lessons with us and her G-ma. We thought she was doing well. We were floored when we received her report card and she had a D in Music. We knew it had to be a mistake. There was no way she could have a D. It was the only grade that was not an A on her report card. So, we expressed our bewilderment to her regular teacher at conferences and he did some digging to find out what's going on.

Apparently, the teacher has the kids mark down on a chart when they pass a test- basically, letting the kids score themselves and keep track. Well, my disorganized and forgetful AS DD didn't mark down 3 tests and so the music teacher thought she had failed them. AAUUGGHH! Why the heck would a teacher allow students to keep track of passing tests and make that their responsibility in the first place? That is utterly ridiculous IMO. They are 9-10 y/o kids for Goodness sake.

Soooo, her regular teacher called this afternoon to tell us this info and also to let us know what tests they were so she could go over them today and practice before re-taking the tests tomorrow with the music teacher. She breezed through all of them without a problem. Dumb music teacher had my daughter and us all confused and worried, befuddled and confused because of her very poor grading system. I intend to have a not-so-nice word with this teacher. I had already sent her a note telling her of DD's disorganization problems and letting her know that she can't be trusted to pass along info- that we need it in writing. And furthermore, we should have been notified WEEKS ago that she was not doing well- at risk of getting a bad grade. This is so stupid. AAUUGGHH!

Ok, thanks for "listening" to my vent. Any suggestions on how to handle this teacher? I'm AS too and HATE confrontation. Perhaps I can do this via e-mail.

some teachers seem to feel that by the age of 9 or 10, kids should begin to be more responsible for their grades~ be more organized, take down assignments, turn in homework unassisted.........i suppose this is a fine notion for kids who don't have other issues ( if there are any kids like that). the reality is this: if a kid has any kind of dx which is prohibitive of them being successful in such an environment, then the kid should be receiving some form of help~ this could simply be a reminder posted on the board to write down assignments....or a verbal prompt.....
how certain are you that the music teacher is aware of your daughter's dx ? Is it possible that this teacher does not know that your daughter *might* require some different accomodations?

I'm a teacher, and I have a son with AS.
I think the best thing you can do is inquire every single day about your daughter's progress. Does the music teacher have email? A quick, "How did ___ do today?" will drive her insane, frankly speaking. She will monitor your daughter's progress more closely in order to keep you off her back. Keep all her replies (or lack of them) in a folder on your desktop, so that if she says everything is fine, and it isn't, you can have something in writing to work with. If everything is indeed good and your daughter's grade reflects it, those positive teacher notes will be a nice keepsake for her later.
I don't think this is terribly combative. The squeaky wheel DOES get the grease, though.

Why can't people just assess how well you achieve in the subject instead of factoring things in like neat bookwork (which took me down a grade in some school subjects), whether or not you have the materials (if I'd been graded on this I don't think I would've ever passed a class) and other such things? I would be furious if I was in your place.

This teacher needs to be aware of your daughter's IEP and in that IEP it should be noted that your daughter needs help with follow through in communication. Why are they responsible for buying music and music stands????? That doesn't make any sense to me.
I'd also be more on top of each teacher and their habits. Finding out what the class requirements are and how the class works before the report cards come out.
If your daughter doesn't have her special needs noted in her IEP, then you need to get on that ASAP because her grade is now lowered due to it. If this stuff is on her IEP, then that teacher needs to be held accountable. Either way, I would raise the issue with the principal because 1)she didn't advise parents of a below standard grade and 2)your daughter was punished for her special needs.

DD does not have an IEP. We have had wonderful teachers thus far who have made some accomodations for her and helped with her special needs(keeping her organized and keeping us informed). I'm able to keep on top of things usually. We had no clue what was going on with the music class, so therefore, I was not able to communicate with that teacher. That problem will be fixed NOW. I'm going to request a folder of current assignments to keep on top of what DD's supposed to be practicing, etc. DD has always been such a self-starter, good student, etc- that she's never really needed any frther special accomodations.

We realize with this last problem, that we need to have an IEP in place at least by the time she enters Jr. High- she'll be going to different teachers all day who all need to be aware of her special needs. She also will need an extra set of books and supplies at home- because she'll be taking the bus again- for now, the school's across the street so it's not a problem if she forgets something- she just goes back to get it.

Thanks for all the responses. Today, she'll re-take thsoe tests and breeze through them- raising her grade to a B, what it should have been in the 1st place.

I can appreciate your frustration. I suspect what the teacher is trying to do is help the students develop responsibility and learn to follow instructions. Nine years old is certainly not too young for the kind of lessons she or he is using to do that. It's certainly not too young to be expected to bring home a "supplies list" and give it to one's parents and to be responsible for a few tasks as assigned.

The problem that I see here lies in that your child has special needs. Did you communicate those to the teacher ahead of time? If not, the teacher can't possibly know what's going on with your child.

In a "NT" child of 9 (using that term loosely here), the shock of getting a "D" for not remembering to do all the tasks they are assigned can be a powerful motivator - it underlines that they DO have to pay attention and follow the directions. If your child has problems that are out of the ordinary, something extra may be in order to help her meet the expectations.

The first step, I would think, would be to talk to the teacher and make sure she knows what's going on. Just say you want to discuss what happened - that your kid has special needs and that you'd like to stay in contact with the teacher to make sure she was doing well in class. I have met very few teachers who did not welcome a parent checking in to see what was going on - there are way too many parents who don't give a d**n and just expect the teacher to do it all. (It really is a cooperative project.) Then you check in with him or her weekly - take the initiative and phone or email them - just ask how things are going. Then listen.

If your child's school is like any that mine went to, the music teacher is probably going to have virtually the entire enrollment of the school's music program to manage. To expect them to remember your child's special needs without reminder at first is not too realistic. As she goes up through the grades, she'll probably move into a situation where she's moving from class to class during the day, and the teachers will see her only 45 minutes or so at a time - no way they're going to pick up on anything unusual, with having seen, potentially, up to 200 students a day. You're going to have to be a coach for your daughter to successfully get her through school.

Best of luck!

Whoops, sorry, didn't see the rest of the string before posting.

It has been my experience that music teachers and music classes tend to be a little ... different. I'll share our experiences with you just in case they might help you a bit - both my daughter and I are on the spectrum. Both of us studied music in the public schools for years.

When I went to school, from middle school/junior high onwards the district had an excellent, top of the line music program. State champion quality. (They still do.) After elementary school, the focus in music education moved away from the teacher catering to the needs of the students and more towards the students being able to function successfully. Placements in the bands were competitive, with weekly "challenges" of seat assignments (1st chair being top honors, and getting the more difficult and challenging parts to play) in after-school sectionals (meetings where all students playing a particular type of instrument met for more in-depth instruction). The band teacher's sole mission was to produce a good, if not excellent, band.

The teachers were perfectionists - extraordinarily strict. We loved them for it, and we became excellent musicians, by and large. They were very professional with the students - they told us very clearly what was expected of us and we were expected to do it. No slack was cut - we were auditioned ever other week and if we failed an audition on our assignment we lost points. And that's the way it pretty much has to be in that environment. It stung quite a bit when I'd misunderstand instructions and memorize the wrong music, or forget to bring a book, or be late for a rehearsal and had to pay the penalty for that, but it taught me to pay extra attention and to start writing down the assignments and make whatever arrangements I had to make (regardless of what the other kids did) to see that I produced what was required. I wanted to be in the band very badly, so I found all sorts of ways to cope and manage the assignments. I cried a lot, but I became pretty darned good at what I played, earning more than one music scholarship to college. I learned about a lot more than music in high school band.

My daughter's program was not that rigorous, but it was a solid one and the general circumstances she encountered were pretty much the same. Her music teachers were very supportive and less... belligerent, for wont of a better term to use... than mine were, but the auditions remained. If my daughter didn't practice, or forgot her music, or whatever the case and did not perform well, points were taken off. She learned pretty quickly that there were logical consequences for whatever she did. That's something kids are taught at that age - all the kids. My daughter, at the beginning, had a devil of a time remembering to give me the mimeo sheets that listed assignments. I had to ask for them daily. Once I knew from the teacher that they typically came home on Wednesdays, I'd ask for them on Wednesdays and check in with the music teacher that Friday if the kid didn't procure one. After a few months I found that was no longer necessary.

As she got older, her ability to manage her responsibilities improved - I'm not sure if it was that she was trying more, she'd figured out some special strategies that really worked, that she was maturing, or that she didn't want her mother breathing down her neck every day. There's not a lot of adolescents who want their moms talking to their teachers on a regular basis, I don't think.

Our band instructors would not have had time to do anything at all for your daughter - in my case he had over 200 other kids in three separate bands to deal with, plus after-school rehearsals and tutoring, etc. In my daughter's case there were still over 90 kids in the band and the teacher taught at two schools due to budgetary constraints. The kids were expected to handle what's required. They had to find a way to manage the requirements. Sometimes it was more difficult for some kids, but they managed to do it.

In those environments, parents have to be proactive. From my initial conversation with the teacher I knew when tests were likely, and asked my daughter how she did - and asked for the proof. If she couldn't produce the written test with the grade, I phoned the teacher. It didn't take too many of those calls before the tests came home as they should have. And the grade had to be explained. If it was poor because of one of my daughters innate difficulties, we'd talk about how she could work around her problem so she could succeed. It was only in the most bizarre situations - when my daughter would say that the teacher had asked her for something completely unreasonable - that I'd call to talk to the teacher about any issue after that point. It usually turned out that my daughter had misunderstood something presented.

If it were me, I'd plan on introducing myself personally to every teacher your daughter has at the start of every school year. Typically they will happily explain their grading criteria, curriculum, and the how they schedule their assignments (most do seem to have a schedule in place). All our band teachers would have welcomed a call or (had it existed) email from parents to see how a child with special needs was doing. Of course, in all my and all my daughter's schools a warning report came home at mid-term if we were not doing well. The catch is, it was sent home with us! I never got one myself, but I had to ask at the six-week point each term if there were any notes from my kid's school. I'd call the school if the kid said she couldn't remember, just to make sure things were on-track.

I guess the short version of what I suggest is to be heavily involved in your daughter's education. Ask her to show you her work daily. Contact the teacher(s) regularly - maybe not every week, but certainly every other week until you become comfortable with the systems in place and how your daughter is functioning. Once she gets a bit older, you might back off a bit - see how she does without you checking in with the teachers so often. If she's doing well, back way off. She will need to be able to know that she can be responsible for herself, have a sense that she can function on her own without "the mom factor" involved. And sometimes you learn the most valuable lessons by failing.

The very best of luck to your daughter!