Bully

Post Reply New Topic

I have Asperger's Syndrome and I was accused of being a bully by a woman I work with and had to go to mediation. She said I was a bully because I did not talk to her, but I hardly ever talk to anyone. She said I stood too close to her but I don't remember doing that either. The mediator made us promise to work together "in good faith", which I have tried to do. But she is always mean to me and causing me stress, so I had to give up my job and get a lower paying one in the same organisation, but where I don't have to interact with this woman (who I think is the bully not me). I think she was trying to get me to leave altogether but I have to have a job to pay my bills like anyone else. I wish I could win the lottery and retire.

I've been in similar situations of people complaining about my attitude when I really simply didn't know what they were looking for or expecting. Much of it still makes no sense to me.

Other people think I'm a nice guy and find it all ridiculous.

I'm not sure what the answer to your case is, but I am pretty certain that you have been treated very unfairly.

i think one of the theory of mind/social interaction things is about what other people consider to be okay as physical distance etc. it's so hard, isn't it - i know i'm still learning how to do it.

is there any possibility you could talk to someone who has some influence, and who would be sympathetic, about your AS, geoffrey? to explain what's happening for you? or do they already know?

Some people seem to choose to interpret silence as hostility and I really don't know why. Am I right in thinking that you do actually speak to her when it makes sense to do so in relation to work?

It seems strange that some people are so demanding that they make an enemy of someone who appears merely indifferent. Perhaps this woman has 'issues', meaning that she has demands of people that are unreasonable and unrealistic. It also seems that she has been manipulating events and people in order to put you in the wrong. Does this woman keep up an incessant chatter and gossip about other people in the workplace?

I usually worry about getting a job, but my stepdad says that I will make friends, and it'll be different from school.

I'm 16 and I need a job. But I keep having bad premonitions.

It usually is different from school. There is a lot more social pressure for people to get along with their co-workers, even if some of them act a little differently.

I have never had the kinds of problems in work places that I had in schools.

Even if its your first job?

I am a bully sometimes but really have to be. Alot of people comment on my hateful look when they cross into my space. I do my job very accurately, fast and safe too. There is noone else who is as fast, as well organized or as safe. Some people complain and make fun of me behind my back but no one can touch my production numbers so they can talk all they want. I also threatened a guy one day and dared him to repeat something he said to my face. Sometimes I'll get mad and kick the top pallet in a stack that is 7 feet high or put my fist through a 3 layer corrugated cardboard tote. I went through too many jobs where people rode me so I don't let off with this one. I've been in my current job for almost 5 years now and am respected by the people who matter. Usually the ones who make fun of me are poor workers, dope addicts and other assorted idiots. My managers and supervisors seem to like me. Sometimes I get into arguements with them too. It's funny because when some of them ask me to do something they try to ask in an extremely polite matter as if to "not piss me off". I guess I have a reputation for "biting their heads off" but that is only when they complain about something ridiculous and illogical. So yeah, sometimes being a bit of a bully is beneficial.

Hey, I had a few complaints about my behaviour at work. A few people said I was unwilling to help, had an attitude problem and didn't join in.

Well. Those around me like me and I pretty much figured out who made the complaints so I just acted out a different personality whenever I was near someone I didn't normally talk to. I don't shrug anything off since people interpret that as bad. If it is something I don't think I can fix, I don't say that, since people interpret that as not caring. I say I will look and get back to them as soon as I figure it out. Then I ask someone else who I trust and we figure the problem out together.

I have managed to turn around what appeared to be an awful situation for me. I am now quite liked and doing well in my job, much better than I would have ever dreamed possible.