I don't belive anyone with AT/AS has gotten + stayed married

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I've come to conclusion NOBODY with autism/aspergers has gotten married to a NT (well maybe its easier if your girl with it but i realy doubt any guy has)

Nobody can make somethin like it work its just not possible believe me ive tried when i was on top of my game an tried my best its just not possible in the long run.

I've dated 3 girls in my life an each one ended up pretty badly IT ENDS basically because I don't show the same involvement and don't know how to be normal and i fall back into my obsessions IM the opposite of spontaneous I hate going to sports games, i dont mind goin out to a movie or a dinner or something but I literally SUCK being around people when im at home

My ideal relationship would be someone who is my opposite and we don't have to do things together all the time and she just completes me an makes me more normal


first off I have no charm, i cannot feel love in the same way as a NT does its just DIFFERENT, I can get sad when i lose something im obsessed with like a pet but when my grandpa died I felt nothing, when my relationships ended I FELT NOTHING while they hated my guts like a normal girl but I could have cared less...

I can feel my basic attractions and really like sex, etc but i cannot feel love with another person

DO YOU KNOW what it feels like to feel nothing? I CANNOT love, i can say the word I understand what it means but i still cannot feel it it deep inside myself.

my relationships are all lopsided in that WE ARE not on the same level socially and a relationship cannot LAST without a strong social connection some say its the most important element in a relationship

Liane Holliday Willey is married to an NT and she is an aspie and she loves him very much. I know a few aspies on I2 who are married to an NT. So yes people with autism/AS have gotten married to NTs.

Spokane_Girl said it, it happens, but it's rare. They say that those with autism don't marry at all, with a few outliers here and there; those with Asperger's can, but most don't.

yeah but i think for girls its naturally easier to stay in a relationship LOTA harder for guys to maintain one being AS

same with mental conditions i know a lot of girls who are bipolar have no problems gettin guys doesnt work the other way around lot cuz guys are more interested in girls physically if u kno what i mean

I am married to an NT. We met at school and went out for 10 years. This year we celebrated our 10th anniversary, so now we have been going out for 20 years.

Of course, I didn't know I was aspie until two years ago.

It's possible but you have to work at it.

I thought my husband was an Aspie but he's doubting it. He doesn't have the social deficits, though his social skills are definitely obtained later in life and cognitively, not intuitively. He has what seems to be SID (sensory integration dysfunction) but has coping mechanisms that allow him to be able to work, socialize not appear "weird". He requires more "recovery" time from sensory overload and isn't always able to verbalize his immediate thoughts-he thinks in pictures.
So, if he's Aspie or on the ASD, it's very mild. We've been married almost 11 years. We didn't know anything about autism until 5 1/2 years ago and we didn't suspect we had very many autistic traits until about 1 1/2-2 years ago.
The key to our success is that we view relationships as an obligation-we don't obsess over happiness or keeping up appearances. We communicate and we understand each other. He had to realize that I communicate a certain way and that you can't really compare my way of talking with others.

death seems quicker
this protoss dude is right
99 % of aspie males-I've seen are single or very unhappily married

Really it's down to courtship, the male is expected to be confident, take a woman on a date, which basically is communication based, they say the more original your pickup line is the better, most females like the tall, dark, mysterious guy.

Mostly it's the male that is in the driven seat to start flirting, or know when to start flirting on a female, females guide it, & really females are in control of the relationship, until the guy becomes dominating & controlling. But this is the catch, the saying goes the best time to find someone is when your least looking, mind you that means you need to be outgoing, or just be lucky, as most females have the view of they don't want to go first as they will look desperate, a select couple don't care what people say about dating junk.

& really dating is not about been yourself, it's about impressing the person in front of you, lying normally is done allot, job's they do, about them, so on... In the end the female wonder's what happened to the guy they met, & the guy just goes by the saying they plenty more fish in the sea..

Do females even question this saying....

they calling you fish, fish are easy pray to catch, which fall for the same trick over & over again... Other words they plenty more idiots out they that will fall for the same trick...


You guys are probably spending too much time together.... You need to get them hanging out with the friends sometimes, & doing what they normaly do, or they will not get the extraverted stimulation they need...

Lot of aspies who are married get crap from their spouses. At the speeches Liane was at when she be giving them, all these aspies would be coming up to her asking her how she does it and how they have a great marriage and how they get along and they rant to her about how badly they are treated in their marriage and how their spouses won't accept their traits or their condition or the possibility they might have it and their spouses won't accept it.
So I think lot of aspies have a crappy marriage because I have seen lot of posts about it in groups by aspies ranting about their marriage problems because of their AS or autism. Only few have a good one.

I just looked up my class reunion site, it has a lot of updates on my peers. Almost all the guys that seemed "doomed" and really, really Aspie-ish are married or committed with kids. Some of the stories seemed recent, some married right out of high school. The really popular, good looking ones all have been divorced several times, so are still single.
I think when you say that you hear a lot of complaints about Aspie marriages, you're only hearing a subset of people. Happy people aren't asking for advice, aren't posting about their marriage and probably don't engage in NT banter about stereotypes (style of complaining).

Allot of NTs have bad relationships, most are too scared to leave... & some get manipulated into thinking it's they fault or they paranoid, even if you get them to take a lie detector test they will still call you paranoid...

Really what you see in society is allot different to when the door is closed... They might be smiling & showing nothing to be wrong...


Pro you ever thought you might not of felt love because you have not met anyone you have that strong feeling with, most people use love in many different ways... Does not always mean your in love with them...?

My wife and I are in my avatar. We have been married over five years and met in 1999.

cdwarin how do u look her in the eyes an tell her you love her and do you feel it?

how do you get that deep social connection of a NT does an let there real emotions come flowing out?

how do you look at her face/face and UP CLOSE an do the romantic stuff that is the key to a relationship?

it is one of the hardest things i ever done i feel like im on a rollercoaster ride that someone elses is controlling an im just tryin to stay in the ride and fit in

how can you keep it up?

i hate talkin about things in social setting's THE BIG things are whast kill me like relationship talk these girls must really be understanding imo

part of me wants the perfect marriage with light social talk like basic's but i just hate romance an deep emotional conversations are impossible for me

I think a reasonable amount od AS people get married, my dad appears to have AS andhe has been married 35 years. He often gets yelled at though for reading too much instead of cleaning the garage etc.