Relaxed face=angry look?

Post Reply New Topic

I'll start off by saying that I work at a grocery store collecting shopping carts from the parking lot during my whole shift.

One day, my mother was driving through the parking lot while I was working, and she stopped near me and asked if I was angry about something, cuz I had a look of anger in my face.

I was actually in a decent mood, but my face was relaxed, not smiling or frowning.

Anybody else been told you look angry when your face is relaxed? Plus I've read that Aspies can have unexpressioned looks on their faces often.

Yes...always....What I think is relaxed or neutral acutally looks angry or annoyed.

all the time...
worse, being told to calm down when Im relaxed.
Slow down when I am slow.
Think when I have thought things out.
Happy when sad.
Sad when happy.
Hyper when athletic.
Dangerous when safe.
Insecure when solid.
Miserable when I am fine.
Fine when I am miserable.

on on on on.
Sometimes, I think gawd this is the twilight zone.

When I see a relaxed face, I assume the person has troubles on their mind. I am usually right although sometimes I am way off.

I mean come on, am I supposed to smile CONSTANTLY???

I've never seen one person constantly smile. It just seems unnatural.

I've been told I have a sad relaxed look .

I was out last night in a bar and one of my best mates was laughing at me because I looked so angry. "Cheer up! You always look so pissed off when you're thinking, it's kinda cute..." he told me. I just laughed and tried to pull the face he said I'd been pulling but couldn't do it when I tried!!

I guess I'm fortunate in this regard. When my face is relaxed, I'm told I look innocent.

All the time!

I once showed someone a picture of me where I, imho, looked neutral, and he thought I looked angsty.

I can't count the times people have asked me, "What's wrong?" or "Why are you upset?" when I was feeling totally fine.

i constantly get that at work...when i'm deep in thought apparently i look either upset or pissed off...i've been told both. again, what do people expect? that you go around with a perma-grin pasted on your face? if i'm sitting in my office doing paper work, i don't think too much about the expression i'm wearing, but people will see me and ask who pissed me off or what i'm so angry about...(hey...maybe i'm pissed off because you're asking me why i'm pissed off when i'm not? yeah, maybe that's why...duh.)

i've been told this for as long as i can remember...i guess i'm just not a naturally smiley person.

I'm told I look angry all the time when my face is just relaxed. It pisses me off that all these people who are supposed to be so much better at reading faces actually have no clue what "relaxed" is.

People have mentioned a couple of times that I have an intense look of concentration on my face. Usually I'm deep in thought though and barely care about the work.

My spectrum sons (the older one especially) can look angry when really, they're just neutral. Or even feeling moderately content. I'm used to t hem, so I don't see it, but friends tell me, "I saw your older son walking through the mall, wearing all his back heavy clothing and biker boots like he does, and I wanted to say hello but he looked so angry, I didn't want to go near him."

I pointed out to my friend that if he was feeling as angry as she thought he looked, he wouldn't have been anywhere near the mall, with all the bustle and people.

It DOES take effort to actually smile. They say it takes less effort to smile than frown, but so often we forget, that no expression is least energy of all.

As a NT, I would recommend you don't change who you are, but be aware maybe, that when you are greeting someone you may need to smile, a little. My Aspie husband used to tell little jokes, totally deadpan. But with absolutely no expression, people thought he was being serious, they thought he was really weird to say such a thing. So he learned to smile, just a tiny bit, when he made a joke. It works!

My older son's best friend (Aspie) really scared the teachers at school with his totally expressionless delivery. He was physically imposing, which made them even more nervous. One nasty teacher eventually used that fear of him to get him thrown out. And being Aspie, he was ill-equipped to fight back in any way (especially legally).

You may find family won't comment because they know you are can 'read' the much smaller expression changes, but it will be friends and strangers who won't understand as well.

Also be aware - some people will say to ANYONE who for that moment has an expressionless face, "Cheer up! It probably won't happen." Or something similar. it's a joke, a light-hearted way to change a topic or even begin a topic. A conversation starter, a chance to share something that might be bothering you, or a chance to say something light-hearted in return, such as "let's go catch a movie."