I totally trapped. I don’t have any wieght to lose, any more nice cloths to buy, and I seem happy and confident, and ,according to some workmates, not shy. I am so depressed I don’t think it is possible that anyone can take this level of loneliness. The only thing that I can do is try meditation as a cure for loneliness because there is no other cure. And possibility find a bitter find more money for status, and all those things I don’t care about.
I can’t even enjoy a novel, because it is meaningless and I cant get drunk of a Friday because drinking makes me even more depressed. My workmate always say that I should go on vacation, now the novelty has weared off it is now just a very expensive way to spend more time fighting depression.