Jealous of Their Friends

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I think I have a jealousy problem or something. I don't really have many friends. I mean, I'm a little unsure if I should call the people I do know friends. But anyway, back to the jealousy thing: sometimes I guess I've felt jealous of my friend's friends. Like, if I'm only talking to them and they have a bunch of other friends to talk to, then I become a little jealous. For example, I could be chatting with someone and find out that they're chatting with someone else at the same time, I start to feel like I don't matter now. I feel like they'd rather talk to that other person.

I guess maybe it's because I wish I was their only friend too, but that's horrible to wish they didn't have friends either. I don't feel like I need a lot of friends, but I wonder if I had more would I still feel like this toward their friends. I feel crazy actually admitting I get like this. I'm trying to get over it.

So have you ever felt this way? I'm sure there aren't many people who feel like this, but I thought I'd still ask.

I get exactly what you mean, me too.
I really prefer talking to people one on one. Otherwise I tend to feel like, "never mind, I'll just go away".

I thinking this is stemming from low self-esteem. Don't feel to horrible about yourself. At least your self aware and thats a good thing.

yes I am very jealous of my friends

Yeah, I am not jealous, but i would like close friends. But I have none. I had one, but being an aspie took care of that real fast.

I think it is more important to be happy in friendship, however many you have. I have two close friends. They have their friends. Although I have been introduced to one of my friend’s friends on a few occasions, I kind of like how I have barely seen them at all. I have little in common with their friends. I like my friends to have another life, this is more compatible with me as an aspie. One friend likes to do something every night. Fortunately he has enough people to spend with, because I don't need to see him that often. I like how we have in common that we know what it is like to be socially anxious and have some shared things that we like to do, but otherwise we would be unconnected and don’t share that many interconnected acquaintances (and they are nearly all socially anxious). It seems to make things a lot easer.

If you are not sure if they are really friends that is not the end of the world, the main thing is you have something in common, and you like them. Then you have to learn how to reciprocate friendship. It can be a bit of a learning curve but worth it.

I didn’t really have true reciprocal friends till 24. I had some people that tried to be my friend in school and put up with me, when I wasn’t being bullied. They were long suffering lol. I didn’t know what was actually required to be a friend. I was just ok with being around them. It was only when I got in my second year of university that I realised I wanted friends. I had been called ‘no mates’ before this. I din’t like being called ‘no mates’ but I didn’t consciously want friends in the true sense.

i had some good friends back in the day and i didn't really need more at the time and i wasn't jealous at all of them.

Now I've sort of lost contact with my really good friends and i find that now I've just got some casual friends (might hang out with them occasionally, go to the same parties, etc. but nothing deep), two friends i spend alot of time with but don't share anything deep, and one friend that i really care about and she cares about me but we don't hang out much. i'm finding that i really want a friend i can talk to about some issues with my life and occasionally i will get slightly jealous of the friends i see that have those friends. i talk to a few long distance friends online about personal stuff but it's not the same as face to face.

so i think if you got more friends, quality friends not just acquaintances, you might feel better, but that'll probably take time so i don't think there'll be a quick solution

I introduced all my friends to each other now they're all friends with one another but not me.
I'm glad they found each other and they were kinda holding me back.