Help!! College life is going down the drain!

Post Reply New Topic

Hi,
I have been diagnosed with aspergers for a long time but just shrugged it off hoping it would go away.
I have recently become researching aspergers and found the description identical to my life!! I have only just realised its a syndrome and something that wont just go away, so i need to do something about it!
My parents where all ways making me go to social groups to try and help and they did!
The more I went to the better my social life became and the more friends i had and even managed to hold a long term relationship.
But now things are taking a turn, im struggling to socialise with the same people i used to and just cant get anything right.
im struggling to find things to occupy myself with and im scared of losing all my friends through it.Can anyone give any advice or know of anything in the bristol area (uk) that can help me?!?!?
Many Thanks
-Sam-

What are you majoring in?

Hello Sam,

I'm the mom of a young man who sounds so much like you. He went of to university a year and a half ago. About half way through his first semester, he quit going to class. Right before finals, he panicked and withdrew from school, all unbeknownst to his dad and me. He had also gone 'incognito,' difficult if not impossible to contact. His dad and I were so concerned, because he's also Bipolar, OCD, and ADHD, and had contemplated suicide.

Our son took a year to work at an entry-level job and attend a few classes elsewhere. Now he's back as a university freshman (again), saying he's ready for the challenges. But I'm not so sure he is, he's not communicating again. My heart goes out to him. I know he so sincerely wants to be a friend and have good friends, and a girlfriend. But this is about the central challenge of Asperger's, which I believe is Empathy.

What you're experiencing is not your fault! Empathy is the bridge that those human connections are made of. It sounds as though you've learned the behaviors that friends do, but it's not really about Acting thus & so, it's about Feelings and Emotions that I'm not sure aspies have access to! Or if y'all do have access, it doesn't seem that way to the people you'd like to connect with. For example, I think my son 'loves' me, but if that's true, why has he shut off contact?

I too am interested to know what you're studying. Many aspies end up in technical fields where aspie-ness is not so much of a liability. But my son's studying English because he wants to be a poet -- I think to be able to express his angst -- so much like yours -- in words. He also wants to teach.

I just want to say, Sam: Courage! So what if you're not like everyone else?! Do work that's meaningful to you that makes a contribution to our world. Your work will be its own reward. And people will eventually seek you out because of your wonderful contributions, as you will seek out like-minded colleagues and kindred spirits. If you have other passions besides your studies or your work, attend organized meetings and outings that relate to those passions. (Me, I'm an outdoors nut, I love to help protect the environment and have hiking outings, etc. ... I let clubs do the organizing work!)

Do your best, be true to yourself, don't panic. Talk to people, and realize that, some portion of the time, that won't 'convert' to friendship (it's the same for all of us, believe me).

My heart breaks for my son, whom I don't even really know any more. And my heart goes out to you too, Sam! All the best!

If they're your friends, then they won't leave you just because you're going through a rough patch. Nevermind them for now, and focus on yourself first. Why are you so stressed out? What can you do to feel better? Maybe make a 'to do' list of all your concerns, that always helps me.

hey thnx for the replies its cheered me up!!
Im was studying maths, chemistry, biology and physics at AS level.
seeing as though i have finished the courses i am looking for a carreer or apprenticeship in anything mechanical, i have my eye set on a placement scheme with airbus as an engineer.

I too am very fond of the great outdoors! I mainly spend my time on my mountain bike or flying one of my powerkites!

Many thanks
Sam

AS level - what does that mean?

Try a place you can commute to. If you can live away from campus, you don't have to deal with alot of the social crap unless you want to. I commute to a tech university and its great.

colleges in the uk are different to the ones in the states!
so i still live at home at the moment anyway.
An AS(advanced Subsiduary) level is half of an A level.
a levels are are below degrees in between school and university.