Didn't your father ever break you?

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I used to work in a newsroom and that was what a psycho journalist said to me once. I must have seem like an 'uppity' woman or something. They guy was having horrendous problems at the time but uh, is that what they do in NT world? 'break' daughters?

What? Hmm... I dont think I understand, nor have I ever heard of the term to break somebody.

I don't understand what you mean...My dad was very abusive to me. He was much nicer to my sister...still is. He threw me against a wall once...he beat me if I was angry and started hyperventilating...saying that I was just making noises to make him mad...breathing hard...no, I was hyperventilating...I remember being about 12 and he was going to the drugstore...he asked my sister (his favorite) if she wanted to go, and she said no...so I offerred to go...He said to me, "I don't go anywhere with you, you are a pain in the..." Also, once he left to go with his friends on a vacation for a week during my birthday...Even a month ago, when we were at his house, I was freaking out because nobody could find my son...I lost it and started screaming at my husband...who was also freaking out...My dad instead turned on me and began yelling at me...my mother had to stop him because otherwise, he would have hit me...I left the house...I have not talked to him since. When I divorced at the age of 27, he came to me and told me how sorry he was that my husband had treated me so badly...honestly, I was so used to being treated badly by him, that's all I knew...Anyway, I turned to him and told him that what my husband had done to me was nothing in comparison to what he had done to me all my life. He said nothing.

To this day, I have a horrible relationship with him. I don't have a great relationship with my mother either, as her view is "that's what parents did before..." , but it's not as bad as with my dad.

Sorry if that's not what you meant.

Mine broke me.
Broke my nose, first with a quick blow to the face.
Broke the integrity of my upper spine with a swift blow from behind.
Broke a vessel in my throat-as he squeeze the life from my fragile form: I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you, he said.
Broke my virginity-but that had already been broke by one who didn't quite break my jaw-and covered my mouth from the screams for help; oh yeah, and dad's daughter had had a man rape me not just a week before.
I had been warned me of the foreplanned breaking-time and time again.
I'll break you, I'll break you, I'll break you, he claimed.
It never made a bit of sense.
And after not a bit more.
He never correllated it to my behavior in any way.
To this day. It doesn't make any sense.

Broke my soul...when the officer protected him. Anything for a good ol fast talkin country boy.

I've heard now he has another daughter, works on police computers, and has recently broken the girls mother. That the courts won't respond to her. Up to his ol games again.

Are you eluding that this is some sort of sick trend in our fathers? Break em in advance?
The origions of the behavior are an interest to me. But it is no suprise. Just nice to hear other stories and a hint of an origion.

dang...can't top that. But I did get bent a little. I think he has a little AS himself, but he'd never admit it.

Dude, I was a *really* good girl before. It *did* help that he was just filling the role of dad and didn't actually birth me. He didn't make me a good girl though he is took credit for another mans work. First by making me look horrible and crying to his friends wohisme, then by noticing my accomplishments (when I started studying law) and saying 'see, she turned out ok'.

sociopath. some day these kind of people will go to jail. but with as many friends as they groom for use, it is going to be a really long road.

but I'm seeing it. I am seeing it.

I'm not sure what he meant either when he said that. I think it's about putting one in one's place (inferior) so that you have a sense of your own innate inferiority and dependence on the master. Like breaking horses I think. Master/slave stuff. I think that's what he meant. who knows, these people are crazy. He was quite the sociopath I think.

...besides, a lot of men like dominant women. Don't they? depends what their mothers were like I think.

thanks for the replies. interesting stuff.

seabright, did you finish your law degree? Just wondering...that was my dream since I was about 11...but my parents made sure that I always thought I was an idiot, and didn't allow me to study what/where I wanted to either...

Revenge is nice though...I worked for an airline when I was 21 and my dad retired from his job and went to work in the same place...one day my manager told my dad that he should've paid for me to go to law school because I would've never lost a case...he proceeded to tell him that if he didn't, he would...

My dad still won't talk to me about anything work related or meaningful...but now I understand that it has more to do with his stupidity and own insecurities, not my abilities...

Wow, whoever told you that sounds like a prize c**t.

yeah. talk about 'inappropriate'. The odd thing was, it was in a group situation: him and a couple of women who, by their demeanour (groupie-like), seemed to agree with him.

I found it bizarre, like what century do we live in.

Journos are a strange breed of person. He was having a bit of a midlife crisis at the time and having problems with his own daughter I believe. sheesh.

Sometimes I think I am a universal scapegoat. I know my family 'groomed' me for that purpose.

wow. that is a VERY inappropriate comment - as if you are a horse to be "trained" or "broken". yuck! I would have completely blown my top at the guy, gone to personnel dept and filed a complaint, etc... Once I was called a "tough nut to crack." I dumped that boyfriend soon after and I don't even think he meant as mean a thing as was intended in your situation.

Wow. Did he take a bus from 1860?

I was raised by a man who believed that women should be seen and not heard, and that women had there place, which was far below ANY man. Mentally he did everything he could to break me. I spent my 16th birthday on the kitchen floor on my knees with a scrub brush because it was time for me to learn how to be a useful woman.
My ex husband constantly told me that our marriage would be wonderful if I learned what my place was or if I learned to keep my mouth shut.

I don't think it's NT or AS. I think it's a case of men who are threatened by strong women.

(My father and ex never did manage to break me, by the way. )