Job hunting time - im scared. How to cope with interviews ?

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Ive just graduated from uni.

Now i have been living at home with my parent since i finished early this summer and now my dad is really getting pissed off with me sitting at home all day. I have applied to a few jobs online but havent really been putting much effort into it.

I know i should be more pro active, after all my parents have supported me all this time, now i need to repay them by getting by on my own. But im really frightened of the outside or real world. Its the job interviews im mostly afraid of. Not like ive never worked before. Ive spent a year working, but that was an industrial placement which was part of my degree course, i had several interviews, some were ok some were terrible but i get the feelin finding a 'real' job, the interviews are gonna be much tougher.

I like many of you here have difficulty in these siutations, especially under pressure and myself alone being questioned by a panel of people .. i know im just gonna mess up - nervous voice, sentences which dont make sense etc

Being an aspie i kno these problems arent ever going to go away, but maybe i can at least learn to hide it at the interviews.

I want to work, i want money, i NEED money. My dad is expecting me to get some IT job and climb the ladder. But i can never see myself as a manager. In fact im quite comfortable having a quiet job where im left alone as long as the salary is enough to pay the rent and live reasonably comfortably.

Not much point to this post. I suppose i just wanted to get this off my chest.

But how do you guys cope with job hunting and interviews ?

I made use of my university's career services center.

I participated in mock interviews and went to a few "how to sell yourself" seminars. I also got a list of common interview questions, wrote out my answers, and then read them over before going into interviews.

Writing things out helps, because I think better by writing than by speaking. I was also fairly comfortable with the career services employees, so the mock interviews weren't too bad.

I made sure to drive to the place where I'd be interviewing beforehand, because I didn't want to risk getting lost. On the day of the interview, I made a point to get there early so I'd have some time to relax before the interview.

If you know your good at something, offer your self, sell your self to them, if they do not accept its their loss.
its all a state of mind, the worst they can do is never call you, the best is higher you, you would be surprised at how many places are looking to higher someone that is fresh meat to the job market, that way they can train you the way they want you, just be confident with the attitude that its there loss if they do not want you and its their gain to accept you. they only see what you want them to see, remember that.

I found interviews a real nightmare for several years and made some almighty cock-ups in some of them, I can tell you.

I'll never forget the words from one potential employer to my Uni careers advisors:

"We're still looking for someone, but we don't want HIM no matter what".

Charming!! And that was merely for an industrial placement year!

Since then, with the help of NT advice I've learnt to give a pretty good interview. I basically have a script for it in my mind of how to behave and what to say. It's tremendously stressful but it works.

Things you can do to help:

Research as much as possible about the company and the job they have to offer. This will help you relate your talents to the role and their culture.
Make frequent (but not staring) eye contact - yes I know it's hard!
Try not to talk too slowly, too quick or in a flat tone. I appreciate how hard that can be too.
Wear a pasted on smile if you have to, but for heavens sake smile!
Learn when to talk and when to shut up! Short concise sentences seem to work best, try not to waffle and don't give one word answers unless appropiate - tricky to work out but practice helps.
Get a book of common interview questions, ask a friend/family member to ask you these questions and try to give good answers on the spot. If you struggle (and you probably will, I do), then sit down and try to write out a good response. There's lots of sites on the web with suggested answers to common questions and that helps too.
Dress to impress - don't be afraid to go into a shop and ask the assistant what they think will work for an interview, ask family too. Generally, conservative suit+tie+shirt works best for men.
If it's a job for something technical, (such as IT) then learn the subject matter well, revise for it like it's an exam, you may well be asked questions or asked to complete a test paper.

Good luck!

p.s. expect to make mistakes even in the best interviews, even NTs make mistakes(!), you may still get the job anyway!

EDIT: also have a list of sensible questions about the employer and the role written down to take in with you, an interview can be won or lost on the basis of what you say when asked "have you any questions?"...

Also, do not fear psychological profiling etc, be honest but be positive. If you're not right for them then they're not right for you either. You want to work somewhere (ideally) where you can be yourself to some degree or another, IMHO.

I sometimes have to interview people for software jobs, for a small private company rather than a multinational. If we get as far as interview, it means that we are pretty convinced that we want to hire the person based on their application. The purpose of the interview is really to figure out if the person was truthful in their application and to see if they will fit in with the people that they will have to work with.

If you are truthful and honest in both your application and the interview, you should do just fine. Sometimes people just won't fit in with the rest of the team (for example, if one party's philosophy is that of a low-level hacker and the other's is of careful top-down-design, the candidate may not fit in well). If so, you probably don't want to work there anyway. Unfortunately, some NT types may think that you are not honest because of your body language, particularly if you are nervous.

I solved most of my interview problems by turning the interview upside down: I would go simply to investigate if I wanted to work there, rather than to see if they wanted me to work for them. This gave me something concrete to try and pretty much solved the 'nerves' problem since I was no longer just trying to get the first job that came up. It also helps to realise that some employers will reject you because they failed to recognise your strengths. If that's the case, better they make that mistake at interview rather than while you are working for them, as they are probably not worth working for anyway.

BTW, I'm told that I'm a fairly intimidating interviewer! I tend to stare continously at the person or not look at them at all and all my questions are apparently very direct and blunt. This seems to unsettle most NTs...

I rehearse almost all of my social situations in advance. I do it when I walk at night, when I'm in the shower, when I'm alone. For an interview situation, I imagine the interviewer asking me all manner of questions. I try to think of everything she could ask, covering both "easy" and "difficult", normal and absurd. While I don't strive for memorized responses, I do try to make it so that answers flow fairly easily from me.

I repeat the exercises ad nauseum until either I'm as comfortable as I'm going to be with the upcoming situation or I'm bored.

Me too, though it doesn't seem to be very helpful. Often I have ended up to 2 or 3am obsessively working through scenarious for some meeting the following day. I end up tired and therefore less able to concentrate, and then it often turns out that the meeting goes off in some direction that I had not expected.

I do this (though not so severely) just to go to the shops. Even to go over the road to buy some food it sometimes takes me half an hour to work through what I am going to do and how. These scripts can also interfere with what I want to do. For example, I went to get a coffee last week. I wanted to order decaffeinated as I had already drunk a fair bit earlier, but I although I had been to the cafe many times before and although they sell decaf, I still made the exact same order as usual simply because I was already queuing when I though of making the change and I didn't have time to work through what and how I would ask for the modified order before having to speak

I think that in general it is better to go to an interview as relaxed and fresh as possible and with as little scripting as possible. This is scarey, but you have to face this anyway. Unfortunately I always script compulsively, even though I'm not sure it actually helps.

It is just practice and the good thing is that with the more interviews you have you will begin to see that (unlike general conversation) they tend to follow a structure.

That structure can be learnt. They tend to ask the same questions so after a while you can learn some stock replies.

Be warned though ~ they will look for eye contact. If I am having an interview I really make the effort and save my best eye contact for it. I keep telling myself it is only for an hour maximum.

Thanks for the tips everyone !

Yeah i guess its a matter od practice. From the interviews i had, i also noticed a lot of repeated format. I guess i can just learn loads of different possible question they could ask and rehearse an answer that matches me. But then theres always gonna be a question that will throw me off guard, i guess those are the ones thats really gonna scare me.

Well, ive started to apply for jobs. Spent the last week registering with agencies, applying online etc. I hope (do i really hope ?) i will start getting invitations for interviews soon. Although filling in the app forms are already starting to scare me with the thoughts of going through interviews. Oh well, thats the tough life of an aspie.

Hi Folks!

I've been in computer technical support for ten years. A few years ago I was laid off and attended outplacement services. The best information I found was during a half day seminar on interviewing techniques. Every interview I've done since that training led to job offers.

We've all heard the best candidate rarely gets the job. The candidate who best *articulates* how their skills and background meets the hiring organization needs wins the job. Keep in mind, by the time you've been called in for an interview, the company believes you are qualified to do the job. Most of the interviewers are primarily concerned about your personality and compatibility with their organization. I used to blow interviews because I thought all the questions had a technical basis. They want to see/hear what you are like as a person. Usually, the most technical questions will originate from the Peer Worker. HR and manager types have no clue about really technical stuff like "Where can you find the system debugging logs in HPUX and AIX?"

Here's a generalized chart showing what types of people will be interviewing you(at medium to large companies), and the type of questions they will generally ask:

HR Representative (Compatibility/Scripted)
Director Level Manager (Compatibility/Scripted)
Hiring Manager or his/her peer) (Compatibility/Scripted)
A Peer (Technical questions)

In big companies, HR controls the types of questions that can be asked in an interview. Some questions are simply illegal to ask. So they will have a "scripted interview", where all candidates are asked the same exact questions. Usually these are open ended questions along the lines of, "Tell me about a time when you had to deal with conflict in the workplace?"or " Tell me about yourself". If you've never prepared for questions like this, your stuck groping for something coherent. This is where NTs just start BSing and Aspies are stuck floundering.

There's two tricks. 1) there's only about a dozen fundamental questions with many variations. 2) Have an arsenal of "stories" prepared for each fundamental question. Prepare days ahead of the interview. During the interview, you select the story that closest matches the question. It doesn't really matter if the story exactly matches the question. For each "story" write a paragraph, then practice speaking it aloud, over and over till you have it down pat. Each story should be timed to last 30 seconds to a minute, spoken at a conversational rate. Practice until each story flows. Each story should be crafted around a something you're positive about or an accomplishment, or a resume bullet. It seems fake and unnatural, but you will have articulate responses to their questions.

Here's some of those standard questions:
Tell me about yourself. (your position statement)
Why should we hire you? (talk about what you can do for them, resume bullets)
Tell me about a difficult situation/customer. (how do you react under stress?)
How did you save money at your last job? (major accomplishments)
Why did you leave your last job?/Why are you looking now? (your exit statement)

Do not allow *any* negativity in your responses. Do not ever say anything bad about employers, customers, anything. Even if you had personality disputes with your manager, or had to leave due to stress, or the job was mind numbingly tedious or anything potentially damaging. The interviewer does not need to know, simply summarise with something like "I decided it was time to move on" or "I am looking for new challenges". Then shut up! Let the interview ask the next question.

I can't guarantee this strategy will get you a job, but preparing for an interview ahead of time will build your confidence for the interview.

thanks ChromeNads that was an interesting read. Certainly makes me a little more confident.

Do you know any websites which have loads of example interview questions. Actually are there any with whole interview dialogues ?

Hi Jonny,

I was afraid someone would ask that question. I don't know of any specific websites with that information. I foiuind my old seminar materials. Keep in mind this stuff is about five years out of data. Hopefully you'll find this helpful.

Sensitive questions (possibly illegal to ask, but still requiring some type of response."If you want to right an injustice, you are advised to do it at another time"). If you are asked a sensitive question, it could just show the interviewer has not been trained how to conduct interviews and intends no wrongdoing or it could be a warning flag.
Birthplace
Age or Birthdate
Nationality or race
Arrest Record
Marital status, plans for children
Height and weight
History of drug or alcohol addiction
Hobbies or Activities
Sentiments about unions
Disabilities or physical limitations.

Questions that can be asked:
Why you left previous employer.
What kind of reference you would be given by former employer/educational institution.
What you liked/didn't like about a previous job.
How you got along withsupervisors.
Wages, pay increases and promotions

Commonly asked questions:

1) Tell me about yourself. (why should we hire you?). Answer with your position statement.

2) Why did you leave/plan to leave your last job? Answer with Exit statement."As you may know, <company name> has bee restructuring, and my position was one of a number eliminated. I am looking for am opportunity that will..."

3) What kind of work are you looking for? Emphasize where your skills/abilities provide a good match for the position. Don't say you're looking for something different! Respond with "I'm looking for a position like this one because..."

4) What are your strengths? Respond with prepared story.

5) What are your weaknesses? or How did you deal with a weakness? You do not have to respond in the plural! You can say you're weak in an area but looking forexperience to overcome it. Respond with a minor weakness, not a major one!If you give a major weakness, you are giving them a justification to eliminate you from consideration. Fess Up, Fix up, then Shut Up!

6) Tell me about your last job/employer. Looking for primary job responsabilities.

7) How did you get along with your last boss? Be as positive as possible, DON'T RANT! Find something positive to say like "He's a demanding boss, I learned a lot from him."

What are your long term goals? Describe your job situation using your skills/values or interests.

9) How much did you earn at your last job? You don't have to answer the question but you do have to respond. "The amount of money I make is secondary to my job satisfaction". If asked at the beginning of an interview, they're screening. Towards end of interview, respond with something like "Salary is only a part of total compensation. What is your compensation plan?" or " I don't want to undervalue myself at this point" or "Are you prepared to make a job offer?" From your research you should be reasonably sure about the standard salaries for your line of work.

10) What do you know about us? Don't go to an interview without researching the company first. Mention any networking contacts if any. Google the company for recent news or products.

If you are asked a "what if" or hypothetical question, respond with something you did. Emphasize similarities to one of your stories.

More possible questons/responses.

11) You've had a lot of years with your former company. I'm concerned about your ability to adjust. How do you think it will be for you? They're worried about an inability to adjust so emphasize your adaptability.

12) Aren't you a little too old(or young) for this position? Rarely asked, frequently sensed. Never respond with terms like old or young. Emphasize maturity experience or emphasize enthusiasm, drive and eagerness to learn if young.

13) What kinds of jobs did you like best?

14) What equipment or systems can you operate?

15) How long have you been out of work? If over three months, have a well prepared answer.

16) How do you get along with other people? Emphasize team work.

17) Tell me about your educational background. What were your favorite courses? If you lack formal education, emphasize on the job training, experience, workshops, seminars.

18) How would you describe yourself as a person? Answer with your characteristics, values and strengths. They are not asking about weaknesses!

19) May I contact your references?

Deadly Interviewing Sins

1) Under preparation. Don't know company or products.

2) Lack of optimism.

3) Lack of Strategy. Sell or emphasize your strongest points. Your prepared stories, position statemet and exit statemets address this!

4) Inert physical presence. "Interacting for success"

5) Lack of follow through. Thank you calls or email!


Good Luck!

Thanks again, most helpful !

I guess for most of these questions, dont need a direct answer. I see the questions as just a way or dare say it excuse to get all the good points out of the interviewee, right ?

I always go through employment agencies as a temp to hire. I almost never have to interview then, I just show up and if after 3 months they like you, then they keep you on. I am a good employee (when it is the right kind of job for me) but interviews are terrible for me, I get nervous and I start stimming, or without any forwarning i'll start watching thier screen saver, the list goes on.